http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=1261 The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Thu, 20 Jun 2013 00:14:06 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=1261#post-3306 Sun, 21 Mar 2010 09:50:41 +0000 StoopyDeGunt 3306@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>The British Airways staff-management dispute has taken an unexpected turn, which could see the strike being replaced by a different form of industrial action that breaks all the rules of business.<br /> Instead of losing pay, standing in the rain with a stupid placard and screwing the public, BA's ground and cabin crew are going to stand tradtional wisdom on its head. They're going to turn up for work, help the public and refuse to screw them for every last penny on behalf of their greedy bosses.<br /> When they're working, BA staff have an unwritten contract to help their bosses to screw the public and treat them like dirt. Under normal conditions, a BA steward wouldn't help you make the last flight home if your life depended on it. And ground crew will happily charge you top dollar to exploit your misfortune.<br /> Even during an industrial dispute this contract holds, with the staff-management pact to screw the public surviving.<br /> But in a new dramatic twist, BA unions have decided they might get the public on thier side if they stopped treating them like scum. Under revlutionary new plans, BA staff could:<br /> Refuse to invent reasons to charge you extra, fees for your dead dad's ashes<br /> Help customers get the cheapest fair<br /> Be sensible about imposing regulations<br /> Forget to stiff the customer at every possible opportunity<br /> Pass on useful information, without making the customer conduct a five hour investigation<br /> 'If we helped the public, maybe they'd sympathise with us, instead of thinking we're BA's henchpersons and uppity flying waitresses,' said one stewardess.</p> <p>STOP PRESS<br /> Last night, BA staff rejected this new plan, saying 'It's more than our jobsworth. We're very sorry, there's nothing we can do, our hands our tied. Goodbye' </p>