http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/tags.php?tag=wind The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Mon, 20 May 2013 11:52:49 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=34616#post-97901 Sat, 26 Nov 2011 23:02:10 +0000 rickwestwell 97901@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Brilliant. Guaranteed FP, if there's any sense in this crazy world. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=34616#post-97816 Fri, 25 Nov 2011 23:46:33 +0000 Vertically Challenged Giant 97816@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Good work </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=34616#post-97801 Fri, 25 Nov 2011 22:34:46 +0000 FlashArry 97801@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Very, very good - stars </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=34616#post-97775 Fri, 25 Nov 2011 18:56:20 +0000 Gary Stanton 97775@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Thank you gentlemen. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=34616#post-97736 Fri, 25 Nov 2011 14:42:12 +0000 waylandsmithy 97736@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Nice. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=34616#post-97727 Fri, 25 Nov 2011 14:04:48 +0000 greg various 97727@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Like it a lot Gary, especially the line "fully operational wind turbine". What would be the definition of that I wonder? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=34616#post-97726 Fri, 25 Nov 2011 13:49:50 +0000 Gary Stanton 97726@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Iran is facing growing international condemnation after the international wind energy watchdog (IWEA) revealed the country is on course to have a fully operational wind turbine by the end of 2012. The IEWA report concluded there was evidence that Iran had embarked on a credible programme of wind technology and that the country had repeatedly sought to acquire the raw materials for production including solenoids, rivets and large rotary blades. </p> <p>The hard-line regime, however, insists its wind energy programme is purely for civilian purposes and is essential if it is to meet its target of twenty percent of energy production from renewables by the end of 2030. The controversial programme has reignited the fears of conservationists across the region that Iran is hell-bent on creating a series of highly unattractive wind farms that would have a detrimental effect on the entirely barren featureless landscape and the region as a whole. </p> <p>Experts believe the Iranian turbine could produce in excess if 80KWh, a fraction of the energy unleashed at Hiroshima, depending on exactly how windy it is. And sources claim it could be switched on in less than forty five minutes. Meanwhile, Iran’s neighbours have complained that its presence could seriously destabilise the region or at least the bit of ground that it stands on.</p> <p>The news has sparked growing fears of a green energy ‘arms race‘ across the Middle East with Israel already threatening to retaliate with a pre-emptive programme of gigantic solar panels targeted directly at Iran. The plan is to catch the sunlight by wiggling these about from side to side in a really annoying fashion. Yet many analysts believe it will make little difference and that the prospect of a world in which an Islamic turbine operates at two hundred revolutions per minute is now a foregone conclusion.<br /> Ali Al Chakrabati , a spokesman for the regime last night hit back at critics claiming, </p> <p>‘The forty five minute claim is a nonsense propagated by pig-dog Zionists and their cronies in the White House. It takes at least that long to power the generator up. Besides – I didn’t hear anyone complain when Israel erected that great big mobile phone mast right next to the Gaza Strip.’ He added, ‘The people’s wind turbine will significantly reduce our carbon emissions and there’s every chance that this is one success that could go absolutely nuclear.’</p> <p>‘Shit. What am I saying?’ </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=12183#post-33432 Mon, 13 Sep 2010 21:41:45 +0000 Gary Stanton 33432@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>As autumn enforces its vice-like grip on the UK, the public were put on alert last night as the first Atlantic depression of the season is expected to make landfall near Cornwall sometime around the morning rush hour. </p> <p>The depression, known to forecasters as ‘Low 998 mb’, and currently situated just to the west of Galway, started out as a small disturbance in the atmosphere in the region of Newfoundland and has been gathering pace ever since to the point where it has been classified as a “proper weather system” . </p> <p>At the time of reporting, “Low 998”, as she has since been cheekily dubbed, has sustained wind speeds of twenty miles per hour with occasional gusts up to twenty five and is causing the sea to become ‘quite choppy’ , accompanied by dank piss-congested skies.</p> <p>Risking public scorn following the Met Office’s failed barbecue summer forecast, veteran forecaster, Thomas Schafernaker, was keen to warn the public against complacency: </p> <p>‘There are some nasty fronts associated with this system and some areas could see up to two inches of rain, possibly three over higher ground ,where showers may have a bit of sleet mixed in, ‘ adding :</p> <p>‘We’re keeping our eye on this one. That is to say - more than one eye - seeing as there are quite a few of us here.’</p> <p>Meanwhile traffic has been building up on the A5 in Devon as people queue to flee the rain, some of which is expected to be “steady” or fall in “longer bursts”. </p> <p>Thomas Carr of Bude, who was sat in a two-mile tailback, whinged : ‘I’m old enough to remember October last year when “Low 993” hit and resulted in our garden becoming severely waterlogged. And the wind was howling around our cottage so much that I could barely hear Christine Bleakely on the One Show. It’s certainly something that neither I nor my family should have to live through again.’</p> <p>And with “Low 998” expected to cause some localised flooding in low-lying regions, a Rivers Authority spokesman said: </p> <p>‘If you’re planning some kind of grandiose insurance scam, now’s the time to take the expensive stuff upstairs or leave it with a disreputable family member. ’ </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=9622#post-26050 Mon, 02 Aug 2010 21:38:06 +0000 Mrblacker 26050@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>In an attempt to crack down on speeding drivers, the ruling council on the Isle of Wight has appointed its first Road Safety Team.</p> <p>Made up for three police officers, the squad consists of sketch artist PC David Harris, Sergeant Andrew Davies, who leads the team, and PC Michaela Smith to make the tea.</p> <p>The plan is for Harris to stand guard on the island's fastest stretch of road, known locally as 'The Road', and for him to draw representations of those caught breaking the speed limit of 7 chains an hour.</p> <p>"I'm pretty good with the charcoal" says PC Harris "and everyone says I do a pretty good picture. My speciality is trees."</p> <p>But the scheme's under fire from local protestors who say in it's first week of operation, the Road Safety Team has failed to issue a single ticket, even though there were 34 collisions and 94 deaths.</p> <p>"I admit we've had a few teething problems" Sgt Davies told reporters "but those accidents happened at night, it was a windy week and PC Harris' candle kept blowing out."</p> <p>"We can't be held responsible for natural disasters, even though 24 people died when PC Smith did a 21 point turn in her two horse power cart while she delivered a steaming mug to PC Harris, causing a multiple stagecoach low speed crash." </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=65#post-285 Fri, 19 Feb 2010 23:29:12 +0000 The All New Jeni B 285@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>It's just a pity that everything else gets weaker. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=65#post-284 Fri, 19 Feb 2010 22:22:28 +0000 malgor 284@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>'The older you get, the stronger the wind gets.' (Picasso) </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=65#post-283 Fri, 19 Feb 2010 22:10:58 +0000 sauce 283@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>If you can feel the wind in your hair, be even more nervous. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=65#post-281 Fri, 19 Feb 2010 19:39:23 +0000 The All New Jeni B 281@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>As Mr B insists that this is a sign of affection, I will be even more nervous now. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=65#post-259 Fri, 19 Feb 2010 14:56:36 +0000 rikkor 259@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Some of us call that a "dutch oven" in the US. To do it correctly, you have to pull the covers over the head of the victim. Much like that fellow who offed his AIDS-y boyfriend. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=65#post-241 Fri, 19 Feb 2010 10:03:27 +0000 The All New Jeni B 241@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Aw, bless. Mr B, however, is the wind beneath my duvet. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=65#post-238 Thu, 18 Feb 2010 23:59:50 +0000 rikkor 238@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I have made it to the blue box. You are all the wind beneath my wings. </p>