http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/tags.php?tag=wags The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Sun, 19 May 2013 00:59:41 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=26714#post-73198 Mon, 20 Jun 2011 20:12:41 +0000 Ironduke 73198@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Excellent sub, 5 stars, and a lecherous thought for the FP illustration of ladies in netball skirts... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=26714#post-73146 Mon, 20 Jun 2011 13:18:04 +0000 Vertically Challenged Giant 73146@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Good stuff. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=26714#post-73142 Mon, 20 Jun 2011 13:09:05 +0000 Oxbridge 73142@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>As England's 16-woman netball squad gets ready for the World Cup in Singapore in July, the nation should be asking if England's pacy attack can counter the height advantage of Jamaica and Malawi to carry off a first world title. Instead, they are worrying that excessive media attention to the so-called HABs, the husbands and boyfriends of the players, could undermine team harmony.</p> <p>'It's sadly typical,' said Brenda Wright of Netball Fans United. 'When Tamsin Greenway of the Hertfordshire Mavericks is named England vice-captain and Co-Operative Netball Superleague Player of the Year on the same day, it barely gets mentioned. But just because she happens to go out with one of the most successful self-employed plasterers in Watford, he's all over the papers.'</p> <p>Recent injuries to key squad players meant a late call-up for Team Bath Wing Attack Lindsey Keble. However, many tabloids have preferred to focus on the fact that Keble, who has been granted unpaid leave from her teaching job and clears nearly £600 per week before tax, has quite a good-looking husband. Repeated catcalls from some fans to 'give him one for us' have reportedly left Keble near to a nervous breakdown.</p> <p>England Centre and captain Karen Atkinson has been sheltered to some degree by refusing to appear in celebrity magazines and staying single. However, she is worried that all the attention on HABs may cause a backlash if the team does not do well in Singapore. She is particularly concerned about the youngest squad member, Goal Defence Naomi Siddall.</p> <p>'Naomi's other half is a nice enough bloke and apparently a very capable surveyor,' said Atkinson, 'but if I read another article about where he buys his aftershave and how may George at Asda shirts he has, I think I'm going to throw up my white wine spritzner. Honestly, I'd feel sorry for her if her legs didn't look so much nicer than mine in a pleated skirt, the jammy cow.' </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=773#post-2049 Thu, 11 Mar 2010 14:32:31 +0000 jp1885 2049@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Inner city gangs are increasingly eschewing dangerous dogs as status symbols for so-called 'trophy wives', the latest crime statistics have revealed.</p> <p>According to one Brixton community support officer, this latest trend is an example of the continuing evolution of the average street gangs' arsenal of weaponry. 'When law-enforcement agencies stamped out knife crime these thugs turned to bull terriers and the like, but with new dangerous dog legislation in the pipeline, any gang member worth his salt nowadays will more than likely have an overly tanned dolly bird to defend his turf.'</p> <p>Doctor's surgeries and drop-in clinics throughout Britain's less affluent areas have reported a sharp rise in suspicious injuries among attractive, recently married young women. 'We see dozens every day,' one health professional revealed, 'each bearing the same tell-tale scratches, bite marks and bald patches where their hair has been pulled. But as most of them are brought in by mother or sister-in-laws, we're rarely able to prosecute the owners.'</p> <p>Experts believe that the problem is being exacerbated by the amount of eligible women flooding the black market following the recent collapse of the WAG trade. 'Being a footballer's wife isn’t the big thing it once was,' explained a leading sociologist, 'after going through the team like a dose of salts, WAGs are being dumped by players before the tabloids get wind of what's going on - it's only natural that these abandoned creatures seek the company of other thugs.'</p> <p>'You gotta get yourself a woman innit? You ain't nuffink unless you've got a missus protecting you.' Notorious gang member 'X-Boi' told a newspaper reporter recently. 'It's for protection yeah? If some guy comes up tryin' to muscle in, you set the wife on 'im. Tell her it was 'im wot nicked her Dolce an' Gabbana handbag an' pawned it for money to buy skunk, an' watch her fly! Plus you get a great shag afterwards - you wouldn't get that wiv no pit bull!' </p>