http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=22912 The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Thu, 23 May 2013 05:29:17 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=22912#post-65598 Thu, 21 Apr 2011 07:35:56 +0000 arthurminnit 65598@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p><blockquote>I'd advise a name change.</blockquote></p> <p>or implants and a brazilian. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=22912#post-65545 Wed, 20 Apr 2011 13:36:28 +0000 Danny 65545@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I would genuinely be interested in reading the autobiographies of celebrities if it were all their own work with no ghost writers or any input from proof readers... original grammar and spelling so we can get a better insight into what they really like. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=22912#post-62066 Wed, 23 Mar 2011 19:19:58 +0000 Basil_B 62066@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>All very good Danny. Shame it's shot it's bolt as it were as a mere ticker. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=22912#post-62062 Wed, 23 Mar 2011 19:04:37 +0000 Danny 62062@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Have just added this to my original post above:</p> <p>The researchers attempted to relieve the concerns of animal rights activists who were questioning what would happen to the monkeys once the experiment had concluded.</p> <p>"They will defintitely not be without a home. We have had lots of interest from people who need ghost writers for other autobiographies. There are plenty of glamour models and 21 year old footballers who have signed five part book deals and need something to fill the pages. We've even had a former Prime Minister ask to hire one for a while." </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=22912#post-62026 Wed, 23 Mar 2011 16:21:44 +0000 Basil_B 62026@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Glad you stressed Jordan there so we didn't get it confused with John Wiltshire's Cambridge friend </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=22912#post-62021 Wed, 23 Mar 2011 16:13:50 +0000 beau-jolly 62021@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Unfortunately the pictures in Jordan's book caused many of the monkeys to be spanked. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=22912#post-62004 Wed, 23 Mar 2011 15:51:10 +0000 John Wiltshire 62004@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>So it does! There is nothing new under the sun - or indeed, in The Sun. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=22912#post-62002 Wed, 23 Mar 2011 15:50:01 +0000 be reasonable 62002@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>What goes around, comes around:<br /> <a href="http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=12928" rel="nofollow">http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=12928</a> </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=22912#post-61999 Wed, 23 Mar 2011 15:47:35 +0000 Qoxiivi 61999@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p><blockquote>The Cambridge University Katie Price has already thought of that, so to avoid confusion and preserve her anonymity, she's publishing her PhD 'Dark Matter, Hegelian Dialectics and Anthropomorphic Duellism in a Symbiotic Universe' under the name Peter Andre</blockquote></p> <p>Is that Peter Andre the celebrated Dutch anthropologist? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=22912#post-61984 Wed, 23 Mar 2011 15:13:20 +0000 Basil_B 61984@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>'and that Rooney looks too ape-like it would confuse the point of the story somewhat'</p> <p>Aha but the gib of your story would suggest that to be monkey/ape/primate like would be an advantage.</p> <p>Next years booker prize winner= Wayne Rooney with his autobiography titled 'the moon's just like my face' which is geninuely all Waynes own work as all the faeces supplied to write it came from his very own arse. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=22912#post-61978 Wed, 23 Mar 2011 15:00:35 +0000 John Wiltshire 61978@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>The Cambridge University Katie Price has already thought of that, so to avoid confusion and preserve her anonymity, she's publishing her PhD 'Dark Matter, Hegelian Dialectics and Anthropomorphic Duellism in a Symbiotic Universe' under the name Peter Andre. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=22912#post-61977 Wed, 23 Mar 2011 15:00:07 +0000 Danny 61977@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Yes if anyone can think of a better celebrity then let me know... I'm aware that Jade Goody would be too distasteful, and that Rooney looks too ape-like it would confuse the point of the story somewhat! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=22912#post-61976 Wed, 23 Mar 2011 14:57:25 +0000 brownpaperreporter 61976@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>quality - have stars! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=22912#post-61975 Wed, 23 Mar 2011 14:53:20 +0000 Basil_B 61975@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I'd advise a name change. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=22912#post-61972 Wed, 23 Mar 2011 14:50:34 +0000 John Wiltshire 61972@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I'll have you know that Katie Price is a very serious, intelligent woman who has well thought-out views on current affairs, and has read and researched some of the qworld's great philosophers with the aim of contributing a significant work to help us understand our place in the universe.<br /> She works at Cambridge University, and is completely unrelated to the silicone-chested airhead publicity-mad thicko who used to be called Jordan. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=22912#post-61969 Wed, 23 Mar 2011 14:42:27 +0000 Basil_B 61969@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I've heard Price is sueing the monkey for plagerism, even right down to the writing method. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=22912#post-61965 Wed, 23 Mar 2011 14:35:34 +0000 Danny 61965@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Scientists testing the theorem that 1000 monkeys using 1000 typewriters would, given enough time, eventually write the Complete Works of Shakespeare by chance were astounded to discover that one monkey on one typewriter would reproduce Katie Price's autobiography on the first day. </p> <p>They were even more surprised when the experiment was repeated and the results were reproduced on three consecutive occasions using three different monkeys and three different typewriters. "To say we were astounded was an understatement", said the lead researcher. </p> <p>However further investigation revealed that the results were misleading.</p> <p>"It was very embarrassing when we realised the error we had made. One of our lab assistants observed that the monkeys were merely rubbing their faeces onto the paper and not writing Katie Price's autobiography at all. However, in our defence, they were so similar it was a very easy mistake to make. I defy anyone to try and tell the difference."</p> <p>The researchers attempted to relieve the concerns of animal rights activists who were questioning what would happen to the monkeys once the experiment had concluded.</p> <p>"They will defintitely not be without a home. We have had lots of interest from people who need ghost writers for other autobiographies. There are plenty of glamour models and 21 year old footballers who have signed five part book deals and need something to fill the pages. We've even had a former Prime Minister ask to hire one for a while." </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=22912#post-61880 Wed, 23 Mar 2011 09:37:09 +0000 Danny 61880@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>...and it was an improvement on the original book </p>