http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/tags.php?tag=waitrose The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Wed, 19 Jun 2013 14:20:55 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=47990#post-138034 Thu, 13 Sep 2012 12:50:52 +0000 Midfield Diamond 138034@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Yeah, great sub, congrats on the FP. Made even better for me by the fact that I've got friends in Crowthorne who cannot say the county they live in without adding the 'Royal' prefix. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=47990#post-138025 Thu, 13 Sep 2012 09:44:33 +0000 gregle 138025@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Great article and setting the bar high for your first sub! Nice one. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=47990#post-138024 Thu, 13 Sep 2012 09:34:14 +0000 DustyBinLaden 138024@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Found it: <a href="http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=flounce" rel="nofollow">http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=flounce</a> </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=47990#post-138014 Thu, 13 Sep 2012 07:16:53 +0000 DustyBinLaden 138014@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>What's a flounce? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=47990#post-138013 Thu, 13 Sep 2012 07:16:27 +0000 waylandsmithy 138013@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I can't condone that.</p> <p>Great FP, nicely done! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=47990#post-138011 Thu, 13 Sep 2012 07:01:59 +0000 DustyBinLaden 138011@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Blimey. I'm a bit chuffed. Thanks everyone. What a lovely bunch of people. I'm off to the pub for an early morning sharpener. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=47990#post-138009 Thu, 13 Sep 2012 06:57:51 +0000 Sinnick 138009@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Fine FP, esp for a first attempt.</p> <p>btw, ignore all the nonsense that goes on here - we're just a big happy family really. Well, not a family as such. And most of us can be grumpy from time to time. But at least we're consistent. Some of the time. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=47990#post-138001 Thu, 13 Sep 2012 05:51:22 +0000 Gerontius 138001@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>chortled at the headline alone - then it got better and better.<br /> Yes, it's not going to be easy for Dusty to justify a flounce now.<br /> I think he may need a new cup hook soon </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=47990#post-137976 Wed, 12 Sep 2012 23:22:31 +0000 Ironduke 137976@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Heroic effort! Top ten, FP...why not just cut straight to flounce now? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=47990#post-137975 Wed, 12 Sep 2012 23:04:28 +0000 dvo4fun 137975@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>And it's straight in as FP. Cracking job Dusty </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=47990#post-137965 Wed, 12 Sep 2012 21:14:24 +0000 sigmund 137965@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Yes, very good. I suppose the Harrods car park would be out of the question... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=47990#post-137954 Wed, 12 Sep 2012 20:38:43 +0000 button 137954@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Blow me, your top of the top ten as well! Great first post. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=47990#post-137953 Wed, 12 Sep 2012 20:37:48 +0000 button 137953@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Yes very good, 5 stars </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=47990#post-137952 Wed, 12 Sep 2012 20:33:53 +0000 FlashArry 137952@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Nice take on the Dicky Three story - congrats </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=47990#post-137944 Wed, 12 Sep 2012 20:21:15 +0000 charlies_hat 137944@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Yep, very good. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=47990#post-137942 Wed, 12 Sep 2012 20:06:24 +0000 Perks 137942@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Really good. 5*s </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=47990#post-137939 Wed, 12 Sep 2012 19:45:55 +0000 DustyBinLaden 137939@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I didn't get where I am today (which isn't that far) by not listening to good advice from folks like waylandsmithy, so I've dropped the 4x4 stuff. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=47990#post-137936 Wed, 12 Sep 2012 19:26:44 +0000 Golgo13 137936@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Excellent. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=47990#post-137930 Wed, 12 Sep 2012 19:01:13 +0000 dvo4fun 137930@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Gets my vote also. " My husband Joe is going to shout ‘I love you The Queen’ from the pub over the road and throw a terracotta window box onto the bonnet of the hearse.”- lovely, as was 'funeral of a lifetime' </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=47990#post-137926 Wed, 12 Sep 2012 18:56:58 +0000 DustyBinLaden 137926@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Thanks. First attempt. Thought I'd give it a go. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=47990#post-137924 Wed, 12 Sep 2012 18:54:52 +0000 waylandsmithy 137924@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Love it! Some great ideas in this! </p> <p>I thought the 4x4 reference detracted a bit, and taking it out would make the length about right for an FP. Nothing wrong with it, but that bit felt very 'well trodden'. </p> <p>Love the idea of slowly driving round, looking for a burial site! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=47990#post-137917 Wed, 12 Sep 2012 18:40:58 +0000 DustyBinLaden 137917@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>In a surprise announcement by Buckingham Palace, the Queen has asked to be interred in a new royal crypt built beneath the Crowthorne branch of upmarket food store Waitrose, ten miles from Windsor.