http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=13955 The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Sun, 26 May 2013 05:10:50 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=13955#post-41492 Sun, 07 Nov 2010 15:14:13 +0000 FormerlyAlOPecia 41492@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Would Bloody Mary only post once a month? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=13955#post-38612 Tue, 19 Oct 2010 08:13:21 +0000 IABP 38612@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Strange because they let me play the ass and I'd been doing it all year. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=13955#post-38611 Tue, 19 Oct 2010 08:02:21 +0000 Zadok the second 38611@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Kid at our school, Joseph-Innkeeper-Jesus Shepherd had the same problem, Mary. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=13955#post-38605 Tue, 19 Oct 2010 07:32:13 +0000 Mary Evans 38605@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Good for you Mary. We are a rare and precious breed indeed, although I've never quite forgiven my name for excluding me from the lead role in the school nativity play on the basis that 'you can be Mary all the rest of the year'. But my second-shepherd-from-the-left charmed critics and audiences alike. </p> <p>Welcome to our humble abode - the natives are (usually) friendly! xx </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=13955#post-38595 Tue, 19 Oct 2010 02:41:44 +0000 Mary 38595@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I am a Mary and will always be a Mary </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=13955#post-38121 Thu, 14 Oct 2010 22:50:44 +0000 antharrison 38121@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>This is something that you have no control over - hence it doesn't matter to some extent - and the occupants of Lesbos are happy with a finger of fudge so maybe it's more to do with technique than size. </p> <p>Jeremy Clarkson. News at 10, Lesbos. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=13955#post-37936 Wed, 13 Oct 2010 17:10:44 +0000 Nobby Holder 37936@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Getting back to the actual sub - I thought it was most amusing.<br /> I see it has only scored the average NB inside leg measurement, here let me bump it up a bit<br /> anybody remember having the odd fiver on Mary Hinge a while back - she may be still running </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=13955#post-37935 Wed, 13 Oct 2010 17:05:35 +0000 Mary Evans 37935@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Aw shucks Salty... don't fuck off... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=13955#post-37934 Wed, 13 Oct 2010 17:01:34 +0000 newsbiscuit editorial team 37934@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>This is the wrong place for this comment. As you were. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=13955#post-37918 Wed, 13 Oct 2010 15:11:04 +0000 saltire 37918@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>It's very simple. The new Mary is a geezer havin a laugh. Mary Evans a.k.a 'the fragrant one' although masculine in appearance is 100% feminine.<br /> Don't worry Evans.I'll always stick up for you darlin'. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=13955#post-37916 Wed, 13 Oct 2010 15:08:53 +0000 StoopyDeGunt 37916@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Where can I see these pictures of Jeremy - the Button Mushroom - Clarkson?</p> <p>They're not for me, they're for my friend.</p> <p>Maybe he should be dubbed Jemson Button.</p> <p>In his defence though, I would say he makes a quite amusing TV show. I don't even care about cars, but his show is amusing.<br /> On the other hand.... there's something that rankles about him....</p> <p>Still, he's a comedian. Who said comedians are supposed to be likeable? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=13955#post-37914 Wed, 13 Oct 2010 14:54:13 +0000 Sinnick 37914@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Ah, Mary Evans, you must be "Mary quite contrary" </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=13955#post-37913 Wed, 13 Oct 2010 14:51:37 +0000 sauce 37913@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Next one could be "Bloody Mary".</p> <p>(This place is too confusing already.) </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=13955#post-37905 Wed, 13 Oct 2010 14:12:23 +0000 Mary Evans 37905@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Not sure that's going to necessarily differentiate us Sinnick, but appreciate your help. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=13955#post-37901 Wed, 13 Oct 2010 14:01:25 +0000 Sinnick 37901@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Would it be easier if we all called ourselves Mary ?</p> <p>We could identify the 2nd Mary as "the one who did the big knob gag".</p> <p>As always, just trying to help. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=13955#post-37884 Wed, 13 Oct 2010 11:32:42 +0000 Oxbridge 37884@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Two Marys! That's funny, I had a dream only the other night *slap*...sorry Mary. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=13955#post-37883 Wed, 13 Oct 2010 11:29:45 +0000 Mary Evans 37883@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>You lucky chaps. It's another Mary. Welcome Mary. Love Mary. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=13955#post-37875 Wed, 13 Oct 2010 11:00:25 +0000 ramblesnake 37875@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I've never had any complaints. Well, not until I've untied the gag. