http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/tags.php?tag=wedding-gown The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Sat, 25 May 2013 14:30:37 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=35254#post-99476 Tue, 06 Dec 2011 14:17:41 +0000 A.Parody 99476@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <br /> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=34419#post-97504 Thu, 24 Nov 2011 00:14:14 +0000 FlashArry 97504@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Snort the salt, bite the marker, lick the lemon</p> <p>Salt the lemon, eat the marker, pass out </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=34419#post-97497 Wed, 23 Nov 2011 23:49:05 +0000 FlashArry 97497@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Needs salt.<br /> Bite the lemon, snort the marker, lick the salt </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=34419#post-97492 Wed, 23 Nov 2011 22:32:02 +0000 The All New Jeni B 97492@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>No, no, no. You're all so wrong.<br /> Clearly what happened was that a lemon was having an affair with a grapefruit, and was en-route to a rendezvous in a TravelLodge when it realised that it's lime partner had just walked into the lobby. Diving into the lift, the lemon grabbed a permanent marker from a stationery salesman, and drew on a goatee and glasses in a bid to go incognito. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=34419#post-97484 Wed, 23 Nov 2011 21:07:59 +0000 Golgo13 97484@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Back up your brain - but not now. </p> <p>Or something. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=34419#post-97454 Wed, 23 Nov 2011 16:36:13 +0000 John Ffitch-Rucker 97454@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>The last time I opened a back-up CD I found my accounts from 2006, pre-recession; where did all my money go? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=34419#post-97437 Wed, 23 Nov 2011 13:41:22 +0000 ianslat 97437@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Sounds like an installation at Tate Modern to me. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=34419#post-97366 Tue, 22 Nov 2011 22:52:06 +0000 vertical 97366@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Cluedoesque but plausible Mr G.</p> <p>Could the mystery killer be obnoxious Keith Lemon with a magic marker in the lift? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=34419#post-97193 Tue, 22 Nov 2011 08:04:59 +0000 Gerontius 97193@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I’m pretty sure this is about an incident involving Hercule Poirot and his secretary Miss Lemon.<br /> Poirot receives a call from Inspector Japp - there has been a murder on the top floor of the Gaumont Palace.<br /> Poirot is to meet the Inspector at the murder scene but as the lift approaches the top floor he realises he has forgotten to put on his false moustache.<br /> At the very last moment Miss Lemon whips out a magic marker from her handbag and draws on a false moustache...thus saving the day.<br /> There is another incident involving Miss Lemon in a lift with Poirot and a magic marker but that’s still under investigation and we can’t go into it just yet. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=34419#post-97191 Tue, 22 Nov 2011 01:45:50 +0000 fernandomando 97191@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I enjoyed writing this comment so much, I turned it into a sub </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=34419#post-97188 Tue, 22 Nov 2011 01:20:38 +0000 fernandomando 97188@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>It was obviously an idea for a film about a maverick rapid response graffiti cleaning company working for the local authority. The trailer would have gone something like this:</p> <p>All around him, rival cleaning firms utilised cheaper, but more environmentally harmful industrial solvents for the swift removal of various graffiti tags, but they did so at a cost. A minor cost to the local environment. It was too much for him to bear.<br /> He stood as the lone voice against the establishment. He risked everything he had to save a minor regional locality from the madness of industrial solvent abuse, instead choosing the natural power of lemons. Then SHE came into his life. He was busy in a lift removing graffiti that said 'Mandy Smith sucks cocks for 50p- IT'S TRUE, just call this number' when SHE got in the same lift as him.<br /> United by their mutual love of citric acid, soon they were busily cleaning up their pitiful town. They lived a happy and harmonious, if woefully naive and sheltered, life until THE COUNCIL decided to win political favour by ruthlessly cutting the minor cleaning services budget.</p> <p>This is a story of the magic of real life, of triumph over adversity, of cheaper, mass produced industrial solvents over expensive organic lemon juice pressed unsustainably to form uneconomic cleaning products. This is a story of the magic of life. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=34419#post-97182 Tue, 22 Nov 2011 00:16:09 +0000 FlashArry 97182@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>That's dead enigmatic, that. Just tack on a "More Soon" and see where the stream of consciousness takes it ........ </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=34419#post-97179 Tue, 22 Nov 2011 00:08:17 +0000 bonjonelson 97179@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I just found an old backup CD of mine dated 3rd June 2000, and on it is a word file containing notes for a screenplay I was trying to write (dated 15th September 1999)</p> <p>One of these notes simply says:</p> <p>"Lemon and permanent marker incident in lift"</p> <p>I wish I could remember what it was all about, does anyone have any good suggestions where to take that? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=30589#post-86098 Sat, 17 Sep 2011 11:08:35 +0000 vertical 86098@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Council warnings about a spoof letter have been put up in a council tower block. The letter, printed on fake council headed paper is apparently in protest at numerous petty complaints sent to tenants concerning naughty dogs, feeding birds etc. The letter states:</p> <p>'It has come to my attention many residents of Dudeney Lodge continue to be slaughtered in their beds at night and some of you have been eaten alive by zombies. Please note this sort of behaviour is completely unacceptable and those responsible are hereby reminded that such behaviour may be in contravention of their tenancy agreement which states (section 4.11) that all of you must try to behave yourselves as much as possible. Those found to be committing such brutal acts of slaughter and cannibalism will have a strongly worded letter from me or the housing department.'</p> <p>The council commented: 'We try to keep correspondence to a minimum and only send letters out to tenants with good reason. To date we have had no reports of any zombie activity in any of our housing' </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=299#post-868 Sun, 28 Feb 2010 18:34:41 +0000 ronseal 868@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p><a href="http://www.twitter.com/OhThisBloodyPC" rel="nofollow">http://www.twitter.com/OhThisBloodyPC</a> </p>