http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=2078 The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Sun, 19 May 2013 03:05:25 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=2078#post-7453 Wed, 14 Apr 2010 08:11:16 +0000 Mrblacker 7453@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Having deliberated, cogitated and digested the entries ( not an easy task bearing in mind I've no printer), the winner of the latest NEAT-O is:</p> <p>Simonjmr - a very funny one liner that took me back to my childhood</p> <p>So - over to Simon </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=2078#post-6601 Thu, 08 Apr 2010 21:58:31 +0000 theumpire 6601@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>The man couldn’t believe his luck. As he smoothed the silk counterpane, he reflected that only three hours ago he had left the office late, after finishing his market report for the week and heading to the wine bar around the corner for a couple of quick glasses of claret before heading on back to his dreary bedsit for another lonely weekend.</p> <p>And now, here he was, lying between satin sheets in a famous TV cook’s bed. Why Nigella had picked him, one of life’s losers, was beyond him. Still, he reflected, if some rain must fall into everyone’s life sometime, then the sun must sometimes shine too.</p> <p>Nigella, curled up beside him with her hair spread across the pillows, stirred in her sleep and emitted a cute little snore. God, she had looked so voluptuous in that pale blue silk negligee when she came into the bedroom. The memory stirred his desire again and brought back fresh memories; no one had ever before drizzled his meat and two veg with a warm honey and apricot sauce glaze. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=2078#post-6401 Wed, 07 Apr 2010 21:44:53 +0000 theumpire 6401@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>The little Chinaman shuffled into the last section of the tube train, tears running down his lined cheeks. He subsided onto the grimy seat and put his head in his hands, still sobbing, as the train began its long journey to Hounslow West.</p> <p>Sitting across the gangway from him, the big, tattooed youth in the Chelsea shirt took notice. The Chinaman struck such a pathetic figure that he was strangely touched.</p> <p>“Whasser marrer, mate? You lost a fiver or something?”</p> <p>“No, no.”, replied the Chinaman. “I have been to football this aftelnoon, rike you. We rost, and now we are leregated.” He produced a large, snuff stained handkerchief from his anorak pocket and blew his nose loudly.</p> <p>“Who d’yer support, then mate?” asked his Chelsea counterpart.</p> <p>“Glaze Athretic” came the reply. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=2078#post-6374 Wed, 07 Apr 2010 18:27:38 +0000 edward hack 6374@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Chav named in Cameron election team<br /> David Cameron has moved quickly to counter claims he has surrounded himself with an entourage of 'over privileged Toffs' by fast tracking the first ever Tory 'chav' candidate to help run his election campaign.<br /> The young man, Jermaine 'Jezza' Johnson, an unemployed waster from Braintree in Essex was drafted into Cameron's election team in an effort to connect with Britain's marginalised underclass.<br /> Labour denounced the move as nothing more than a gimmick, designed to glaze over the cracks now haemorrhaging out of Tory policy<br /> But Jezza soon impressed Tory faithful with his polyester shell suit and grasp of fiscal policy and was immediately promoted to Shadow Chancellor when it became obvious he knew more about finance than any other Tory on the team after revealing a keen understanding of the tax system.<br /> 'Tax - yeah, it's what your pit bull does when it gets angry innit.' mused Jez<br /> And he was not finished there.<br /> When asked if he was concerned about the possibility of a double-dip in the economy he said it should not be a problem, long as you got extra cheese-melt tortillas with your fries. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=2078#post-6297 Wed, 07 Apr 2010 12:06:42 +0000 andhrimnir 6297@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Bisque suicide bombers end it all in a glaze of glory. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=2078#post-6273 Wed, 07 Apr 2010 10:45:21 +0000 Scroat 6273@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>CRACKERJACK! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=2078#post-6272 Wed, 07 Apr 2010 10:42:10 +0000 simonjmr 6272@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Crackerjack commemorative pottery ruined after Glaze fell off </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=2078#post-6158 Tue, 06 Apr 2010 19:31:45 +0000 virtuallywill 6158@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>oh </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=2078#post-6147 Tue, 06 Apr 2010 19:02:30 +0000 Mrblacker 6147@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>This week's word is:</p> <p>Glaze (and variants thereof)</p> <p>Because of the Bank Holiday weekend, the deadline for entries is:</p> <p>Midnight Tuesday 13th April </p>