http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/tags.php?tag=weather The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Tue, 21 May 2013 20:58:35 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=54910#post-158667 Fri, 18 Jan 2013 09:59:52 +0000 Son of Barnabas 158667@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Yes, indeed! South West trains were so spooked by the thought of there being a flake or two of the "wrong kind of snow" that they decided yesterday to cancel half their trains today!</p> <p>A lot of people who hadn't heard in advance were standing around on the platform waiting for non existent trains, cancelled due to non-existent snow, and baffled by the tannoy announcements of "reduced number of trains in order to provide a better service"! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=54910#post-158648 Fri, 18 Jan 2013 09:27:50 +0000 house78 158648@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I haven't actually seen any news/weather warnings about the snow yet: but it feels liked have because of so many people talking about them on social media.</p> <p>People in Scotland have been saying things like "I don't think I can get out of my house due to the blanket of news coverage about snowfall the region is being subjected to." (@Jockspunge9) And while Scottish people are not afraid of ending a sentence on a preposition it is no reason to put ignore their snow media houseboundness.</p> <p>With the amount of rolling news to be dedicated to snowy conditions expected to peak tomorrow some business were already announcing that their offices would be closed to allow staff to remain safe at home, in front of the television - rather than struggling to watch it on their iPads on public transport with often cost-prohibitive 3G data.<br /> But it's not all about the general public trudging through the 24-hour rolling news coverage of meteorologists using lots of modal verbs to enforce that they're only speculating about the possibility that London could die as a result of a blizzard - if it was really, really bad. No, spare a thought for the presenters of the news and the weather reports. A BBC spokesman claimed the army could be called in to help maintain the high levels of reporting on the crisis. "We wouldn't have them on key areas like Breakfast or The One Show but we might have to have the forces come in to present weather reports and weather-based news items in the midnight-to-6am slot," said a press release.</p> <p>For some people the modern halt to which the country friends when there is 'a bit of snow on the news' makes them feel sick. My 103 year-old great uncle video-blogged, "It's pathetic what is considered a lot of news coverage of inclement weather. When I was a lad there might be five hours of news coverage of snow on the wireless but I'd leave the terraced slum I lived in and the trams and buses would still be running unaffected. And if not I would walk to work, barefoot, and still be three hours early. Now people think the coverage of snow is a lot if it lasts 20 minutes. I shed a tear at what has happened to this once great nation."</p> <p>My great-uncle, like many old people, is someone society needs to be mindful of in these times of heavy news coverage of cold weather. Labour MP Andy Burnham appeared to be near tears as he quoted electricity bills faced by some of his elderly constituents, generated by watching rolling news coverage of the cold weather snap across the TV channels. "Why not have an elderly neighbour around to watch the weather at your house for a couple of hours? Even that could be enough to help them pay their TV license," said a visibly moved Burnham - speaking from the abandoned shell of a pop-up HMV store. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=54757#post-158131 Wed, 16 Jan 2013 10:47:36 +0000 beau-jolly 158131@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>On the other hand I laughed my big woolly socks off! I know its wrong but genuine guffaw. Starrage despite the fact that we don't yet know whether any English people were involved. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=54757#post-158101 Wed, 16 Jan 2013 09:39:31 +0000 Lens Cap 158101@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I'm a great believer in letting the bodies go cold before I take the piss. Maybe just me and my old fashioned views </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=54757#post-158097 Wed, 16 Jan 2013 09:21:21 +0000 johnnydobbo 158097@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Bright but chilly. Highs of 6C. Cloudy with a chance of rotary, VTOL aircraft. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=50875#post-146587 Wed, 31 Oct 2012 09:03:46 +0000 Squudge 146587@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>ta - I don't think I'd object if Teresa May let this one go </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=50875#post-146583 Wed, 31 Oct 2012 08:45:37 +0000 Sinnick 146583@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Great ticker, Squudge. No-one else seems to have noticed </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=50875#post-146581 Wed, 31 Oct 2012 08:23:04 +0000 Idiot 146581@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>...and his daughter Courtney. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=50875#post-146580 Wed, 31 Oct 2012 08:05:05 +0000 nickb 146580@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Haha fish </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=50875#post-146509 Tue, 30 Oct 2012 20:51:52 +0000 Squudge 146509@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>yay. I got a ticker.<br /> (happy face after a rubbish day) </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=50875#post-146445 Tue, 30 Oct 2012 12:28:06 +0000 Squudge 146445@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>...more soon </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=44873#post-128413 Tue, 03 Jul 2012 11:57:43 +0000 button 128413@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I like it! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=44873#post-128410 Tue, 03 Jul 2012 11:37:05 +0000 Oxbridge 128410@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Priests from the temple of the Aztec night god Tezcatlipoca at Tenochtitlan in Mexico have been gloating at the discomfiture of the British public as the Wimbledon championships are being held up by persistent rain. They now feel their view that at least 2,000 human sacrifices are needed every day to make the sun rise is now proven.</p> <p>‘Life is because of the gods. With their sacrifice they gave us life. Everything in the universe – sun, moon, stars, Adele, tinned ravioli – comes from that sacrifice,’ said the discarnate soul of Ixaccihuatl, fornmer chief priest at Tenochtitlan, speaking via Derek Acorah on Loose Women. ‘We told the Spanish conquistadors as much in 1519, they didn't listen either and now their banks are screwed. Serves you all right.’