http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=2768 The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Fri, 24 May 2013 21:25:08 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=2768#post-8116 Sun, 18 Apr 2010 06:08:30 +0000 virtuallywill 8116@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>4 from me, though maybe only a few years from the truth. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=2768#post-8115 Sun, 18 Apr 2010 05:11:03 +0000 MightyBlair 8115@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>The Human Fertilization and Embryology Authority has caused outrage by granting Newcastle University license to investigate means of eradicating the Ginger gene. Researchers anticipate that a foetal screening programme could be operational within two years, with a parallel counseling programme to provide support and guidance to the families of children with a high percentage of being orange. In addition, it is hoped that a gene therapy programme will help to eliminate the recessive ginger gene in infected hosts, therefore reducing ginger incidence. </p> <p>The move follows the reclassification of Gingerness as a disability under the Disability Discrimination Act 2005. Heinrich Bauer, Chief Geneticist at the HFEA, stated that ‘Gingerness has long been misunderstood as variety of normal life, akin to hairiness and left-handedness. But those who are ginger are subject to insufferable hardship and prejudice; taunted as children for their vibrant plumage, chided by the vicious sun for their pale skin and exploited by sun-block manufacturers for their inability to cover every inch of poor, vulnerable, freckled, pink flesh. These creatures are doomed to hide in shadows, to be used as solar-powered human radiators in an age where the environmentally friendly option is pursued no matter the cost. Why, when we have the power, should we not seek an end to this genetic tyranny?!’</p> <p>Human Rights activists have accused the organization of endorsing ethnic cleansing, and labeled Bauer ‘a maniac’. ‘Madeira', the militant wing of ‘Justice for Gingers’ warned it would escalate its campaign of terror by infiltrating dating agencies nationwide. The threat has lead to hysteria amongst the 30-50 age groups. ‘It’s terrifying!’ said an anonymous dater, ‘you just don’t know who to trust. I attended a speed-dating event and no-one spoke. Everyone just stared at each others eyebrows and beards looking for traces of ginger. One place has even installed sun-beds at the front door to sniff out the photosensitive!’ </p> <p>The measures are likely to be blocked in the European Court of Human rights, where Gingers were recently deemed a protected species. Several EU-sanctioned breeding programmes are in development, as well as a ‘Adopt a Ginger’ campaign, set to be rolled out around the Christmas; a time when large numbers of Gingers are abandoned. </p>