Forum » Topic: Maths Doc invents bullshit formula for getting bullshit formulas into the news
http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=17882
The NewsBiscuit Communityen-USWed, 08 Jul 2015 04:30:11 +0000http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2<![CDATA[Search]]>q
http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php
Stan on "Maths Doc invents bullshit formula for getting bullshit formulas into the news"
http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=17882#post-106170
Wed, 18 Jan 2012 12:56:31 +0000Stan106170@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>It's a little unfair to describe Dr Justin Higgins as an "egghead". Slaphead yes, but so far as I am aware his cranial crust is as thick as the next boffin.
</p>dvo4fun on "Maths Doc invents bullshit formula for getting bullshit formulas into the news"
http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=17882#post-106153
Wed, 18 Jan 2012 10:35:50 +0000dvo4fun106153@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>Matured well.
</p>nickb on "Maths Doc invents bullshit formula for getting bullshit formulas into the news"
http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=17882#post-106143
Wed, 18 Jan 2012 09:33:32 +0000nickb106143@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>Oh hooray for the germ of truth! This has it perfectly!
</p>writinginbsl on "Maths Doc invents bullshit formula for getting bullshit formulas into the news"
http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=17882#post-105849
Mon, 16 Jan 2012 08:55:11 +0000writinginbsl105849@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>Golgo-there is something wrong with your formula. Apparently the most depressing day was about a week ago.<br />
Perhaps it should be minus S squared?*</p>
<p>*(sorry, i dont have your almost supernatural skill with obscure buttons on my computer)
</p>Golgo13 on "Maths Doc invents bullshit formula for getting bullshit formulas into the news"
http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=17882#post-105837
Mon, 16 Jan 2012 06:56:31 +0000Golgo13105837@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>If my calculations are correct, today's usually the day we get the "most depressing day of the year according to Lampeter University boffin" story.</p>
<p>Although I suppose recently it isn't something news anchors can just tack onto a bulletin and chuckle any more. Not even Bill Turnbull wants that many impulse suicides on his hands.
</p>malgor on "Maths Doc invents bullshit formula for getting bullshit formulas into the news"
http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=17882#post-48449
Tue, 07 Dec 2010 21:29:40 +0000malgor48449@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>LOL. Poor bloke. He was probably fed formula as a baby.
</p>Golgo13 on "Maths Doc invents bullshit formula for getting bullshit formulas into the news"
http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=17882#post-48432
Tue, 07 Dec 2010 19:54:31 +0000Golgo1348432@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>Thanks for the feedback. There really was a maths bloke on the BBC morning news sofa yesterday touting a formula for the perfect Christmas...I thought it would be picked up by all the major news outlets...It was in The Star and The Belfast Telegraph (online version at least)...but it's a generic thing...some joker always comes out with a formula for something every few months, and grrr it makes me mad...oh, and I was totally going for the typesetter crowd...underserved comedy constituency if you ask me.
</p>Scroat on "Maths Doc invents bullshit formula for getting bullshit formulas into the news"
http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=17882#post-48295
Tue, 07 Dec 2010 09:26:48 +0000Scroat48295@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>Nice one Golly - especially like the bit about alienating typesetters. I go back to hot metal, linotype and even monotype. Now it's all done by pooters
</p>IABP on "Maths Doc invents bullshit formula for getting bullshit formulas into the news"
http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=17882#post-48291
Tue, 07 Dec 2010 09:10:38 +0000IABP48291@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>I'm making loads of noise. I'm surprised you can't hear me.
</p>rickwestwell on "Maths Doc invents bullshit formula for getting bullshit formulas into the news"
http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=17882#post-48288
Tue, 07 Dec 2010 09:05:43 +0000rickwestwell48288@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>Loved it, especially the bearded quotient and room full of crazy! I need one of them.
</p>Golgo13 on "Maths Doc invents bullshit formula for getting bullshit formulas into the news"
http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=17882#post-48229
Mon, 06 Dec 2010 19:43:33 +0000Golgo1348229@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>Pretty quiet today.
</p>Golgo13 on "Maths Doc invents bullshit formula for getting bullshit formulas into the news"
http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=17882#post-48129
Mon, 06 Dec 2010 11:38:24 +0000Golgo1348129@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>After years of attention-hungry maths boffins having hit-and-miss success getting nonsense formulas for 'most depressing day of the year', 'female beauty' and 'Christmas happiness' into the mass media, a mathematics researcher and lecturer from the University of East Anglia has developed a new half-arsed formula to optimise the chances of these meaningless equations being broadcast by news outlets.</p>
<p>Norwich egghead, Dr Justin Higgins, who hasn't had a proper paper published in over 3 years, stayed up all night studying the types of bogus pseudo-maths that make it onto Yahoo news, the BBC and the Sun website, and concluded that while relevance and humour were important, complexity and desperation were also key factors, coming up with this piece of specious claptrap:</p>
<p><center>S = ((R + Hq)×(sin(C)+D))/(B + RfoC)</center></p>
<p>Dr Higgins, whose position at the University is up for review in the new year, explained that, 'Success, 'S', is a function of relevance, 'R', and humour quotient, 'Hq', but also takes into account how complicated the formula looks, 'C'. It needs to look plausibly complex so as to look brainy, but not so impenetrable that it alienates the public and typesetters. Somewhere between Key Stage 2 and Key Stage 3 on the curriculum.' </p>
<p>Higgins, overlooked for promotion again this year, went on to say that Desperation factor, 'D', is also important, as each faculty-member tries to raise his profile ahead of public spending cuts, but that the probability of it becoming a springboard to a TV career like Brian Cox or Marcus du Sautoy’s was sadly undermined by his excessive Beardiness, 'B', and his ownership of a 'Room full of Crazy' where mysterious numbers and symbols are scrawled all over the walls and windows of a locked room in the mathematician’s house.</p>
<p>It is understood that Head of UEA Maths Department, Professor David Hammond has responded with his own formula for Dr Higgins' chances of being taken seriously in the faculty staff room.
</p>