http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=12171 The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Thu, 23 May 2013 04:40:50 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=12171#post-33511 Tue, 14 Sep 2010 13:48:18 +0000 KimKali 33511@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Given how much of the book seems concerned with eating children it seems timely. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=12171#post-33510 Tue, 14 Sep 2010 13:33:55 +0000 la maga 33510@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Hmmm, a fairtrade Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. I like that idea. A better deal for Oompah-loompas! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=12171#post-33506 Tue, 14 Sep 2010 13:01:22 +0000 KimKali 33506@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>When you say "stepping too far from PC", were you perhaps thinking of including Umpa Lumpas &amp; fairtrade chocolate? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=12171#post-33502 Tue, 14 Sep 2010 12:44:49 +0000 Sinnick 33502@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>It's good stuff, though you could perhaps broaden it to other wallahs without stepping too far from PC. We already have car-wallahs (majority of our taxi drivers) and call-centre wallahs.</p> <p>I'm sure some of our <strike>friends</strike> associates can help with other examples ... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=12171#post-33496 Tue, 14 Sep 2010 12:20:47 +0000 la maga 33496@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I know everyone thinks this at some point but I've yet to fathom what does or does not get a good response on here. It's like trying to please a hormonal yet strangely inscrutable twelve-year-old... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=12171#post-33408 Mon, 13 Sep 2010 17:31:54 +0000 la maga 33408@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Today in Parliament many members of the Cabinet, who are either millionaires or Liberal Democrats, were showing off the latest accessory for very rich people: Fairtrade punkah-wallahs, ethically sourced from Indian villages and dressed in traditional colonial-era clothing.</p> <p>Punkah-wallahs are servants whose job it is to constantly fan their master by manually swinging a fan attached to the ceiling. They have largely fallen out of fashion since the decline of the British Empire, surviving only in the best parts of Mayfair. "Part of it was just that the weather in Britain so seldom required it," explains Cherie Noughten of Vogue. "But global warming is sorting that out for us. And then for a long time there wasn't enough excess wealth swilling around in the trough to restart the fashion. Now the country is led by very rich people again it's the perfect time for punkah-wallahs to be rehabilitated."</p> <p>In order to throw off any lingering whiff of colonial exploitation, each punkah-wallah now comes with a Fairtrade mark guarantee. "They're all paid more than adequate wages – for India anyway," explained one cabinet minister. "So there's even enough for their families to eat too. And some percentage of the money goes to community projects." When asked what the community projects were he shrugged, "I'm damned if I know what a punkah-wallah does with excess cash. Hire a punkah-wallah maybe?"</p> <p>Meanwhile other MPs are complaining that the punkah-wallahs are taking up too much space on the benches in Parliament. "Admittedly it's cooler in there now," said one on condition of anonymity, "But now we have to really squeeze up on the benches and I don't think everyone uses deodorant. I'd really rather smell my own sweat than Denis Macshane's." </p> <p>But with its new 'ethical cool' image, a punkah-wallah is the latest must-have accessory around town and fashion experts don't think it's about to go away. "You've got to remember," said one, "The previous fashion for punkah-wallahs lasted several hundred years, so we've got to expect them to be with us for quite some time." </p>