http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=20427 The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Fri, 24 May 2013 19:37:31 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=20427#post-55695 Sun, 30 Jan 2011 03:02:05 +0000 Trickster 55695@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Brilliant! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=20427#post-55559 Fri, 28 Jan 2011 13:20:19 +0000 Golgo13 55559@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Well I reckon you've done well to keep the focus on the dispute. Adding porn would just be a distraction. </p> <p>IMHO. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=20427#post-55441 Thu, 27 Jan 2011 14:35:48 +0000 Oxbridge 55441@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Very, very good. Surely immortality beckons.</p> <p>Possible addition to mine the seam of plumbers in porn humour to exhaustion. "Dave also added that he is completely disgusted with Dave's behaviour in frantically copulating with 23 bored nymphomaniac housewives with silicon-enhanced breasts over the course of the past three weeks and has vowed to have himself ejected from the union as soon as he finishes doing the rusty French horn he is currently engaged in with two Swedish nuns and a goat in Swindon." </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=20427#post-55437 Thu, 27 Jan 2011 14:24:40 +0000 JonnyJP 55437@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Awesome </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=20427#post-55102 Mon, 24 Jan 2011 18:34:13 +0000 Gerontius 55102@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Love this sub.<br /> I'll be back a week on Tuesday to fit some stars<br /> Suppliers sent the wrong ones </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=20427#post-55092 Mon, 24 Jan 2011 17:19:22 +0000 Golgo13 55092@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>@ Zadok : I'm glad you are running with the idea of the breakaway council sitcom. I wrote that comment as a joke, but was then kept awake by ideas for a pilot.</p> <p>I even have the opening credits and theme tune sussed... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=20427#post-55086 Mon, 24 Jan 2011 16:28:36 +0000 Skylarking 55086@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Splendid.</p> <p>And remember: when your nose goes on strike... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=20427#post-55085 Mon, 24 Jan 2011 16:18:06 +0000 Zadok the second 55085@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I like this too. I like the idea of Dave breaking his own picket line, and Dave questioning the integrity of the membership and recruitment practices of the Union of Dave-Workers, and then hiding his own evidence. He could suffer a nervous breakdown when he has to arbitrate between the two Dave factions. In fact, this is like a little sitcom... it could be the second episode of the breakaway Council sitcom. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=20427#post-55084 Mon, 24 Jan 2011 14:08:47 +0000 Vertically Challenged Giant 55084@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Cheers. Second attempt at writing something on here, much happier with this than the first one, which I thought was a good idea, but then turned out to be crap. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=20427#post-55078 Mon, 24 Jan 2011 13:35:06 +0000 Golgo13 55078@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Excellent. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=20427#post-55075 Mon, 24 Jan 2011 12:38:00 +0000 Vertically Challenged Giant 55075@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Self-employed Bolton plumber Dave North has today announced further strikes in an ongoing and increasingly bitter row with himself over pay and benefits.</p> <p>The row first started back in October when Dave was working on his tax return and noticed that he had earned significantly less than in the previous year.</p> <p>“I immediately called an urgent meeting with myself to demand to know why I’d had a pay cut forced on me when I was doing the exact same job as the previous year. I tried to give myself some rubbish about extra competition in the local area making the market more competitive, driving prices down and making plumbing jobs harder to come by, but I wasn’t buying that. I demanded to have my pay restored to the previous year’s level but I claimed that wasn’t possible. We were going nowhere with negotiations so I had no choice but to ballot myself over the possibility of taking strike action.”</p> <p>After the ballot of Dave resulted in a landslide 100% vote in favour of strike action the first 2 day strike took place over the weekend of the 6th and 7th November. There was no break in the deadlock and despite attempts by Dave to negotiate with himself a further 2 day strike took place in early December, followed by a 5 day strike over the Christmas period. This brought Dave back to the table to attempt to broker a deal with himself.</p> <p>“The 5 day strike seemed to get my attention and convince me that I meant business and wasn’t going to just let this drop and allow myself to be bullied by myself. Over the course of a couple of days of intense negotiations I managed to reach a deal with myself whereby I would keep all the profit that I made after costs, tax and national insurance.”</p> <p>With the pay dispute resolved the latest round of strikes is understood to be over Dave’s refusal to re-instate a benefit, withdrawn in response to the first round of strikes, whereby Dave would perform plumbing work on his own home free of charge and the homes of his friends and family in exchange for a couple of pints of Old Speckled Hen.</p> <p>With both sides refusing to back down there is still no end in sight. </p>