http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=24829 The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Thu, 23 May 2013 06:49:55 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=24829#post-67481 Mon, 09 May 2011 19:04:47 +0000 Qoxiivi 67481@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Cheers rikkor. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=24829#post-67461 Mon, 09 May 2011 16:28:56 +0000 rikkor 67461@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Cinq! I think it's funnier than 90% of subs as is. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=24829#post-67460 Mon, 09 May 2011 16:22:16 +0000 Qoxiivi 67460@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Crap. Have lost the ability to edit now. I'm sure the editors will add it in if the idea makes it onto the website in some capacity; as they did with my Gary Glitter statue one. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=24829#post-67440 Mon, 09 May 2011 14:46:09 +0000 Screenie 67440@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>this is the role Hasselhoff was born to play.</p> <p>Brilliant idea. 5*</p> <p>I reckon the rest of this lot on here should be able to flesh it out a bit, much mileage I'd think. Then again I've only managed the meagre offering below, so we'll see.</p> <p>Additional maybe:</p> <p>Pamela Anderson was also called up to the show, although her character is killed in the first episode in a controlled explosion after fears that she was carrying plastic explosives under her swimsuit. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=24829#post-67421 Mon, 09 May 2011 12:19:56 +0000 Qoxiivi 67421@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Edited - thought it had the legs to be made into an article. Could still be used as a ticker though.</p> <p>Oh, and amends, additions welcome. I actually think there's a lot to be mined out of this idea, just only had the time to do what I did. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=24829#post-67391 Mon, 09 May 2011 09:28:41 +0000 Qoxiivi 67391@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>The pilot for new body-boarding-meets-water-boarding show, Guantanamo Baywatch, has been roundly slammed for a number of simulated drowning scenes in its opening episode.</p> <p>Created to show the lighter side of torture and human rights abuse, the program re-casts David Hasselhoff as a troubled mentor who helps Abu Hamza overcome disability to pursue a career in lifeguarding. In return, his pupil attempts to cure the star’s drinking problem with a sympathetic combination of doctrinal rhetoric and occasional violence.</p> <p>“The show hit snags from day one.” says producer Jerry Baumstein. “To be completely honest, hiring Abu was our first mistake. Literally. Our casting director got entirely the wrong end of the stick when we said the show needed a ‘hook’.”</p> <p>“Things only got worse when he showed up for the first day’s shoot and absolutely refused to get his feet wet. And that’s when we noticed the fuses coming from his shoes. David started drinking quite heavily after that.”</p> <p>Despite its tortured production, the show strikes a dramatic and emotional endnote in Abu Hamza’s final rescue scene, as Baumstein notes:</p> <p>“Spotting a floating body in the distance (well, what he assumes is the distance), Abu gradually, but courageously, swims out to help the victim; only to find, once ashore, that it’s the body of his long-lost spiritual leader. Of course, the guy’s wracked with guilt at not having got there in time, and this is only made worse by the gaping hole where the corpse’s left eye should be... which Hamza can only assume is his fault!”</p> <p>The show's dubious moral fibre has not, however, stopped it becoming a surprise hit in fashion circles, with bright orange burkas and jumpsuits set to become this summer’s must-have beachwear. </p>