http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=27792 The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Tue, 21 May 2013 05:38:56 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=27792#post-77075 Fri, 15 Jul 2011 22:49:59 +0000 grottymonty 77075@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>would you mind hugely if I printed this out, and stuck it on the noticeboard for the listless fuckers I work with to have read to them next time they can be arsed to come in?<br /> have </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=27792#post-77033 Fri, 15 Jul 2011 15:50:55 +0000 Al OPecia 77033@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Whatever. 5* or something. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=27792#post-76747 Thu, 14 Jul 2011 08:12:34 +0000 Oxbridge 76747@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>So what do you want. Five fucking stars? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=27792#post-76717 Wed, 13 Jul 2011 20:33:15 +0000 Le Creuset Fiend 76717@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>The first thing I've read all day that's made me giggle out loud!</p> <p>Have five fucking medals or something! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=27792#post-76714 Wed, 13 Jul 2011 20:19:03 +0000 rikkor 76714@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Amusant. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=27792#post-76712 Wed, 13 Jul 2011 19:43:11 +0000 waylandsmithy 76712@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Quality stuff! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=27792#post-76710 Wed, 13 Jul 2011 19:38:14 +0000 Golgo13 76710@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Like it. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=27792#post-76709 Wed, 13 Jul 2011 19:26:08 +0000 Ironduke 76709@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Absolutely brilliant! Bloody inspired! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=27792#post-76708 Wed, 13 Jul 2011 19:20:55 +0000 Andrew 76708@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Robin Parker, 52, of Lewisham, was today awarded a fucking medal or something for turning up to work on time for the tenth day running.</p> <p>His supervisor, Helen Thomas, said "he's had a bit of a problem lately sticking to his contracted hours, but there's been an improvement in the last couple of weeks, and he's currently meeting his obligations. I made a point of thanking him, because I think it helps, and he seemed very proud, so I asked if he wanted [to be nominated for the prestigious award]. I mean, <em>really</em>."</p> <p>The fucking medal or something, given annually by the Centre For Doing Your Fucking Job Shithead (CfDYFJS), honours those members of society who selflessly and with great fanfare get on with their lives like grown ups. Jason Cox, head of the CfDYFJS, said at the ceremony that Parker was a truly deserving winner, remarking that it was "not as if everyone else turns up for work on time without making such a big deal of it the whole entire time."</p> <p>Cox added that it was a great honour to hear Parker's account of the events, saying it was "as if he'd cured fucking cancer or something to hear him go on about it." Fortunately, Parker is refreshingly willing to talk about his accomplishment.</p> <p>Parker's award is currently hanging on his living room wall, above the fucking Oscar he won in 1992 for his performance in I Don't Think I Should Come In For A Bit, There's Some Kind Of Bug Or Whatever Going Around And I Wouldn't Want To Spread It About. </p>