http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=16395 The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Wed, 19 Jun 2013 04:28:53 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=16395#post-148838 Thu, 15 Nov 2012 08:00:40 +0000 Gerontius 148838@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Incredible to think how many new names could be added to the list since Golgo wrote this. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=16395#post-44654 Tue, 23 Nov 2010 09:29:44 +0000 Dickens or Shakespeare 44654@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Classical work. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=16395#post-44652 Tue, 23 Nov 2010 09:26:48 +0000 arrghgarry 44652@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Golgo what do you call a japanese guy that dresses all in black and prefers bottled beer to 生ビール　　　</p> <p>瓶じゃ </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=16395#post-44430 Mon, 22 Nov 2010 12:35:40 +0000 rickwestwell 44430@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Golgo - thanks for the link to my George Osborne ball-licking one - I'd forgotten about it. No testicles please, we're British! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=16395#post-44410 Mon, 22 Nov 2010 11:17:58 +0000 Gerontius 44410@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Sir Fred 'Order of the Fist' (although he's the one getting 7000,000 of taxpayers money every year and not me)<br /> Could give young Chris an Analwarthood </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=16395#post-44408 Mon, 22 Nov 2010 10:56:49 +0000 Golgo13 44408@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>@arrghgarry - I checked the internet for dishonours lists before subbing so I could nick the best ideas, but all I got was a Nigerian website called Punch, who were making a serious point about politicians there...there were some other special interest sites (LGBT advocacy sites, eg) that awarded dishonours for public figures who'd stepped on their particular toes. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=16395#post-44400 Mon, 22 Nov 2010 10:48:01 +0000 Sinnick 44400@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>all good points.</p> <p>Yes, I do like the idea of queenie saying "for services to Ferrari showrooms everywhere, for donating fuckall to charities, for buying a £12 million car using licence-payers' money, and for being an unpopular arsehole, arise Sir Christopher" [Evans] </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=16395#post-44396 Mon, 22 Nov 2010 10:43:15 +0000 IABP 44396@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>TFI was highly watchable. It's like everything else. Once you've been over-exposed your twat value just keeps on rising. Let's get back to Noel's House Party and simpler times. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=16395#post-44391 Mon, 22 Nov 2010 10:36:30 +0000 Golgo13 44391@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>@Rick...yes this could end up being 'one for the subs board'...like your George Osborne lick my balls one...</p> <p>For the benefit of those who missed it:-</p> <p><a href="http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=8737" rel="nofollow">http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=8737</a> </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=16395#post-44389 Mon, 22 Nov 2010 10:30:56 +0000 Golgo13 44389@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Noel Horrit (who is indeed a shit) is based on someone I know. So is Sarah Hopkins (who was a lying little slag). I changed their names and locations though. Only the initials remain the same. </p> <p>As for expletives, I agree...NB doesn't often use them on the FP. I tend to avoid cuss words if I can, and I avoided 'fuck' and restricted myself to one 'cunt' at the end there. Otherwise, I restricted myself to 'Level 3' profanity (on the 5-level swearing scale)...For me, some of what humour there is in the piece comes from imagining the Queen bestowing obscene titles on people, and then having them used officially. "Wally" and "Plonker" don't really capture the same feeling. So I try to use rude words with care and only where they belong.</p> <p>Chris Evans doesn't bother me particularly because I wasn't around for the nineties, and I don't listen to Radio 2, but he would be a good candidate, as a popular hate-figure...</p> <p>I avoided politicians because of the last paragraph...the subtext of that being that 'they' would be quite happy to have us blame everything on Goodwins and Haywards and cat-bin ladies ('Worse than Hitler' was apparently a genuine comment from a Sun reader...or something)...like the orchestrated hate sessions in 1984. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=16395#post-44388 Mon, 22 Nov 2010 10:25:41 +0000 arrghgarry 44388@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I just wondered if there was an actual dishonors list ? like the Ignoble ,you could start something off there Golgo </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=16395#post-44385 Mon, 22 Nov 2010 10:18:59 +0000 rickwestwell 44385@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p><blockquote>I'd soften the expletives a little to get on the FP, imho</blockquote></p> <p>Or leave it as it is, and bugger the FP. :-) </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=16395#post-44384 Mon, 22 Nov 2010 10:17:21 +0000 Sinnick 44384@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Noel Horritt a friend of yours, perhaps ?</p> <p>Good post, parallels the "ig noble" prizes nicely. I'd soften the expletives a little to get on the FP, imho. And why haven't you mentioned Chris Evans ?? or Clegg for services to honesty ? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=16395#post-44377 Mon, 22 Nov 2010 10:08:28 +0000 rickwestwell 44377@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Good work Golgo, you cunt! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=16395#post-44320 Mon, 22 Nov 2010 03:31:00 +0000 arrghgarry 44320@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I think you got everything covered .5.. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=16395#post-44309 Mon, 22 Nov 2010 00:31:41 +0000 Golgo13 44309@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Any other nominations welcome. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=16395#post-44307 Mon, 22 Nov 2010 00:29:04 +0000 Golgo13 44307@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Although not officially announced until the end of next month, details of this year's dishonours list have been leaked and the list, if confirmed, includes dozens of newly minted twats, pricks, sods and tossers - individuals whose contributions to public life have been irritating, infuriating or downright damaging.</p> <p>Under hastily cobbled legislation fast-tracked through parliament, anybody can recommend someone for one of the new dishonours, which consist of life Twatages, Prickhoods, appointments to the Order of the Utter Wankers, and an assortment of other choice epithets.</p> <p>Nominations, submitted by members of the public, are assessed by committees of independent experts at the Cap in Hand pub in Chessington. Their assessments are passed to a selection committee that produces the list, independently of government, that is submitted to the Queen through the prime minister. Once conferred, the recipient should always be addressed with their official title</p> <p>Both Piers Morgan and Bono are set to be made life Twats, obliging them to sit with their fellow ignobles in the House of Twats, which, while having no legislative power, does at least keep them all in one place. Former Royal Bank of Scotland chief executive, Fred Goodwin is in line for a prickhood, and will thus be addressed as “Prick Fred Goodwin” from the new year, and joining him will be massive prick, former BP CEO, Tony Hayward.</p> <p>From the world of entertainment, Jeremy Kyle, Fearne Cotton and Chris Moyles will all be dubbed Tossers of the British Empire, and in sport, John Terry is to receive a Shitehood.<br /> Wendy Lewis, the woman who urinated on the cenotaph memorial in Blackpool this June is to be made a Companion of the Order of Mingers, and Mary Bale, the cat-in-the-wheelie-bin woman is to be awarded the 'Worse than Hitler' medal. </p> <p>As is customary, three-quarters of the awards in the dishonours list go to 'unsung local bellends'.<br /> They include a Dickhead award for Clive Walker, 'comedian' caller at a Bristol bingo hall, a Lying Little Slag medal for Sarah Hopkins, till operator at Levenshulme Asda in Manchester, and Noel Horritt, an office manager from Greenock in Renfrewshire, who is to be awarded a golden turd for services to being a total shit about the holiday rota every fricking year for the last 8 years.</p> <p>The dishonours will be awarded at Buckingham Palace on New Year's Day, and it is the government's hope that this diversionary hatred will vent the electorate's frustration and draw attention away from the extraordinary concentration of cunts among their number. </p>