http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=26259 The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Wed, 19 Jun 2013 09:32:21 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=26259#post-71680 Fri, 10 Jun 2011 11:46:55 +0000 Ludicity 71680@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Thanks people. 1000 bonus Nectar points to everyone. </p> <p>PS. Sorry VCG, I will really try to fit in a bit of bumming for you next time. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=26259#post-71536 Thu, 09 Jun 2011 12:44:06 +0000 Vertically Challenged Giant 71536@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Another story including prisons but without any mention of somebody getting bummed. What's going on? The world's gone mad.</p> <p>5* anyway. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=26259#post-71531 Thu, 09 Jun 2011 12:25:16 +0000 Qoxiivi 71531@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Would grassing on a fellow prisoner constitute a disloyalty scheme? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=26259#post-71529 Thu, 09 Jun 2011 12:15:23 +0000 waylandsmithy 71529@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Very good! Maybe add something about convicted MPs fiddling their loyalty points? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=26259#post-71527 Thu, 09 Jun 2011 12:04:27 +0000 Smaug 71527@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>5* - I like it! "We're all in this cell together." </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=26259#post-71521 Thu, 09 Jun 2011 11:25:18 +0000 DiY 71521@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Brilliant! Wouldn't at all be surprised if Lord Ken of Hush Puppies gives it a try! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=26259#post-71517 Thu, 09 Jun 2011 11:09:02 +0000 Qoxiivi 71517@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Well, there goes any FP hopes I was loosely hanging on my <a href="http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=26231">pensioner</a> submission.</p> <p>Quite simply superb.</p> <p>Arsehole... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=26259#post-71515 Thu, 09 Jun 2011 11:00:40 +0000 Ludicity 71515@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Justice Secretary Ken Clarke has announced that plans to reduce prison sentences by up to 50% will be abandoned in favour of a new system of HMP Nectar points. </p> <p>Under the scheme those who immediately plead guilty to their crime will be issued with 1000 introductory points that they can use to buy fags, phone credit or pornography. Alternatively they can save and collect their points for bigger treats such as a set of glass tumblers or a day trip to Legoland. </p> <p>‘The Nectar points scheme represents a major re-think in sentencing policy,’ explained Mr Clarke. ‘Previously I was trying to reduce the number of prisoners, but following a chat with David Cameron I now understand that government policy is to get as many of them through the doors as possible. A loyalty card scheme is the best way of achieving that.’</p> <p>Existing prisoners will also get Nectar cards, with 500 points for good behaviour, 1000 points for grassing up a mate and a whopping 3000 points for confessing to a string of crimes that they didn’t commit.</p> <p>However, the scheme is already facing harsh criticism. ‘Prisoner Nectar points sounds like a good idea,’ said Juliet Lyon, Director of the Prison Reform Trust, ‘but the end result will be higher re-offending rates as newly released prisoners simply go out and commit more crimes in order to get enough points for a six-month subscription to Golf Monthly Magazine.’</p> <p>Early problems with the scheme have already emerged with prisoners already trading in contraband loyalty cards, many of them doubling up with Tesco Club Card points. Meanwhile, white-collar criminals are refusing to participate altogether and are getting their deliveries smuggled in by Ocado. </p> <p>The government also faces calls for a full-scale public inquiry after one group of prisoners secretly stockpiled their Nectar points and tried to escape by converting them into an easyJet flight to Alicante.</p> <p>‘Like all new policies there will be some teething troubles,’ said Mr Clarke, ‘but the great thing about this scheme is that it rewards loyalty. Even if a few prisoners do escape they will always come back, if only to redeem their points.’ </p>