http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=11668 The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Thu, 23 May 2013 15:50:23 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=11668#post-32365 Tue, 07 Sep 2010 15:46:17 +0000 Iamthestig 32365@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Surely that would make them I-Pads... or does that depend what time of the month they are used? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=11668#post-32164 Mon, 06 Sep 2010 10:52:30 +0000 Oxbridge 32164@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Possible extra line to, ahem, work in?</p> <p>'We developed this as a result of customer feedback,' said Jobs. 'Many told us, shortly after buying their iPhones, that we could stick up our products up our arses from now on.'</p> <p>Added Jobs: 'My ass hurts'. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=11668#post-32155 Mon, 06 Sep 2010 10:09:04 +0000 ChrisHarrison 32155@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Very good! 5* </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=11668#post-32117 Mon, 06 Sep 2010 07:53:33 +0000 arrghgarry 32117@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>It will certainly make them shuffle </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=11668#post-32115 Mon, 06 Sep 2010 07:46:08 +0000 Charlie Snibbs 32115@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Steve Big Jobs</p> <p>very funny by the way </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=11668#post-32005 Sun, 05 Sep 2010 09:31:18 +0000 Harry Liddon 32005@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Loved it! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=11668#post-31948 Sat, 04 Sep 2010 19:42:19 +0000 fernandomando 31948@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Very good, but surely owners will, at some stage, have to have a look at the anal housing and thus perform a peculiar procedure of some kind.</p> <p>Have 5 stars </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=11668#post-31947 Sat, 04 Sep 2010 19:40:00 +0000 IABP 31947@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>My local store manager says he's got piles </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=11668#post-31944 Sat, 04 Sep 2010 19:23:02 +0000 SingingHinny 31944@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I'll look forward to laying a little jobby when I go to the toilet then. Very funny, 5*. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=11668#post-31943 Sat, 04 Sep 2010 19:18:26 +0000 Peter749400 31943@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p><img src="http://image.xinmin.cn/2010/09/02/20100902024347588665.jpg"></p> <p>Apple enthusiasts faced long queues last night to get their hands on the latest version of the I-pod shuffle, which is designed to be inserted deep into the buyer's anus with a specially designed white probe.</p> <p>Launching the product, Apple CEO Steve jobs surprised the audience after walking on stage with the tell-tale white headphone cord clearly disappearing into his rectum. He then demonstrated how users could change tracks and adjust volume by clenching or flexing their buttocks in a series of easy-to-learn moves. "Just tense the right buttock for volume, and left to change the track" he explained, his eyes watering slightly. "Staff at your local Apple Store will be happy to insert the product for you and provide any necessary aftercare. Once inserted, the device need never be removed - you can plug in the headphones or charger with only moderate discomfort."</p> <p>Apple stores up and down the country were packed with eager buyers, with the lucky few ambling out again with the telltale wider gait which has already been nicknamed the I-pod "shuffle".</p> <p>One early user complained that the controls on the new product made jogging with the device impossible. "Every time I took a step the track changed" he complained. In response an Apple spokesman confirmed that users may need to adopt a wider stance while walking, running or sitting to avoid this. </p> <p>Other reviews criticised the new product's sharp edges and tendency to cause anal bleeding. But one veteran critic was unsurprised, claimed that Apple's products "had always been a bleeding pain in the arse". </p>