http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=25868 The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Thu, 23 May 2013 03:54:28 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=25868#post-71966 Mon, 13 Jun 2011 04:58:33 +0000 Jeremy Hunt 71966@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Hello sharon.I'm Jeremy Hunt.Welcome to Newsbiscuit.Check out today's FP why don't you ? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=25868#post-71965 Mon, 13 Jun 2011 03:46:27 +0000 sharonbaker 71965@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Hey all,</p> <p>I am new to here. First i would like to say hi to every member of this forum site... I would like to visit again... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=25868#post-71951 Sun, 12 Jun 2011 20:26:19 +0000 allmyownstunts 71951@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>of course </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=25868#post-71948 Sun, 12 Jun 2011 20:24:07 +0000 Re Pete 71948@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Thanks for putting this on the front page. Fantastic! Do you think it'll help me get dates if I start showing it to women? ;) </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=25868#post-71664 Fri, 10 Jun 2011 10:19:19 +0000 Oxbridge 71664@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Not dead? Look my lad, it's a stiff. Bereft of life, it lies in peace. It is an EX-STORY. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=25868#post-71481 Thu, 09 Jun 2011 08:12:35 +0000 Re Pete 71481@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Ta! That story's not dead, just resting. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=25868#post-71433 Wed, 08 Jun 2011 20:56:13 +0000 Oxbridge 71433@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Damn you sir, I've been working on a 'Women still too easily seduced by Monty Python quotations' story for weeks. Still, nice one centurion, like it... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=25868#post-70686 Thu, 02 Jun 2011 20:06:37 +0000 greg various 70686@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Sorry dog, I didn't mean to impugn your pedigree, chum.<br /> Oh God! I'm talking to a dog on a website. Has it really come to this? Where can I find a good Brain Entrainment Consultant? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=25868#post-70662 Thu, 02 Jun 2011 16:05:13 +0000 Screenie 70662@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>'The wizzened of oz' </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=25868#post-70660 Thu, 02 Jun 2011 15:59:38 +0000 be reasonable 70660@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>"have you seen 'the wizzened size of my genitalia?'"<br /> Is that a film about steroid abuse in body-building? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=25868#post-70613 Thu, 02 Jun 2011 13:06:39 +0000 Qoxiivi 70613@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Top sub. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=25868#post-70610 Thu, 02 Jun 2011 13:05:18 +0000 rikkor 70610@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Rikkor is as pure Aryan as they come. He is no mutt. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=25868#post-70609 Thu, 02 Jun 2011 13:03:56 +0000 Re Pete 70609@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Thank you my fellow lonely embittered and "physically challenged" men who can't get dates.<br /> (Whaddaya mean that's just me?!) </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=25868#post-70586 Thu, 02 Jun 2011 11:48:28 +0000 charlies_hat 70586@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>last two para's made me laugh out loud - 5*+ </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=25868#post-70572 Thu, 02 Jun 2011 10:49:36 +0000 greg various 70572@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I'd like to say I find this funny but I don't want to agree with a mutt with its tongue hanging out. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=25868#post-70514 Wed, 01 Jun 2011 21:14:48 +0000 rikkor 70514@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Cinq. Vy. funny. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=25868#post-70481 Wed, 01 Jun 2011 16:26:17 +0000 Ironduke 70481@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>'surely a sizeable discount is appropriate...have you seen the wizzened size of my genitalia?' </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=25868#post-70416 Wed, 01 Jun 2011 11:14:53 +0000 pinxit 70416@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Ouch. Like it. **** </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=25868#post-70371 Wed, 01 Jun 2011 08:53:39 +0000 John Wiltshire 70371@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Not even if the ones you pay laugh? It must be my sense of humour they laugh at... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=25868#post-70367 Wed, 01 Jun 2011 08:44:15 +0000 Re Pete 70367@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Thanks matey. It doesn't count if you pay them though. Or so I hear. ;P </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=25868#post-70365 Wed, 01 Jun 2011 08:39:48 +0000 Ironduke 70365@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Lovely work.</p> <p>On a technicality, I will have to reduce your ten star award by half though- if you look around this site, you will see many, many examples of sad, ugly repellent individuals with a 'GSOH' the only thing they have going for them....and some of us have actually managed to achieve full coitus with the opposite sex! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=25868#post-70363 Wed, 01 Jun 2011 08:30:44 +0000 Re Pete 70363@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Experts were trumpeting a major breakthrough in modern dating after Suzanne Roberts, a single woman from Nottingham, met and fell for a man she conceded was "not conventionally attractive", but did possess a great sense of humour. Roberts’ recent infatuation occurred soon after the pretty but disillusioned 28-year-old brunette signed up for online dating, and is thought to be the first time the theory that women prioritise a GSOH in finding a life partner has been discovered to work in practice. </p> <p>The couple got together when the matchmaking website, based on the Suzanne’s key search criteria of a good sense of humour and caring nature, paired her with Alan Stevens, a 34-year-old man with "an encyclopaedic knowledge of Monty Python" who also works part-time in the local Sue Ryder shop as a condition of his receiving Jobseeker’s Allowance benefits. The moment they met, said Suzanne, "was like a dream come true". </p> <p>The pair agreed to date after a string of emails in which Alan wooed the successful doctor with lengthy verbatim extracts from the films The Meaning of Life, The Life of Brian, and on one notable and spontaneous occasion, The Jabberwocky. Then, prior to an afternoon matinee date to see cult movie the Time Bandits, the couple instantly hit it off, sharing stories of the challenges of introducing modern surgical techniques in an underfunded NHS, and agreeing it was unreasonable of Alan’s mother to charge him quite so much rent for living in the bedroom that has been rightfully his for the past three decades.</p> <p>Suzanne was also struck that there was more to Alan than a razor-sharp wit, "I knew he was a real joker, but he does have a serious side," she explained. "For example it turns out he wasn’t kidding in his emails about fitting children's clothes, having two lazy eyes and a hump, but I absolutely don’t mind. Between you and me, he could easily have laughed me into bed halfway through his ten minute monologue about the old Pearl &amp; Dean music."</p> <p>Suzanne confided to close friends that Alan might be ‘the one’, and had been eagerly awaiting their next date, at an upcoming sci-fi convention Alan had mentioned he was keen to attend to show off his home-made Red Dwarf costume. </p> <p>Immediately before the event her hopes were shattered however, when Alan stopped responding to texts and emails. The reason for his loss of interest in what was his first ever recorded date are unclear, although he was observed to comment in an online Terry Pratchett chat forum that "her tits weren’t big enough". </p>