http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=11304 The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Sun, 26 May 2013 07:57:41 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=11304#post-30993 Mon, 30 Aug 2010 17:00:21 +0000 FormerlyAlOPecia 30993@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Genius - this is the place I grew up - right on the button. The stories were rife - yes little old ladies were perfectly safe, and there were no burglaries, but give one of them a funny look and getting away with broken legs was a relief. 5.</p> <p>There is some work recently reported in the scientific literature about re-introducing wolf packs re-instating a "landscape of fear" for herbivore populations - you might want to drop this in. This has a knock on effect for vegetation and carbon storage in soils - you could add something on "bent coppers being no substitute for the real thing".</p> <p>Wonderful. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=11304#post-30989 Mon, 30 Aug 2010 16:47:27 +0000 Des Custard 30989@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Funny and well written. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=11304#post-30937 Mon, 30 Aug 2010 08:27:38 +0000 Rizzo 30937@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I laughed my head off at the Barbara Windsor and Jack 'the hat' Mcvitie's biscuits part. Great work matey </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=11304#post-30929 Mon, 30 Aug 2010 07:58:56 +0000 Hunter F. Thompson 30929@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p><em> ‘of course there will be a price to pay, but that’s how protection rackets work.’</em></p> <p>Best line. More fives. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=11304#post-30923 Mon, 30 Aug 2010 07:26:33 +0000 Ludicity 30923@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Many thanks. Curiously enough I spent my childhood in the East End and my dad did know the Kray family - of course he doesn't like me talking about his gangland past. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=11304#post-30892 Sun, 29 Aug 2010 17:23:15 +0000 Hunter F. Thompson 30892@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>It is brilliant. I was thinking about the Krays the other night, because there's a clip of a beeb interview which was the all time favorite of a friend, particularly the tag-line at the end, very Greta Garbo, it used to give him interminable fits of helpless laughter. That said, I might've oversold it. It's on YouTube. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=11304#post-30885 Sun, 29 Aug 2010 16:03:36 +0000 Ostsee 30885@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I concur </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=11304#post-30884 Sun, 29 Aug 2010 15:51:18 +0000 StoopyDeGunt 30884@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>This is brilliant!!</p> <p>Are you sure your parents didn't give you any help?</p> <p>No, no, don't get me wrong. It's just that it's an exceptional piece of work. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=11304#post-30873 Sun, 29 Aug 2010 13:29:00 +0000 Ludicity 30873@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>A pair of cloned Kray twins is to be released into the East End of London as part of a new conservation project aimed at restoring law and order. </p> <p>‘The locals are always saying how things were better when the Krays were in charge,’ said Home Secretary Theresa May, ‘well now we have an opportunity to test that theory.’</p> <p>This is the first time that Krays will have been released into the wild since the last pair was taken into captivity in 1969. ‘We are hoping that reintroducing Ronnie and Reggie into the area will put an end to petty crime,’ said the Home Secretary, ‘of course there will be a price to pay, but that’s how protection rackets work.’ </p> <p>The clones, created from DNA extracted from the original Kray twins, have been nurtured at a secret gangland conservation park, cared for by surrogate mother Barbara Windsor and raised on a diet on Jack ‘the Hat’ McVitie’s biscuits.</p> <p>‘I can’t wait to see these wonderful creatures back in their natural habitat,’ said conservationist Bill Oddie, ‘what a privilege it will be to watch them as they follow their natural instincts towards arson, armed robbery and pub-based murder. I have already set up a hide, and I suspect many others will be doing the same.’</p> <p>‘Things will be just like the good old days,’ said one delighted Bethnal Green resident, ‘you always knew where you were with the Krays, even it was pinned up against a wall with a knife to your throat.’ </p> <p>However, some experts believe that the arrival of the twins could upset London’s delicate gangland ecosystem. ‘It will be like the grey squirrels all over again,’ warned naturalist Chris Packham, ‘the Krays will squeeze out the native species of hoodlum as they start to move in on their turf. Before long they will totally dominate the area.’</p> <p>‘Don’t worry, we’ve thought of that,’ said Home Office advisor ‘Mad’ Frankie Fraser, ‘To keep them in check we will also be introducing a cloned Richardson Gang. Nothing can possibly go wrong.’ </p>