http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=14804 The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Sun, 26 May 2013 03:49:56 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=14804#post-40249 Sun, 31 Oct 2010 14:09:33 +0000 rickwestwell 40249@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Many thanks, Rambles - Willie Rushton is a god to me, as it happens - I've got every single episode of ISIHAC (illegally - *cough*) on my ipod, and printouts of his cartoons taped up around my PC. And Johnners was a man of similar depths - RIP the both. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=14804#post-40248 Sun, 31 Oct 2010 13:54:11 +0000 ramblesnake 40248@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Well done Rickwestwellers. As I'm over 52 it takes a lot to make me laugh out loud.<br /> I'm sure I can remember Johnston talking about, and taking credit for, the line on the Parkey show or some such but that doesn't mean much.<br /> Caught a repeat of Trivia Test Match on a rare listen to Radio 7 the other day. Johnners, of course, was in the chair and on Willie Rushton's team was Rachael Heyhoe-Flint. They don't make names like that anymore. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=14804#post-40244 Sun, 31 Oct 2010 13:16:34 +0000 Scroat 40244@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Benners had a very sparse style and a very laconic delivery. I'm sure I can remember him saying it. On the other hand, Johnners would have said something more traditional like "and now it's Willey to Holding at the Pavilion End" or some such.</p> <p>How are we going to find out for definite? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=14804#post-40234 Sun, 31 Oct 2010 12:36:15 +0000 sauce 40234@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Rick, your Rikkor tribute was duely noted here but I do think it should be "<em>arse</em>" as it's attributed to a Brit.</p> <p>Laughing at the Johners comment: brilliant. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=14804#post-40233 Sun, 31 Oct 2010 12:11:30 +0000 rickwestwell 40233@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Just out of interest, does anyone like the fact that they're all called 'Johnners', or the reference to Vikram Seth's novel <em>A Suitable Boy</em>, or even the tribute to Rikkor in the last line?</p> <p>P.S. Scroaters - I'm sure it was Johnners. But I'm more sure that it never happened.</p> <p>But if you want a great Johnners quote, I'm assured this one is true (radio interview):</p> <p><blockquote>Obnoxious tourist: Yeah, London is the asshole of the world.<br /> Johnners (quick as a flash): So, you're just passing through, then?</blockquote> </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=14804#post-40232 Sun, 31 Oct 2010 12:02:59 +0000 Scroat 40232@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>There was also that one about Botham being given out for knocking over a stump, and they observed that he didn't quite get his leg over. Nice one. Happy days. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=14804#post-40231 Sun, 31 Oct 2010 12:01:09 +0000 Scroat 40231@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Westers - I still think it was Benners rather than Johnners. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=14804#post-40192 Sun, 31 Oct 2010 05:50:04 +0000 rickwestwell 40192@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Thank you, Scroaters, Sinners and Mallers - glad I could spark up such an impassioned debate. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=14804#post-40186 Sun, 31 Oct 2010 00:44:53 +0000 malgor 40186@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>It happened on the fifth ball of the over. The batsman was obliged to leave the field for several minutes. Upon his return, the commentator said 'Ah, he's back in his crease, with only one ball left.'</p> <p>Good work, rikkers, have *s. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=14804#post-40179 Sat, 30 Oct 2010 22:12:06 +0000 Sinnick 40179@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I've always understood it was Johnners.</p> <p>Regardless, I remember an incident when Merv Hughes was hit by the ball in a delicate area. One commentator (Johnners ?) noted he'd been hit just inside the left thigh; the other commentator (Aggers ?) agreed, and said it was also just inside his right thigh. The commentary went quiet for several minutes apart from the sound of muffled giggling. Anyone remember ? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=14804#post-40161 Sat, 30 Oct 2010 16:00:01 +0000 Scroat 40161@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Holder/Willey was Richie Benaud, I think you'll find. Although it says Brian J all over the Interweb. However the Interweb has been known to be wrong...</p> <p>But have some stars nontheless. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=14804#post-40155 Sat, 30 Oct 2010 13:20:20 +0000 rickwestwell 40155@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Members of the BBC radio Test Match Special commentary team were taken into police custody last night, accused of trying to fake a new pseudo-accidental on-air gaffe, for the purpose of gaining royalties from Private Eye magazine's Colemanballs column and the lucrative after-dinner speaking circuit.</p> <p>Many hilarious blunders have been perpetrated by the TMS team over the years, bringing fame and fortune to the unwitting authors. Brian 'Johnners' Johnston dined out for years on his outrageous comment "There's Botham with his legs apart looking for a tickle", and his classic "The bowler's Holding, the batsman's Willey" earned him a multi-million pound book deal and a knighthood.</p> <p>In recent times, however, the supply of howlers has run dry - perhaps partly due to the Beeb's tighter editorial controls and stricter policy on lunchtime drinking - and the modern generation of cricket commentators can only look with envy upon the riches gathered by their clumsy-tongued former colleagues.</p> <p>The commentators currently in custody came to the police's attention after a series of new gaffes, seeming too outrageous to be accidental, shocked and titillated the Radio Four audience. During the summer's fourth test against Pakistan, Jonathan 'Johnners' Agnew casually remarked: "There's James Anderson holding a pair of big red balls in his hand, hoping to tickle them down to stroke Mohammad Amir's middle stump", to the exaggerated mirth of his colleagues. Similarly, in the previous test, Phil 'Johnners' Tufnell was heard to remark: "Stuart Broad can't help spanking the bowler's big bouncers right down the wicket keeper's throat". The real clincher, however, was Agnew's languid observation during the recent One Day series that: "Shahid Afridi looks like a raving fairy strutting down Old Compton Steet on a Friday night, looking for some big juicy bum love." </p> <p>The comment was quickly excused as an off-the-cuff slip of the tongue, but police swooped on the commentary box and found a plethora of incriminating evidence, including a stash of pornographic magazines, the Viz 'Profanisaurus' guide to rude expressions, and a copy of Vikram Seth's <em>A Suitable Boy</em>.</p> <p>A police spokesman expressed confidence in the case against the accused. "They can't seriously expect a jury to believe that this was an accident," he insisted today. "If you ask me, they're looking at a long hard stretch, and I'm the one to send them down," before adding: "Blimey, my ass hurts." </p>