http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=26468 The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Thu, 20 Jun 2013 09:23:50 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=26468#post-72941 Sat, 18 Jun 2011 21:23:26 +0000 BillyBitzer 72941@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Thanks for your concern. I'll send you a copy of the highway code if you forward me your address. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=26468#post-72932 Sat, 18 Jun 2011 19:24:59 +0000 Vertically Challenged Giant 72932@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Billy, congratulations on not riding like a twat, you could be a poster boy for this campaign.</p> <p>Glad to hear that you emerged unscathed from your unfortunate encounter with one of the quite frightening number of complete and utter fuckwits who hold a driving licence in this country. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=26468#post-72928 Sat, 18 Jun 2011 18:02:06 +0000 Mr Payne 72928@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Yeah, sorry about that, Billy. I'd had a few in the local and was rushing home for red hot sex with firm breasted soapy lesbians. My mind wasn't thinking about your kind of bike. Ah well, no harm done, eh? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=26468#post-72916 Sat, 18 Jun 2011 15:27:02 +0000 bonjonelson 72916@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I have the greatest of respect for bikers. If it wasn't for them, I'd never get a warm Pizza </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=26468#post-72912 Sat, 18 Jun 2011 14:40:23 +0000 Golgo13 72912@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Uh-oh. This is like Asdagate. Is it jp on NiBs?</p> <p>My grandad smoked 40 a day, and he lived to be 89, so I don't know what all the fuss is about. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=26468#post-72905 Sat, 18 Jun 2011 14:11:49 +0000 be reasonable 72905@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>THere's a well known psychological phenomenon called the 'looked but failed to see' accident, wherein a motorist has driven into the back of a stationary car, including police cars - with all warning lights flashing! (22 of them in one year, apparently). That's why police cars will now park at an angle across the carriageway if they have to stop on a motorway; it confounds the motorists' expectation that a car on a motorway 'must' be moving. Also, given that as many as 15% of motorists have uncorrected defective vision, it's a wonder that more people are not killed. Have a nice weekend.☺ </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=26468#post-72904 Sat, 18 Jun 2011 14:01:01 +0000 BillyBitzer 72904@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p><blockquote>#Edit - Just discovered that they might actually be allowed to use bus lanes. Every day's a school day. </blockquote>I don't ride a bike any more - too many twats driving cars that don't know the highway code.</p> <p>Perhaps they should just make "Sorry, I didn't see you" a valid defence in cases of manslaughter.</p> <p>It's been said to me after I've had to do an emergency stop, while obeying the speed limit, on a motorcycle on a dead straight road, <strong>with my headlight on main beam and wearing fucking florescent jacket</strong> after some twat pulled out right in front of me.</p> <p>If I had been 17 and going a bit faster (like all the cars) I would have been dead. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=26468#post-72770 Fri, 17 Jun 2011 09:55:11 +0000 Vertically Challenged Giant 72770@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I think that would work better than my story.</p> <p>I'm always tempted to try to expand ideas into a full story when they don't necessarily need it or warrant it. Like my royal mail one, which was originally a one-liner, then I decided to expand it. It's now on the ticker as the one-liner that it should perhaps have stayed as. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=26468#post-72746 Fri, 17 Jun 2011 08:20:55 +0000 Golgo13 72746@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Do you think Red could do some mock awareness ads for this?</p> <p>Nothing too elaborate - maybe just a slide show with some slow panning in on stills that illustrate a bike , then a car pulling out, then the bike being hit by the car, then the ambulance, the hospital etc etc, finishing with the bold white text strap-line on black and, say, Brian Blessed or Peter Dickson saying "Bikers! Don't ride like twats!"</p> <p>And Rikkor's idea of a rectangle of light with soil falling down and a voice suddenly realising that he's dead or something in a car crash...</p> <p>Not all good ideas need to be shoe-horned into 300 to 400 word news articles... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=26468#post-72553 Thu, 16 Jun 2011 07:40:17 +0000 JonnyJP 72553@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Can't believe I misse a Young Ones quote! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=26468#post-72357 Wed, 15 Jun 2011 08:04:57 +0000 Vertically Challenged Giant 72357@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I was undertaken by a biker riding in a bus lane this morning, who then cut back into a busy lane of traffic further up the road. Quite fitting really having written this yesterday.</p> <p>#Edit - Just discovered that they might actually be allowed to use bus lanes. Every day's a school day. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=26468#post-72290 Tue, 14 Jun 2011 19:01:19 +0000 button 72290@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>"...lets assume this cling film parcel of mashed banana and jam is a deaf old age pensioner who's in a wheelchair, and blind. And this cricket bat with a breezeblock nailed to it is your car. Now what happens if your car mounts the pavement?"</p> <p>5 stars by the way VCG, ***** </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=26468#post-72275 Tue, 14 Jun 2011 17:25:46 +0000 JohnA 72275@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>...or "Latest MotorCycle Safety Campaign a complete failure - say MPs" followed by "Transplant Organs so plentiful everyone can have two!" </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=26468#post-72265 Tue, 14 Jun 2011 16:11:32 +0000 pere floza 72265@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>on the other hand ..... "biker safety campaign complete success - NHS in organ donor crisis" </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=26468#post-72262 Tue, 14 Jun 2011 15:30:36 +0000 OllieP 72262@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Hey charlies_hat. I believe you are referring to a classic Young Ones scene involving a cricket bat, a brick and a clingfilm parcel containing mashed bananas and jam. To those who haven't seen it I won't try to explain. Just know it was very funny but also contained sage advice about road safety that has informed my behaviour ever since. