http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/tags.php?tag=vote The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Fri, 24 May 2013 23:26:41 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=57810#post-167636 Tue, 12 Mar 2013 19:11:12 +0000 pinxit 167636@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>The three islanders who voted for Argentine rule of The Falklands in yesterday's referendum have been tracked down and unmasked.</p> <p>From the haven of Port Stanley prison they have given very different reasons for their choice.</p> <p>Bachelor farmer Des Barnes, 49, was hoping for a fresh intake of "dusky hot-blooded latino maidens" on the island, as "my chances of meeting a decent bit of scrannet over here is zero and I'm getting bloody frustrated. Besides, my ewes are getting pretty bolshy nowadays."</p> <p>Portly civil servant Charles Champion, 58, an avid gourmet, said he made his decision because he's "fed up of a diet of horse and mutton," and hankers to eat "real top-quality prime Argentinian beef."</p> <p>The third dissenter, Darren Larrikin 19, said 'I was pissed when I voted and did it for a laugh."</p> <p>All three are expected to remain in detention, for their own safety, for at least ten years. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=54147#post-156336 Fri, 04 Jan 2013 19:15:47 +0000 Tripod 156336@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p><blockquote>a vow of promiscuity</blockquote></p> <p>Good stuff. Stars... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=54147#post-156332 Fri, 04 Jan 2013 19:04:09 +0000 Matt T 156332@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>In an historic move the gay community has voted to extend membership to Anglican Bishops as long as they repent of their beliefs and take a vow of promiscuity.</p> <p>The move has caused controversy among hardline gays such as Wayne Trenton of campaign group Bash the Bishops: “Everyone knows that Church of England clergy live miserable tormented lives, compulsively indulging in unnatural practices such as praying to their non-existent sky-friends, pretending to drink blood, and hosting coffee mornings,” he said.</p> <p>“Clearly there’s no place for these weirdos in the gay community which has always prided itself on far more wholesome pursuits such as sniffing poppers, sucking off strangers in parks, and worshipping Kylie Minogue.”</p> <p>But not everyone agrees with Trenton. Prominent pro-religious gay lobbyist, Jonathan Tolthorpe welcomed the vote, saying, “This is wonderful news. After all those bishops have some of the best drag around. I can’t wait to get into their closets! And boy do they have plenty of those.”</p> <p>Meanwhile the Catholic Church was more equivocal. Archbishop of Westminster, Vincent Nichols said, “I fucking hate gays. They fucking disgust me. They should be fucking killed. In this church we’re perfectly clear about the proper expression of sexual desire: just ask our altar boys.”</p> <p>Archbishop Nichols' new book The Gospel According to Jimmy Savile is published next week. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=52200#post-150263 Fri, 23 Nov 2012 18:07:58 +0000 Supremecourtjester 150263@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>The recent vote won by conservative members of the Church of England requiring that Bishops be males has caused the Church to do some soul searching, and also some searches between the belt and the knees. As a result the Oxford English Dictionary has added an additional definition to the entry for the word "bishopric." </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=10696#post-29213 Wed, 18 Aug 2010 08:34:18 +0000 ChrisHarrison 29213@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Deputy Leader of the Liberal Democrats, Simon Hughes, has launched a stinging rebuke, following media reports that he had claimed his Party should have a veto in Cabinet decisions.</p> <p>A puce-faced Mr Hughes raged, 'What I actually said was the Liberal Democrats should have a VOTE in Cabinet decisions. A veto indeed. You must think we're all crazy!'</p> <p>As the coalition government marks 100 days in office, the Lib Dems have faced renewed criticism for their apparent climbdowns over major policy issues. This is reflected in their poor performance in a recent opinion poll.</p> <p>Mr Hughes added, 'I wouldn't read too much into opinion polls at this stage. We all know that only one opinion matters, and that's David Cameron's. But if we can push the Alternative Voting idea through Cabinet, maybe one day we too can have a say.'</p> <p>Meanwhile, Party Leader and Deputy Prime Minister, Nick Clegg, will today unveil the Government's plans to reduce the gap between rich and poor, by making everyone equally bankrupt. </p>