http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=27446 The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Fri, 24 May 2013 07:06:13 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=27446#post-76603 Wed, 13 Jul 2011 08:53:37 +0000 FraserWords 76603@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>My friend Captain Kay (no, really, he is my friend, 80 now) offers this:<br /> I recall we were going through the “show me yours and I’ll show you mine” period of our short romance. I was to show mine first. She was chewing on a raw carrot (a war time treat) as she gazed at my private region with a look of bored indifference on her face.<br /> Then came the moment which would affect my sex life for ever. As I gingerly levered out the nub of the matter with forefinger and thumb, Irene spat out a mouthful of carrot, pointed and exclaimed laughingly “What do you call that dinky thing?”, then ran off leaving only a trail of chewed carrot and my young life in tatters.<br /> The psychological effect of that experience was that as I grew taller and older my equipment remained that of a ten year old.<br /> Well, here comes my nurse holding a warm sponge and chewing what looks like a carrot. One can but dream. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=27446#post-76534 Tue, 12 Jul 2011 15:44:15 +0000 Sinnick 76534@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>In reply to rikkor's original question, I think can say, without doubt, blogging here. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=27446#post-76409 Mon, 11 Jul 2011 20:05:24 +0000 Danny 76409@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Would that student bar be on the Wirral Ironduke? There are too many similar stories from that place... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=27446#post-76291 Sun, 10 Jul 2011 14:20:10 +0000 Ironduke 76291@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>When I said your missus had gone down on me, that wasn't quite what I meant. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=27446#post-76286 Sun, 10 Jul 2011 13:21:48 +0000 doggone 76286@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>or deflated. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=27446#post-76284 Sun, 10 Jul 2011 13:07:10 +0000 Ironduke 76284@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>That's funny, she was delighted at 12.15am. And at 1.30am. As for 2.15am, she was tired but ecstatic.</p> <p>Perhaps she was a little dehydrated by 3am? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=27446#post-76282 Sun, 10 Jul 2011 13:02:30 +0000 doggone 76282@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Mine was 3.00AM this morning,I was impressed with it,her indoors was not. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=27446#post-75978 Thu, 07 Jul 2011 20:44:02 +0000 Quaz 75978@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Never sell out for inferior biscuits. If only I could tell my younger self that, then the whole debacle with the University women's volleyball team and the Tesco value Bourbons would never have happened. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=27446#post-75943 Thu, 07 Jul 2011 19:13:26 +0000 Mr Payne 75943@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Quaz, she wasn't willing to buy, but you still blew her out? God she's a siren, that one. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=27446#post-75795 Thu, 07 Jul 2011 01:13:54 +0000 Quaz 75795@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I was in the writers' room where firm breasted lesbian sugartits69 was offering hot bi-lesbosexial sex to middle aged men, but she wasn't willing to buy in quality biscuits so I blew her out. I have perfectly good biscuits at home, where I can watch 'Cash in the atic' on the sofa. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=27446#post-75789 Wed, 06 Jul 2011 23:31:10 +0000 rikkor 75789@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>ID, I wonder if she was the same desperate, nearsighted foreign slattern that Mr. Payne was going on about? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=27446#post-75767 Wed, 06 Jul 2011 21:22:37 +0000 Ironduke 75767@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I was once in a student bar with a group and asked if I wanted to pop outside to talk by a drop dead gorgeous brunette, far out of my league. I replied, a little puzzled, that we could talk perfectly well with everyone here in the group.</p> <p>She subsequently shagged my rather shorter housemate on our stairs.</p> <p>How I wish I could pop back and have a little word of advice with myself... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=27446#post-75759 Wed, 06 Jul 2011 20:29:50 +0000 Mr Payne 75759@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Perhaps I may be so honest as to point out that in my early youth I was given the opportunity of my dreams, handed to me on a plate, signposted in glorious technicolour, written out in triplicate etc etc to go and experience things that would probably have changed my entire view of the world forever with a little strumpet on a French campsite. I bottled it through inexperience and raw, brutal fear. Excuse me, I need to be alone..... Oh. I am. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=27446#post-75749 Wed, 06 Jul 2011 19:49:32 +0000 Ironduke 75749@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>He was told not to talk with his mouth full. Or even half full. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=27446#post-75738 Wed, 06 Jul 2011 19:25:25 +0000 rikkor 75738@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Al, that's disappointing. You never complained before. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=27446#post-75697 Wed, 06 Jul 2011 15:32:14 +0000 Al OPecia 75697@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>the one I had with you Rik. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=27446#post-75661 Wed, 06 Jul 2011 13:18:53 +0000 Dick Everyman 75661@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I think it was when my very first web cam froze... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=27446#post-75657 Wed, 06 Jul 2011 13:05:12 +0000 pere floza 75657@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>odd you should say that, as having my leg pulled was my least impressive sexual encounter </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=27446#post-75652 Wed, 06 Jul 2011 12:50:53 +0000 rikkor 75652@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Whoever said that you need a sense of humor on this site was pulling your leg. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=27446#post-75649 Wed, 06 Jul 2011 12:30:53 +0000 iRonA 75649@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Oddly enough my least impressive sexual encounter was with so-and-so who I met in the street 30 years ago. It was in fact very dirty but that was in part caused by the state of the street which hadn't been cleaned for some time. I think there may have been a bin men's strike or something, or perhaps it is always like that in Huddersfield. Anyway sir, I don't know you but I am told that you need a sense of humour to survive on this site, so what are you doing here if I may ask? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=27446#post-75614 Wed, 06 Jul 2011 10:37:37 +0000 JohnA 75614@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Rikkor has heard that the NOTW is recruiting... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=27446#post-75593 Wed, 06 Jul 2011 08:20:42 +0000 Golgo13 75593@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Excellent. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=27446#post-75583 Wed, 06 Jul 2011 07:54:37 +0000 Vertically Challenged Giant 75583@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Love it Rikkor, if I could give it stars I would.</p> <p>I'll kick things off:</p> <p>A recent trip to New York took a turn for the worse, one thing led to another and I ended up having a brief stay in Rikers Island. I won't go into details of why, let's just say I made some bad decisions. Anyway, while I was there I saw former head of the IMF Dominique Strauss Kahn get bummed in the showers.</p> <p>Not strictly a sexual experience for me, but thought I'd mention it as it kind of falls into the celebrity encounter category too. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=27446#post-75570 Tue, 05 Jul 2011 23:04:32 +0000 rikkor 75570@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>No more I met so-and-so on the street 30 years ago. I want the dirt. </p>