http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=27101 The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Tue, 21 May 2013 06:23:37 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=27101#post-96676 Fri, 18 Nov 2011 13:40:55 +0000 kimllfixit 96676@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Smiley face. Five. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=27101#post-96670 Fri, 18 Nov 2011 13:17:43 +0000 Clarky 96670@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Is this blasphemous? I do hope so. Five. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=27101#post-96667 Fri, 18 Nov 2011 13:07:05 +0000 vertical 96667@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>unusual &amp; funny right to the last line.<br /> worthy contender for exorcising predictably promoted lesser offerings </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=27101#post-74583 Tue, 28 Jun 2011 20:48:13 +0000 JohnA 74583@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Dammit Ludicity I hate you. 5* </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=27101#post-74580 Tue, 28 Jun 2011 20:23:32 +0000 OllieP 74580@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Very good indeed. Your mug is in the post. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=27101#post-74551 Tue, 28 Jun 2011 16:53:04 +0000 Ludicity 74551@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Bless you. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=27101#post-74511 Tue, 28 Jun 2011 12:35:44 +0000 Dick Justice 74511@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Jesus, this article trashes competition. 5 stars. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=27101#post-74508 Tue, 28 Jun 2011 12:15:36 +0000 Vertically Challenged Giant 74508@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Very good. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=27101#post-74507 Tue, 28 Jun 2011 12:14:24 +0000 Rizzo 74507@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Very funny Mr L </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=27101#post-74493 Tue, 28 Jun 2011 11:15:45 +0000 Sinnick 74493@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>5* </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=27101#post-74492 Tue, 28 Jun 2011 10:39:25 +0000 writinginbsl 74492@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Loved it . Very funny.<br /> When combined with a stopwatch and a whistle, it could also include exercism. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=27101#post-74490 Tue, 28 Jun 2011 10:17:08 +0000 saltire 74490@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>One of your best Ludo. 5* </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=27101#post-74489 Tue, 28 Jun 2011 10:15:44 +0000 Golgo13 74489@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Excellent. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=27101#post-74487 Tue, 28 Jun 2011 09:59:43 +0000 Basil_B 74487@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Endorsed by celebrity priest actor Max Von Sydow 'if only me and Jason Miller had one of these in 1973, we might well have survived the film'</p> <p>Top stuff Ludo. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=27101#post-74485 Tue, 28 Jun 2011 09:40:20 +0000 Ludicity 74485@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Pope Benedict XVI has given his seal of approval for a special self-exorcism kit that members of the general public can use to tackle their own personal demons. </p> <p>The kit, comprising of bell, book and candle, plus a special phial of holy water blessed by the Pope himself, will be available from the Vatican home shopping channel, QVC, Quality Value Catholicism.</p> <p>‘The Home Exorcism Kit is a real blessing to those people who are possessed by demons but don’t possess the time to deal with them,’ said Vatican chief exorcist, Father Gabriele Amorth. ‘Now people can exorcise from the comfort of their own home, and without having to wait ages for a priest to arrive.’</p> <p>The launch of the kit is seen as a response to a rising number of possessions that are putting Vatican emergency services under strain. </p> <p>‘Satan has been very busy recently,’ said Father Amorth. ‘As exorcists we’re completely rushed off our feet, and sometimes thrown backwards and pinned against the wall too. The Home Exorcism Kit is the solution. And at only €666 it’s a small price to pay for a cleansed soul. Money back guarantee if not completely exorcised.’ </p> <p>Father Amorth dismissed accusations that the church was cynically making money from people’s misery and distress saying only, ‘If anyone can, Vatican.’</p> <p>The Home Exorcism Kit includes a special dispensation from the Pope allowing people to perform their very own exorcisms, on themselves, troublesome members of their family or anyone they meet in the street and who looks a bit funny. For an added sense of atmosphere the deluxe edition comes with a tiny fog generating machine and a Tubular Bells CD.</p> <p>‘Some people may be uncertain if they have become impregnated with the demonic spore of Satan,’ said Father Amorth, ‘but now they can check for themselves using our new Possession Testing Kit. It’s very easy to use: simply rotate your head 360 degrees and vomit onto the chemical testing strip. If it goes red you are possessed by the devil; if it goes blue you probably just ate some bean sprouts.’ </p> <p>Speaking to crowds at St Peter’s Square Pope Benedict proudly showed off the new product. ‘Everyone should buy a Home Exorcism Kit,’ he declared. ‘Order now, while stocks last. It will be one possession you’ll be glad to have.’ </p>