http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=178 The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Fri, 24 May 2013 00:19:40 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=178#post-509 Thu, 25 Feb 2010 11:56:04 +0000 IamWibble 509@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Denmark has today announced that it is limiting the export of Bacon to Britain, amid continuing tension over it's historic claim over the Shetland Islands. </p> <p>The Danish base their claim over the Islands on their invasion of the British Isles over a milllenia ago. Danish Prime Minister Jorgen Jorgensen, in his address to the Folkerting, stated that the continuing British presence in the Shetlands was "symptomatic of the imperialist mindset of the arrogant British, who fail to see that the age of empires is over", and anounnced his intention to take the issue before the UN. This call was echoed by the other Baltic states, known as the Gotland Group. The Swedish Prime Minister, Sven Svensson issued the following statement "Queen of England, I'm talking to you. The time for empires is over, haven't you noticed? Return the Shetlands to the Danish people". </p> <p>The Danish have however been quick to rule out any chance of military action however. In a statement to the press, Danish Foriegn Minister Lars Larsson believed "the chances are this conflict flaring up again are quite low. Although we believe that a small army of longboats would be more than enough to overwhelm the Shetlands, we are committed to peace." Despite this reassurance, the Shetlanders are receiving an additional fishing boat, 3 muskets, 4 civil servents with a Blue Belt in Karate and a kite that looks like a bomber in certain lights. This is said to be all that the MOD can spare at this time.</p> <p>The British Government have yet to officially comment on this latest development, however a high-ranking source has told us that "this is all sabre-rattling because of the state of the Danish economy. We've told them many times they are welcome to have the Shetlands, and in fact the whole of Scotland. They just won't listen." </p>