</p> <p>Under the Aztec Empire, constant wars were fought against neigbouring tribes to provide sacrifices to Tezcatlipoca and the sun god Huitzilopochtl, thus ensuring that the sun continued to circle the Earth. Londoners concerned about the prospect of a damp Olympics are being urged to capture and sacrifice the requisite number from East Anglia every day, as it is unlikely anyone would notice.</p> <p>‘When we sacrificed to Huitzilopochtli, the victim would be placed on a sacrificial stone, then the priest would cut through the abdomen with an obsidian blade. The heart would be torn out still beating and held towards the sky and the body would be given to the warrior responsible for the capture of the victim, who would either send the parts to other important men as an offering or eat them,’ explained Ixaccihuatl. ‘A bit like every night in Newcastle, then.’ </p> <p>Without a constant supply of victims, the Aztecs believed, the 52-year cycle of life on Earth could come to an end. Some fear that this could happen this very year, which comes exactly 52 years after the Lady Chatterley trial and the last time Wolves won the FA Cup. The Daily Express is believed to be planning a three-page feature article on the subject next week, unless Kate Middleton puts on a new dress in the interim. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=44440#post-128142 Sat, 30 Jun 2012 09:57:24 +0000 button 128142@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Very good </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=44440#post-128080 Fri, 29 Jun 2012 18:31:37 +0000 simonhansen 128080@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>:) </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=44440#post-128076 Fri, 29 Jun 2012 17:36:59 +0000 charlies_hat 128076@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>According to the BBC, sounds like April and May have popped over for wet 3 way action! Have a bump, this is ticker material for sure. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=44440#post-127909 Thu, 28 Jun 2012 14:56:28 +0000 simonhansen 127909@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Oh yeah, that horse has bolted. It didn't even occur to me get a receipt. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=44440#post-127844 Thu, 28 Jun 2012 07:31:44 +0000 Sinnick 127844@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Crowd not particularly tough, except on the occasional freak.</p> <p>Ticker material is subject to the whims of Lord O'Farrell. Sometimes a really obvious sub is overlooked, occasionally something really obscure gets chosen.</p> <p>Have you tried bribery or sexual favours yet ? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=44440#post-127842 Thu, 28 Jun 2012 06:50:41 +0000 simonhansen 127842@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Oh it's crude, for sure :). But it works. Don't see it on the ticker though. Tough crowd, right? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=44440#post-127725 Wed, 27 Jun 2012 08:03:59 +0000 Yikes 127725@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I'm ashamed to admit it took me a couple of passes to "get" this but when I did I choked on my green tea - felt a bit guilty laughing given the subject matter :) </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=44440#post-127722 Wed, 27 Jun 2012 07:36:39 +0000 simonhansen 127722@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Yay a small victory. I came back on expressly to grumble about never getting any feedback from you monsters. And YIKES, I know what you mean, it's rhythm's not perfect. 'June wettest for 100 years - handsome elderly neighbour to blame', that works. Thanks </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=44440#post-127259 Mon, 25 Jun 2012 11:30:23 +0000 Yikes 127259@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Could this be shortened slightly?</p> <p>June wettest for 100 years - handsome elderly neighbour to blame </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=44440#post-127172 Sun, 24 Jun 2012 20:09:15 +0000 FlashArry 127172@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>aaaaaaaah - oap-smut !<br /> 5 stars </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=44440#post-127171 Sun, 24 Jun 2012 20:08:56 +0000 Yikes 127171@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Ha ha! Very funny! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=44440#post-127167 Sun, 24 Jun 2012 19:33:13 +0000 simonhansen 127167@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>June is forecast to be wettest for 100 years. Handsome elderly neighbor to blame. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=44320#post-126822 Thu, 21 Jun 2012 22:02:54 +0000 Hurrumph 126822@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Clever and original. Keep 'em coming! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=44320#post-126802 Thu, 21 Jun 2012 17:51:56 +0000 The Masked Frog 126802@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Michael Fish may or may not have been charged with siphoning off the best weather and keeping it for himself. The controversial rainman come witch doctor has been taking advantage of his position to stash away the sunshine for his own enjoyment.</p> <p>Whilst most people have been cold and wet of recent weeks, Fish has allegedly been:</p> <p>SITTING in paddling pools<br /> BUILDING sand castles<br /> ENTERING donkey derbys<br /> SCOFFING ice cream.</p> <p>"I couldn't believe it", said a neighbour yesterday. "I was getting a proper soaking in my garden, but just over the fence the weather was gorgeous, and Fish was just sitting there in his sunglasses drinking Pims!"</p> <p>David Cameron was reported as saying, "There's no law against it, but its morally wrong. He's let us all down."</p> <p>It's alleged that Fish has been engaged in such activities since the late 1987 when he inadvertently caused a hurricane by removing the best weather from general consumption so he could have a barbecue.</p> <p> Police are anxious to point out that at this stage, no other weathermen are under suspicion. "He might feel he's entitled, but Fish will have to learn that probably no-one owns the weather." a police spokesman told us off the record.</p> <p>An inside source refused to comment. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=34624#post-97819 Sat, 26 Nov 2011 00:06:47 +0000 Vertically Challenged Giant 97819@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Like it </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=34624#post-97763 Fri, 25 Nov 2011 16:44:38 +0000 Ironduke 97763@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>nice for a ticker </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=34624#post-97759 Fri, 25 Nov 2011 16:01:26 +0000 apepper 97759@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>The meteological office has predicted that Britain will be in the grip of the most typical winter weather since records began. "We haven't had a typical December for many years.", explained a forecaster, when asked to clarify what was a "typical" December, he replied, "That's classified." </p>