http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=18723 The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Sat, 25 May 2013 17:25:21 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=18723#post-50667 Tue, 21 Dec 2010 14:32:40 +0000 Doylem 50667@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Serial killers get special dispensation in Bradford, for helping to put the city on the map... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=18723#post-50663 Tue, 21 Dec 2010 14:23:10 +0000 Oxbridge 50663@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Damn. And it would probably take me all day to drive there in these conditions. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=18723#post-50652 Tue, 21 Dec 2010 13:57:34 +0000 Doylem 50652@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p><blockquote>I've had a really good idea which I'm pretty sure is completely new. </blockquote></p> <p>No, killing prostitutes in Bradford has been done already... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=18723#post-50649 Tue, 21 Dec 2010 13:52:19 +0000 Oxbridge 50649@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Blimey, they're out in force today. I hadn't heard of this site in 2008, or the other parodies or I wouldn't have done one. It sort of writes itself once you think 'what if..?'. Never mind, I've had a really good idea which I'm pretty sure is completely new. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=18723#post-50618 Tue, 21 Dec 2010 11:34:42 +0000 Basil_B 50618@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>You are saying his idea was based on a unoriginal idea? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=18723#post-50613 Tue, 21 Dec 2010 11:21:25 +0000 malgor 50613@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Aye, that's the one. So, Basil_B, <em>et al</em>, you're saying it was behavedave who originally had the unoriginal idea (yet it made the FP). Therefore, Oxy not only had an unoriginal idea but was not even original in his unoriginality. I think that's a first for Oxy. 5* for that. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=18723#post-50532 Mon, 20 Dec 2010 22:49:40 +0000 IABP 50532@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>How about another chess joke?</p> <p>Perhaps not. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=18723#post-50531 Mon, 20 Dec 2010 22:44:23 +0000 red 50531@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Er...</p> <p>See also:</p> <p><a href="http://www.newsbiscuit.com/2008/01/03/restraining-order-for-lover-who-sent-drummers-and-dancing-ladies-and-geese/" rel="nofollow">http://www.newsbiscuit.com/2008/01/03/restraining-order-for-lover-who-sent-drummers-and-dancing-ladies-and-geese/</a> </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=18723#post-50530 Mon, 20 Dec 2010 22:40:18 +0000 Basil_B 50530@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>That's going a bit far Malgor. The five that is. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=18723#post-50526 Mon, 20 Dec 2010 22:00:20 +0000 malgor 50526@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Sorry. You're quite right. Oxy, you're a plagiarising crap-merchant. 5* for that. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=18723#post-50517 Mon, 20 Dec 2010 21:04:49 +0000 Basil_B 50517@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>'Ignore them, Oxy. One's a poem, the other's a narration. Completely different formats'</p> <p>Doesn't exactly make the whole idea original Malgor. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=18723#post-50500 Mon, 20 Dec 2010 19:34:34 +0000 malgor 50500@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Ignore them, Oxy. One's a poem, the other's a narration. Completely different formats. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=18723#post-50499 Mon, 20 Dec 2010 19:25:09 +0000 mr blue 50499@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Frank Kelly too...<br /> <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NQkF7fpw-wI" rel="nofollow">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NQkF7fpw-wI</a> </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=18723#post-50496 Mon, 20 Dec 2010 18:52:22 +0000 Basil_B 50496@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>That really is an 'ahem' Oxy. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=18723#post-50493 Mon, 20 Dec 2010 18:43:04 +0000 Oxbridge 50493@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. Oh well, at least I'm in good company. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=18723#post-50488 Mon, 20 Dec 2010 18:21:30 +0000 Dickens or Shakespeare 50488@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Sorry for spoiler but .... <a href="http://www.users.globalnet.co.uk/~dsalt/jokes/12days.htm">Sounds familiar .....</a> </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=18723#post-50487 Mon, 20 Dec 2010 18:18:46 +0000 ronseal 50487@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>V Good</p> <p>Did she seek a restraining order at any stage? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=18723#post-50486 Mon, 20 Dec 2010 18:08:50 +0000 malgor 50486@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Oxy, you did it again. Made me laugh you did. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=18723#post-50484 Mon, 20 Dec 2010 18:03:37 +0000 Oxbridge 50484@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Rosemary Weeks, a 28-year-old accounts clerk at a data processing firm in Bristol, has expressed her relief after her former boyfriend, Nathan McArthur, was arrested and detained under the Mental Health Act. The strain of his increasingly demented gift-giving had brought her close to a breakdown.</p> <p>'We had only been going out for two months but I was beginning to think Nathan was my true love, he was so romantic,' Weeks told reporters. 'When he told me to expect something special for Christmas, I was so excited.'</p> <p>On the first day of Christmas, Weeks looked out of the window of her basement flat and was touched to find a partridge in a pear tree in her garden. This, she admitted, was quite the most unusual Christmas present she had ever been given. The next day, two turtle doves arrived, which she took to be symbolic of their love.</p> <p>'The next two day three french hens and four colley birds - whatever they are - came, so I tried using the eggs for breakfast,' said Weeks. 'When five gold rings turned up on the fifth day, I took it as a marriage proposal and was going to accept. Then it all got out of hand.'</p> <p>Within three days, Weeks had gone to the police, having seen her garden dug up to provide a pond for six geese a-laying and seven swans a-swimming, while a herd of cows for eight maids to a-milk had completely ruined the green at the front of her house. Despite official warnings, however, McArthur continued with his gifts.</p> <p>'I was hysterical,' Weeks admitted. 'The council was threatening to evict me because of the din caused by nine drummers drumming and ten pipers piping outside all night long, then twelve lords a-lept into my living room, turned on the stereo and started bonking the eleven ladies who'd been dancing there since the night before.' </p> <p>Weeks broke off her relationship with McArthur in the hope he would stop, but to no avail. 'I even had the RSPCA on to me because the sodding partridge, which everyone knows is a bloody ground-based bird for fuck's sake, fell out of the pear tree and died. What kind of sick bastard is he?'</p> <p>Now that her ordeal is over, Weeks is recuperating in Avonmouth General Hospital. Meanwhile, disgruntled sellers on Ebay are reported to be suing McArthur for his failure to pay in full for various other items, including thirteen single mothers a-pregnant, fourteen gypsies a-claiming benefits and fifteen Daily Mail journalists a-fuming. </p>