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=13955#post-37850 Wed, 13 Oct 2010 08:41:54 +0000 Mary 37850@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Objection noted. Who would you like...Frank Skinner? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=13955#post-37849 Wed, 13 Oct 2010 08:40:44 +0000 Zadok the second 37849@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I would like my formal objection to the phrase 'fully aroused Adrian Chiles' noted, please. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=13955#post-37845 Wed, 13 Oct 2010 08:30:04 +0000 Stan Laurel 37845@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p><em>The</em> Mary? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=13955#post-37823 Wed, 13 Oct 2010 07:40:33 +0000 Stan Laurel 37823@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Mary? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=13955#post-37822 Wed, 13 Oct 2010 07:34:46 +0000 Mary 37822@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p><strong>Does size matter?</strong></p> <p>It’s a man’s worst nightmare – to have pictures showing he is not well-endowed circulated on the internet.</p> <p>Photos of a naked Jeremy Clarkson have been dropping into email boxes causing extreme embarrassment for a man who delights in all that is Alpha male. And they have provoked much debate about how big a man needs to be and does size really matter?</p> <p>Women in the Newsbiscuit office have been giggling at Jeremy’s photo and saying: “It’s not very big is it?”. But the blokes have been displaying male solidarity. “It looks about normal size to me” said writer and type 2 diabetic Peter Jones. We asked people in the know what they thought. Does the size of a Man’s marrow really matter?</p> <p><strong>Yes…. Says glamour model Jodie Marsh</strong></p> <p>“Yes but not as much as men think it matters. Most assume that bigger is better, but for me an enormous one can be almost as much a turn off as a tiny one, especially if it comes with the same sized attitude. All the men I’ve known with big bits (David Walliams, Terry Venables) tend to be too arrogant, while those who are less well endowed (Ricky Gervais, Stephen Hawking) make more of an effort in bed to compensate. So guys – just remember that size isn’t everything, and it really is far more important to know how to please a girl and make her feel special”</p> <p>When asked on what constituted ‘normal size’ Jodie replied “About the size small cucumber or large courgette”</p> <p><strong>No…. Says men’s health expert Dr Robert Boner</strong></p> <p>“From a medical perspective, size really doesn’t matter. Having a small one certainly doesn’t affect a man’s fertility.</p> <p>The only way it might affect conception would be if he was unable to perform due to lack of confidence about how small he was. Many men with small penises suffer from an inferiority complex and often try to counterbalance this by pursuing overtly masculine career’s in for example the Police or Fire service.</p> <p>Sorry ladies but statistically the average Firefighter is two to three inches when non-erect and about four to five inches when erect. Compare this to your male nurse (traditionally a female occupation) who averages a cool 8 and a half inches and it is easy to see how member size can have a huge influence on life choices.</p> <p>Boner continues: “Interestingly research shows that men who are relatively small when they’re non-erect actually go up to the same size as bigger men when they’re erect.</p> <p>And fat men often cannot see their penises at all without the elaborate use of mirrors and this can be very feminizing. In psychology we call this the ‘Christopher Biggins effect’”</p> <p><strong>Yes…. Says Times columnist Sally Reid</strong></p> <p>“Of course it matters. Let’s face it when you are watching a man undress for the first time there is nothing more exciting than seeing a large cock emerge from a pair of levi’s. It is indicative of the patriarchal nature of our society that men can openly talk about the wonders of a ‘great pair of tits’ but we cannot openly express our delight in looking at ‘Big Dick and his twins’”</p> <p>“Nevermind Pankhurst getting us the vote, true emancipation will only have arrived when we can open page 3 of a national newspaper and ogle at a fully eroused Adrian Chiles”</p> <p><strong>No…. Says relationship expert Brian Cox</strong></p> <p>“It does not matter. Men with small ones make better lovers because guys with large ones get the impression very early in life that they are bigger and better than other blokes and tend not to focus on things like foreplay”</p> <p>“I’ve never heard of any woman staying with a man because he was well endowed. My wife walked out on me Christmas Day 2006 not because I had a small penis but because I accidentally attacked her mother with a screwdriver on Christmas Eve 2006. The assault charge was dropped last year and I’m pleased to say that me and my medium sized penis can at last move on”</p> <p><strong>Yes…. Says retired porn film producer Ben Dover<br /> </strong><br /> “Women might say they don’t care about size but they do. When they’re presented with a big one they’re thinking “Oh my God”.</p> <p>“When I was a stripper it was definitely de rigeur to have quite a large one. We used to have all sorts of sayings in the industry. For example, ‘What do you call a man with a small penis?’. ‘A total twat’. How I miss the humour of the good old days”</p> <p>There’s nothing like the feeling of having a big one. It’s a very good confidence booster.</p> <p>I left school with no ‘O’ or ‘A’ levels whatsoever, but I had what every schmuck who toddled off to college wanted.</p> <p>You can stick your Isaac Newton’s and your Soren Kierkegaard’s, give me my 12 inch Thomas Aquinas anytime”</p> <p>. </p>