http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=25384 The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Thu, 23 May 2013 02:51:28 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=25384#post-69312 Tue, 24 May 2011 13:07:58 +0000 rikkor 69312@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Lob! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=25384#post-69294 Tue, 24 May 2011 11:31:51 +0000 Nemo 69294@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Good stuff, thanks! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=25384#post-69291 Tue, 24 May 2011 11:11:45 +0000 Basil_B 69291@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>5 staaaraaars, googgllgolgo myyy ole muckeer </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=25384#post-69260 Tue, 24 May 2011 05:31:25 +0000 Golgo13 69260@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Many thanks. </p> <p>My feeling is that (if it works at all) it would work best as a Sunday FP. That was the thought anyway. I submitted it very late on Friday night/Saturday morning, but the editors may have already lined up the weekend FPs. Also, the Saturday FP, though very different, had a protest march theme, so perhaps that was also a factor in not using it on the target day. </p> <p>And I thought the ending was a bit weak...</p> <p>Maybe the editors will consider it for a future weekend if there are no major news stories that beg lampooning. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=25384#post-69254 Mon, 23 May 2011 23:27:30 +0000 antharrison 69254@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>bring this one to fp </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=25384#post-69078 Sun, 22 May 2011 14:24:54 +0000 rikkor 69078@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>This should be an FP, so I am shamelessly lobbing it to the top again. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=25384#post-69037 Sat, 21 May 2011 18:54:31 +0000 Golgo13 69037@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Cheers. </p> <p>Write what you know. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=25384#post-69034 Sat, 21 May 2011 15:59:51 +0000 Vertically Challenged Giant 69034@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Great stuff </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=25384#post-69033 Sat, 21 May 2011 15:21:04 +0000 Ironduke 69033@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Five Shtars. Hic! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=25384#post-69029 Sat, 21 May 2011 14:35:24 +0000 rikkor 69029@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Do any of those quoted get extra-close to your face when they speak to you? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=25384#post-69025 Sat, 21 May 2011 12:58:08 +0000 The All New Jeni B 69025@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Like it very much.<br /> I'd vote for kebabs on demand. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=25384#post-69022 Sat, 21 May 2011 12:34:15 +0000 be reasonable 69022@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>V. good. 5* </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=25384#post-69020 Sat, 21 May 2011 12:29:11 +0000 rikkor 69020@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Cinq. I think this is great. Should have more positive comments. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=25384#post-68976 Sat, 21 May 2011 00:18:15 +0000 Golgo13 68976@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Thousands of extremely inebriated men and women zig-zagged their way from Trafalgar Square to Downing Street late last night to deliver their hand-written, barely legible charter to the Prime Minister, demanding a fairer deal for tanked-up British citizens. Their demands are thought to include a reduction in the fifty pound tariff for throwing up in a taxi, easier to find kebab shops and more lying down areas in city centres. </p> <p>What started a year ago almost to the day with one drunk man defying a society which told him he couldn’t sick at the front of the night-bus, has grown into a movement that has united the drunk community in a single cause.</p> <p>The Right Reverend Tom Butler, Bishop of Southwark and spiritual leader of the movement, delivered a rousing if slurred version of his "You are my best mates" speech to the swaying mob gathered at the base of Nelson’s Column before leading them staggering in the general direction of Whitehall.</p> <p>‘For ages and ages, drunk people have been discriliminated against, and it's ENOUGH!’ bellowed one shit-faced demonstrator, while another piss-head added, ‘We're not allowed to drive… the police, yeah?... We're not allowed to drive... yeah?... They won't let us drive or operate precision machinery or... it’s all… you get what I'm saying, yeah?... we’re not… we’re not allowed to drive…’</p> <p>The pissed-up protestors back up their case with survey results showing that heavily trashed candidates are less likely to be hired at interview, and that fewer than one in ten publicly listed companies has an openly intoxicated director on their board. Many tell stories of being turned away from libraries, surgical operating rooms and parents’ evenings purely because of their blood-alcohol content.</p> <p>Politicians of all parties, however, point to their record of appointing drunks to the cabinet and the Lords as proof of their promotion of 'people of stupor' in society. </p>