http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=26732 The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Wed, 19 Jun 2013 21:59:00 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=26732#post-73303 Tue, 21 Jun 2011 12:30:48 +0000 saltire 73303@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>'We are the Consultants...The Consultants of Kings'</p> <p>Bottle of whisky please...oh and a new set of lies while your're at it. Ta. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=26732#post-73296 Tue, 21 Jun 2011 12:01:14 +0000 Golgo13 73296@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Is that a Dire Straits quote you tried to sneak in there, saltire? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=26732#post-73294 Tue, 21 Jun 2011 11:58:41 +0000 FraserWords 73294@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I've got a Toyota. It's very dull. Pint of Guinness, please. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=26732#post-73292 Tue, 21 Jun 2011 11:49:33 +0000 Des Custard 73292@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>No Kia salesman sells mobile phones. Why's that then? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=26732#post-73280 Tue, 21 Jun 2011 10:35:24 +0000 John Wiltshire 73280@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>So let's see if I've got this right - it's a play on words because Kia is slang for semen? Oh yes, very good!! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=26732#post-73277 Tue, 21 Jun 2011 10:31:11 +0000 rickwestwell 73277@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Sorry - bit late to this. What's this joke all about then? Not sure I get it.<br /> I'll be in the snug if anyone's buying. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=26732#post-73276 Tue, 21 Jun 2011 10:22:19 +0000 The All New Jeni B 73276@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Woah!<br /> Wally, take this paper bag and breath deeply into it, in, out, in, out that's it.</p> <p>It's ok, I know these revelations can give you a bit of a head-rush, so don't try to stand too quickly.</p> <p>How do you feel now? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=26732#post-73274 Tue, 21 Jun 2011 10:18:25 +0000 wallster 73274@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Oh hell's tits; you're right. I hadn't even considered his feelings. How's he ever going to be able to face the long, dark of the Box tunnel ever again? God, I can be a heartless bastard sometimes. I'm so sorry everyone, really I am, I feel dreadful now.</p> <p>Salty, thanks for helping me see the error of my ways. Thanks to you I will be a better joke writer, I'll talk of spring and daisies and fresh bright summer mornings. No more will I poke fun at the automotive retailer, never again will I impose the sordid insinuations of a salacious affair between a man and a mid sized family saloon.</p> <p>I'm free I tell you...FREE! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=26732#post-73270 Tue, 21 Jun 2011 10:03:32 +0000 saltire 73270@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Tragic.What about the train-driver ? Any news on him ? In a state of shock probably.Nobody ever thinks about the driver in these situations.Scarred for life..no compensation.. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=26732#post-73264 Tue, 21 Jun 2011 09:43:00 +0000 wallster 73264@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Thanks Scitech77 you very sensible and discerning person you.</p> <p>And Jeni, it's ok, all Kia related jokes are covered by a 7 year manufacturer's warranty which covers me in the event of patronisingly awarded stars.</p> <p>And as for the gentleman in question, Salty, he did lose his court case, and his job with the reasonably priced Korean motor retailer, and his dog and his kids, but in the end he learned to laugh about it all; just before he was smeared across the windscreen of the 8:32 Paddington to Bristol express just outside Swindon. Such a senseless waste. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=26732#post-73262 Tue, 21 Jun 2011 09:37:09 +0000 saltire 73262@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>So what happens if the guy loses the court case ? Does that mean that he loses his house ? Will he have to pay child support ? All because of a misunderstanding ? Doesn't seem funny to me Wally,doesn't seem right at all. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=26732#post-73259 Tue, 21 Jun 2011 09:30:08 +0000 The All New Jeni B 73259@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>That went horribly, horribly wrong for you Wallster, didn't it?<br /> A bit like the car really.</p> <p>I'd love to award you stars for effort, but it'd be a little patronising.</p> <p>I'll buy you a drink though, so ch'n up. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=26732#post-73257 Tue, 21 Jun 2011 09:26:12 +0000 Scitech77 73257@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Wallster, very clever, much better than the car, so sorry you had to explain it...... It made perfect sense. 5 from me. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=26732#post-73232 Tue, 21 Jun 2011 07:25:39 +0000 wallster 73232@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>No. Fuck off. Oh, alright. It's a play on words, see? The premis is that the trader in quality, yet budget priced Korean automobiles is believed to be having an extra marital affair of which his wife has become aware. She has since initiated divorce proceedings which he is in the process of contesting. The joke hinges around the name of one of the aforementioned Korean vehicles, the Kia Cee'd bearing a similar sound to the word 'seed', which for the purposes of the joke represents his semen, which it is implied he is 'spreading around' by allegedly shooting his load into his mistress. So really, the wife has the wrong end of the stick, the poor motor trader is in trouble for merely doing his job of work, and we all get to have a jolly good laugh at the farcical mix up.</p> <p>All seemed to make sense at the time. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=26732#post-73231 Tue, 21 Jun 2011 07:23:58 +0000 saltire 73231@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I don't get this.Please explain..and it had better be good. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=26732#post-73230 Tue, 21 Jun 2011 07:18:57 +0000 wallster 73230@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>. </p>