http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=21406 The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Sat, 18 May 2013 07:25:16 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=21406#post-58015 Fri, 18 Feb 2011 23:15:00 +0000 yamashow 58015@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>You should have taken him to Dognonads, it's the dogs bollocks or was. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=21406#post-58014 Fri, 18 Feb 2011 23:11:27 +0000 The All New Jeni B 58014@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Malgor, that's very sick, but very funny. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=21406#post-58004 Fri, 18 Feb 2011 18:41:20 +0000 malgor 58004@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>"We’d been together for a good 14 months. It was the closest relationship you can imagine - we did everything together and I mean everything. When they say parting is the hardest part, they don’t know the half of it. It’s even worse when you both end up sharing the same intensive care unit like we did. But that was all a VERY long time ago now and we still see a lot of each other. When all’s said and done, we have to agree it was the right choice." Matthew, 15, former conjoined twin. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=21406#post-57997 Fri, 18 Feb 2011 16:25:31 +0000 bonjonelson 57997@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>"My partner got a cat recently, and now it seems I'm no longer important at all, it's all about the cat now. We haven't broken up yet, but the magic has gone." Nick Clegg, 44, Westminster. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=21406#post-57995 Fri, 18 Feb 2011 15:54:25 +0000 riesler 57995@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Had to have the old dog put down last month. That Dignitas place charges a fortune! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=21406#post-57988 Fri, 18 Feb 2011 15:09:43 +0000 beau-jolly 57988@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>@Mary: Ah, the wrath of grapes. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=21406#post-57977 Fri, 18 Feb 2011 14:02:40 +0000 Mary Evans 57977@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Sauvignon and I had words earlier in the week, when we spent rather too much time together on the weekend and I was left feeling dreadful. We've been on a break all week, but I'm anticipating a lively reunion this evening. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=21406#post-57968 Fri, 18 Feb 2011 13:40:40 +0000 beau-jolly 57968@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>"50 ways to leave your lover", sang Paul Simon. Ha! 51 if you get the police to drag the mad bitch away in hand-cuffs. Strange but sadly true. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=21406#post-57963 Fri, 18 Feb 2011 13:23:23 +0000 Doylem 57963@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p><blockquote>She moved up to the Upper 6th and I was promoted to Deputy Head and it sort of fizzled out after that</blockquote></p> <p>Good stuff... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=21406#post-57960 Fri, 18 Feb 2011 13:21:40 +0000 Doylem 57960@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p><blockquote>I hear footsteps</blockquote></p> <p>That's because they're coming to kill you... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=21406#post-57955 Fri, 18 Feb 2011 13:11:03 +0000 Zadok the second 57955@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Central line, between Ealing Broadway and Oxford Circus. You were the attractive blonde in the red bolero jacket. I smiled at you a few times, followed you all the way down to that wine bar and sat two tables away while you ordered a couple of glasses of Sauvignon Blanc and talked about last night's CSI Special Victims with your friend with the frizzy hair and a lisp. I was also in Pizza Express later; I finished off your Veneziana after you'd left. Oh, and my cab nearly ran into the back of yours. You did a double-take the next morning when you stepped over me on your doorstep. Want to meet up tonight? John, Box 256. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=21406#post-57952 Fri, 18 Feb 2011 12:58:12 +0000 DrTurmoil 57952@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>That's the spirit. Makes you feel better, eh? Any more for any more? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=21406#post-57951 Fri, 18 Feb 2011 12:57:34 +0000 Haz 57951@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>It was crassic ruv stlory but sadry the lomance didrn't rast verry rong. Yoko </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=21406#post-57929 Fri, 18 Feb 2011 11:08:51 +0000 Zadok the second 57929@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>'Darling, You can be an idiot and a bigot, but I know your heart's in the right place, because I opened your chest up with a scalpel last night and checked.' Sarah Massey, 34, Northampton Police Station. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=21406#post-57881 Fri, 18 Feb 2011 05:34:42 +0000 yamashow 57881@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I discovered after all these years that when he’d said I had a body built for sin, he was talking about gluttony and sloth.’V funny ..</p> <p>rikkor thats why I never have money ,I hear footsteps . </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=21406#post-57845 Thu, 17 Feb 2011 16:24:53 +0000 rikkor 57845@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Strangely enough, my latest break-up followed soon after the loss of my business and my money. Kooky. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=21406#post-57839 Thu, 17 Feb 2011 15:22:40 +0000 DrTurmoil 57839@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Readers discuss their own personal personal lives, personally. This week’s topic: Tell us about your most recent break-up:</p> <p>‘To be honest, I traded my wife in for a younger model. Really, the returns policies these Thai Bride websites offer these days are fantastic.’ Edward Smith, 54, Surrey.</p> <p>‘Sometimes people can say things they don’t mean, and problems escalate from there. Like they say ‘tell me your deepest secret fantasy and whatever it is we’ll try it’ when what they really mean is ‘if you really think I’m going to use that on myself I’m going to move back in with my mother.’’ Jessica Carter, 41, Manchester.</p> <p>‘Painless really. Quick change of my Facebook status from Engaged to Looking for Action, and things sorted themselves out from there.’ Ian Bland, 22, Bath.</p> <p>‘It was a real schoolyard romance but the years go by and the real world gets in the way. She moved up to the Upper 6th and I was promoted to Deputy Head and it sort of fizzled out after that.’ Andrew Burton, 56, Cheshire.</p> <p>'‘If you love someone set them free’ she said to me, and after a few days quiet reflection I decided she was right. Of course, I’d have let her go a lot sooner if she could have remembered the safe word…’ Bernard Maxwell, 53, Chelsea.</p> <p>‘I discovered after all these years that when he’d said I had a body built for sin, he was talking about gluttony and sloth.’ Janine Griffiths, 34, Cardiff.</p> <p>‘There was a lot of bitterness, a lot of acrimony and claims and counter-claims but in the end the public turned against her and fortunately she didn’t get a penny from my multi-million pound music rights catalogue. Oh sorry, that wasn’t me, I’m getting myself mixed-up with one of the Beatles again.’ Paul Starkey, 67, Berkshire. </p> <p>‘Actually, if I could take this opportunity – David I’m sorry. It’s been a great 15 years but I’m leaving you for your dad. I’ve sold the house, and cleared all the money out of the joint account. Don’t try and find us. Thanks!’ Amanda Wright, 38, Epping. </p>