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=26468#post-72261 Tue, 14 Jun 2011 15:27:56 +0000 Golgo13 72261@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>...) </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=26468#post-72260 Tue, 14 Jun 2011 15:26:02 +0000 Maizydog 72260@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Don't get me started on motorcyclists. I had to knock one off only today after he tried to cut me up. He won't be doing that again. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=26468#post-72259 Tue, 14 Jun 2011 15:22:20 +0000 Dick Everyman 72259@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Like the bikers I'm seeing stars ***** </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=26468#post-72253 Tue, 14 Jun 2011 15:10:36 +0000 JohnA 72253@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I like bike. 5* </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=26468#post-72247 Tue, 14 Jun 2011 14:27:57 +0000 Ostsee 72247@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Ever driven on a German Autobahn? Substitute 'Audi' for 'bike'. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=26468#post-72242 Tue, 14 Jun 2011 14:01:39 +0000 Golgo13 72242@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I agree. Can I finish your ad with this final line?:</p> <p>"Gee...I sure wish I hadna ridden like a twat." </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=26468#post-72241 Tue, 14 Jun 2011 13:48:00 +0000 rikkor 72241@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Stop throwing dirt on my face, I'm only seventeen.<br /> Hey! Am I dead or something from a car crash?</p> <p>Much better than Golgo's. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=26468#post-72240 Tue, 14 Jun 2011 13:47:21 +0000 JonnyJP 72240@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Should definitely be extended to cyclists.</p> <p>I remember at sixth form there was a poster encouraging cyclists to use their lights at night because it isn't possible to identify a cyclist without lights.</p> <p>There were too pictures on the poster, one was a black silouette on a dark blue sky that had 'tree' written underneath it. The other was that same black silouette on a dark blue sky but with a bright light in the middle that had 'cyclist' written underneath.</p> <p>My mate commented that if he was driving a car at night and saw a 'tree' in the middle of the road, he would generally try to avoid it. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=26468#post-72239 Tue, 14 Jun 2011 13:35:00 +0000 Vertically Challenged Giant 72239@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Dammit Golgo! With 20 words you've created a visualisation that is funnier than my sub.</p> <p>Git.</p> <p>5* for your comment, but unfortunately you can't give stars to comments so I'll have to give them to my post instead. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=26468#post-72237 Tue, 14 Jun 2011 13:33:25 +0000 charlies_hat 72237@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Rememebr this?<br /> Think once<br /> Think twice<br /> Think - don't drive your car on the pavement! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=26468#post-72234 Tue, 14 Jun 2011 13:30:50 +0000 Golgo13 72234@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Crash<br /> Sirens<br /> Ambulance ride<br /> Hospital<br /> Doctor shakes his head<br /> Family sob<br /> Funeral in the rain.</p> <p>Bikers. Don't ride like twats. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=26468#post-72231 Tue, 14 Jun 2011 13:24:06 +0000 simonjmr 72231@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>They should extend it to Cyclists: Don't be a twat too a red light means stop for you too. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=26468#post-72227 Tue, 14 Jun 2011 13:20:23 +0000 waylandsmithy 72227@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Two ton-up thumbs up! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=26468#post-72225 Tue, 14 Jun 2011 13:08:36 +0000 Vertically Challenged Giant 72225@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>The Department for Transport is hoping that their ongoing attempts to make Britain’s roads a safer place for motorcyclists may finally pay off thanks to their latest adverts.</p> <p>Prompted by statistics that motorbikes make up only 1% of traffic, but account for 21% of deaths on British roads, the DfT decided that they had to act to stop other road users from carelessly endangering the lives of those who choose to go hurtling along at breakneck speeds, protected only by a helmet and leather clothing.</p> <p>The battle first started with the ‘Think! Take extra time to look for bikes’ campaign, in which car drivers were encouraged to adapt the way they drive and constantly be aware that there may be a motorbike coming round the corner, on the wrong side of the road, at 80mph in a residential area. However, even with the help of a TV advert which seemed to suggest that the viewer hadn’t seen the oncoming bike at first glance, despite there quite clearly being no bike in the picture, the results were disappointing.</p> <p>‘What didn’t help was that Top Gear had this character called the Stig’ said Secretary of State for Transport Philip Hammond, ‘The show hammered home the impression that anybody in a crash helmet was a pseudo-comedic, nameless, faceless, robot-like creature devoid of human emotions and feelings. We had to try to undo this impression with our ‘Think bike, think biker’ campaign, to reassure people that behind the darkened visor of the biker that has just cut in front of you at 120mph is a real flesh and blood person, just like you and me, and it’s just that they’re in a hurry.’</p> <p>When this again failed to noticeably impact on the fact that bikers are 50 times more likely to be killed or seriously injured in an accident than car drivers the DfT decided to change approach.</p> <p>‘We decided that we needed to do something new’ continued Mr Hammond ‘Perhaps other road users weren’t entirely to blame, perhaps bikers needed to take a share of the responsibility. That’s where the idea for the ‘Think! Bikers, don’t ride like a twat!’ adverts came from.’</p> <p>The new adverts are aimed at pointing out to riders, that with little or nothing to prevent them from being seriously injured or killed in the event of an accident, it might not be such a good idea to be undertaking people at 95mph in a 50 limit, or attempting to overtake at 110 on a single carriageway road with oncoming traffic.</p> <p>The adverts were launched last month, and so far haven’t made a bit of difference. </p>