</p> <p>A Palace spokesperson said: “Moved by the news that Richard III was buried by Leicester City Council in 1485, Her Majesty is keen to reintroduce the medieval tradition of laying monarchs to rest beneath the car parks of municipal and commercial town centre landmarks.”</p> <p>The origins of the once popular tradition are unknown, although archaeologist Professor Steve Nicholls from the University of Leicester said that it might have had something to do with the peace and tranquillity of 15th century car parks.</p> <p>“As far as we can tell there were no cars at the time,” commented Professor Nicholls, “so it was pretty much ‘take your pick’ as far as burial plots went. Given that our funeral directors spend hours driving slowly around car parks waiting for a burial space, the notion may seem strange to us, but in medieval Britain it would have been commonplace.”</p> <p>The prospect of a royal funeral taking place in the small town of Crowthorne has already got the usual cohort of emotionally two-dimensional, simple-minded royal fans flushed with excitement.</p> <p>Royal memorabilia collector Rose Owen is a Crowthorne resident. “It will be the funeral of a lifetime,” said Owen. “I’m hoping to be interviewed by the local media about my Thermos flask that once belonged to Ethelred the Unready. My husband Joe is going to shout ‘I love you The Queen’ from the pub over the road and throw a terracotta window box onto the bonnet of the hearse.”</p> <p>Twenty-five local volunteer ‘Funeralmakers’ will welcome the world’s press, heads of state, presidents and prime ministers, and an expected crowd of half a million mourners. Gary’s PyroManiax Events, from nearby Yately, is to put on a largely firework-based opening ceremony. “I’ve got this fuck off Roman Candle that burns for half an hour,” said Gary. </p> <p>Waitrose manager Tim Upshot says the store is ready. “Bernard who looks after trolleys is coming in on his day off, which means he’s giving up 85p in earnings.” </p> <p>Prince Charles, who is rumoured to have already started the royal hearse when he heard the news, declined to comment on his own internment wishes as he backed the car up to the Queen’s living quarters and punched the air repeatedly while Camilla giggled uncontrollably and bibbed the hooter. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=44008#post-125873 Tue, 12 Jun 2012 16:46:52 +0000 hardev 125873@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Police are investigating a “reverse” robbery at a Waitrose supermarket in Cardiff after five men reportedly broke into the store and left affordable items on the shelves…<br /> One witness, Fifi said the robbers shouted obscenities such as “cheaper than Poundland” and “Pocket the difference? I could buy Tesco’s Finest Range now” at the manager before driving off in a car that was later identified by the Police as a Ford Escort 1.6i Sports Edition Lx.</p> <p>She said a tannoy announcement ordered the closure of the aisle, at about 11:00 BST so that Waitrose’s pretentious customers would not accidentally stumble across the items.<br /> Conrad, a regular customer said “I went down the aisle before it was closed off and found milk, eggs, bread, tofu, horseradish, Potato Dauphinoise, Lobster, Beef Châteaubriand and other everyday items at less than the usual prices” When Conrad was asked what he meant by “less than usual prices” he continued “Well, too be honest I’m not sure how much milk is, but I’m sure it shouldn’t be that much?”</p> <p>Police are working with Waitrose to identify and capture the gang as soon so that these crimes do not spread to other stores.</p> <p>Conrad is receiving therapy. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=30548#post-86039 Fri, 16 Sep 2011 17:22:03 +0000 writinginbsl 86039@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>funny<br /> stars</p> <p>i thought he stayed in hotels though </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=30548#post-85982 Fri, 16 Sep 2011 13:40:55 +0000 rikkor 85982@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I love Meat? PLC, too. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=30548#post-85969 Fri, 16 Sep 2011 12:50:09 +0000 Vertically Challenged Giant 85969@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I've read the lizard bit about 7 times now, and it still makes me smile. And I'm walking round the office occasionally just grinning to myself as I think about it. Really good stuff. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=30548#post-85966 Fri, 16 Sep 2011 12:40:21 +0000 dvo4fun 85966@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Sorry. Can't help asking - would he have to choke the lizard? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=30548#post-85960 Fri, 16 Sep 2011 12:29:56 +0000 Golgo13 85960@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Stretching the definition of "recipe" but I saw him stick a rubber tube up his arse and "drink" dirty water rectally to stay hydrated when the only water available would make you sick.</p> <p>So the scenario is he's forgotten to bring clean water, but he <em>has</em> at least remembered his rubber-tube-and-funnel field enema kit.</p> <p>Sounds like at some level <em>someone</em> wanted this kind of thing to happen...</p> <p>"Lads...I've...ha-ha...you won't believe this...I've, er, only gone and left the clean water back at camp...<br /> ...I know...we're going to need to do something to stay hydrated, but...</p> <p>...no wait! Hang on...I think I might have a rubber tube and a...yes! I've got a rubber tube and a funnel in my rucksack! Thirsty?" </p> <p>I bet the camera crew were sipping bottles of evian, mind. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=30548#post-85936 Fri, 16 Sep 2011 10:54:22 +0000 Qoxiivi 85936@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Cheers VCG - that's actually my favourite bit too (fucking quality badger FP bt the way). Textbook - have added consumption of one's own piss into the Red Squirrel recipe. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=30548#post-85935 Fri, 16 Sep 2011 10:51:44 +0000 Vertically Challenged Giant 85935@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Yep, great stuff. Particularly like 'A lizard' recipe. </p>