http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/tags.php?tag=wrestling The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Wed, 19 Jun 2013 00:15:11 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=55290#post-167803 Wed, 13 Mar 2013 12:42:23 +0000 AReader 167803@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>His employer sacked him for saving children's lives while on leave for stress. What a bunch of cunts. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=55290#post-167787 Wed, 13 Mar 2013 11:37:56 +0000 theinvisiblecitychannels 167787@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Wow this is back in the news as the guy has lost his job after having been seen wrestling a shark...i thought I could add to the old story.</p> <p>Jobless shark wrestling superstar to take on Octopus </p> <p>Welsh wrestling star Paul Marshallsea now has more time to continue his shallow water wrestling career, news that has been greeted with total indifference by bathing children everywhere. Paul was made jobless when employers saw him choke out a shark on the internet while he was on a two week tour of Australia that saw him pin a cuttlefish lay a smackdown on a shark and take on three dolphins in a ladder match all to packed beaches full of terrified onlookers. “it’s hard but I do it for the kids and the love of beating fish to death with my bare hands”.</p> <p>Responding to comments that the sport caused unnecessary mental suffering...to watching children Paul commented “It’s about respect isn’t it, you can’t have marine life swimming around thinking they own the bloody place”.</p> <p>Making use of his new found freedom Paul's next opponent is an octopus in the big reef tank at the Anglesey sea-life centre (available on sky box office), the hell-in-a-cell cage match, it is hoped the spectacle of a man attempting a 7 arm arm bar on a giant polypus will prove a sell out.</p> <p>A spokesman from the Department for Work and Pensions said "We understand Paul has found gainful employment wrestling sharks and will be removing any benefits he may be entitled to immediately". </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=55290#post-159872 Sat, 26 Jan 2013 14:37:09 +0000 Dick Everyman 159872@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p><strong>It's topical but has no real theme. </strong></p> <p>It may not have legs but it's got fins. I saw the wrestling shark story and the 'nearly' drowned Australian kid in the flood story too, so there's scope for some downunder themes. </p> <p>Maybe your fellow biscuiteers could help develop it further? I'm off out otherwise I'd jump in! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=55290#post-159772 Fri, 25 Jan 2013 16:23:07 +0000 theinvisiblecitychannels 159772@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>News that sporting hero Owen Davies will continue his shallow water wrestling career has been greeted with total indifference by bathing children everywhere. Owen greeted fans at Cardiff airport yesterday after a two week tour of Australia that saw him pin a cuttlefish lay a smackdown on a shark and take on three dolphins in a ladder match all to packed beaches full of terrified onlookers. “it’s hard but I do it for the kids and the love of beating fish to death with my bare hands”.</p> <p>Responding to comments that the sport caused unnecessary mental suffering...to watching children Owen commented “It’s about respect isn’t it, you can’t have marine life swanning around thinking they own the bloody place”. </p> <p>Owen’s next opponent is an octopus in the big reef tank at the Anglesey sea-life centre (available on sky box office), the hell-in-a-cell cage match is already a sell out and it is hoped the spectacle of a man attempting a 7 arm arm bar on a giant polypus will finally bring the lesser known sport of ‘aquatic sea-life wrestling’ the recognition it deserves and possibly Olympic status in time for Rio 2016. When asked if the sport would be given Olympic status along with lobster curling, manatee dressage and kite surfing the IOC said ‘will it f*ck’.</p> <p>Another go at a sort of sport story, this time inspired by the BBC who seem to be trying to get at least one story featuring Australia on the news every week of late. It's topical but has no real theme. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=11537#post-31478 Thu, 02 Sep 2010 10:21:19 +0000 Jaffacakes 31478@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Baby you're so Hague, you probably think this sub is about him. It is. Well it was. Then it became something else. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=11537#post-31477 Thu, 02 Sep 2010 10:18:52 +0000 Jaffacakes 31477@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Top professional wrestler 'The Bald Boss' has come out today to deny rumours of an 'inappropriate' relationship with fellow wrestler 'Ring Monster'.</p> <p>The Bald Boss addressed reporters wearing his usual costume of Union Jack speedos, in order to end 'the terrible rumours that have plagued my professional career. I am not gay! I'm happily married to a lovely eastern European woman, and I just want to concentrate on my career, pulling off the moves you all love to see, the ring pull, the iron fist, and the reach around.'</p> <p>'Wrestling is probably the most manly macho career going. Does that make me gay? Yeah right.' The Bald Boss then rubbed baby oil over himself in preparation for an imminent match.</p> <p>The allegations arose after Ring Monster resigned today from the league they both are contracted to, 'WAW: Wrestling Association Wrestling'. Ring Monster and The Bald Boss had been sharing a hotel room on a recent tour of Japan, and the chemistry was 'undeniable' said a source. 'In the ring they were going at each other hammer and tongues.'</p> <p>Critics of the sport point to the back room negotiations that many in the job do in order to get ahead of each other. These deals, colloquially called 'back door deals', have cast Ring Monster's departure in a shady light.</p> <p>Homosexuality is known to be widespread throughout the sport, but often denied in public for fear of upsetting traditional fans. A few wrestlers are open about the issue, such as 'The Prince of Darkness' who admitted his sexual orientation whilst accepting the 2009 Royal Gang Bang Trophy. Despite this, many wrestlers struggle to reconcile their personal and private lives. 'This is an utterly backwards situation for 2010' said the Prince of Darkness. 'What is it about homosexuality that repulses our fanbase of troubled teenage males?'</p> <p>'Why can't two semi-nude men grapple and roll around on the floor if one or both of them is gay?' he asked. 'How does sexuality come into that? Let's just be wide open about it. Let's blow it all out in the open. Besides, it's just a job, we are all doing our hardest. Now if you'll excuse me, this man here is not going to get choke slammed all by himself.' </p>