http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/tags.php?tag=vatican The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Wed, 19 Jun 2013 21:19:43 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=60605#post-180944 Wed, 05 Jun 2013 12:14:12 +0000 Skylarking 180944@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I can confirm this, as am in office on 8th floor of Luton office and time is er... stretching out in front of me. Are you Lutonian then Arfur? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=60605#post-180928 Wed, 05 Jun 2013 09:04:47 +0000 Arthur 180928@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Two hours earlier than London time = 121.73 minutes earlier than Luton time (true). </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=60605#post-180927 Wed, 05 Jun 2013 08:57:02 +0000 Lindy Moone 180927@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>When I got up yesterday morning (2 hours earlier than London time) there was Spam spread lightly and evenly across all the tasty NewsBiscuits, including many seemingly stale ones. It disappeared later, thanks to the admins, I assume.</p> <p>So I never would have seen this old post, if not for the mass marketing on behalf of Louis Vuitton.</p> <p>Thanks for the link. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=60605#post-180925 Wed, 05 Jun 2013 08:52:06 +0000 Skylarking 180925@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>"Rocketed back to the stars by Spam!"</p> <p>Really? What happened Lindy? Do tell. </p> <p>Nothing on the 'all good atheists' thing (I think I know what you're referring to) though this by old FP regular NealDoran might tickle you: <a href="http://www.newsbiscuit.com/2010/01/12/pope-unites-with-dawkins-to-decree-%E2%80%98it%E2%80%99s-the-people-that-claim-to-be-%E2%80%98a-bit-spiritual%E2%80%99-that-are-the-real-pain-in-the-arses%E2%80%99/" rel="nofollow">http://www.newsbiscuit.com/2010/01/12/pope-unites-with-dawkins-to-decree-%E2%80%98it%E2%80%99s-the-people-that-claim-to-be-%E2%80%98a-bit-spiritual%E2%80%99-that-are-the-real-pain-in-the-arses%E2%80%99/</a> </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=60605#post-180886 Tue, 04 Jun 2013 23:32:37 +0000 brianflan 180886@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Quite brilliant Skylarking...this is the sort of thing that makes homecoming worthwhile...oh and battenburg.</p> <p>Take 5 naked Swiss Guards </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=60605#post-180772 Tue, 04 Jun 2013 05:34:28 +0000 Lindy Moone 180772@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Rocketed back to the stars by Spam! Which is good for me, since I didn't see this first time around. Did it get to the FP?</p> <p>There is so much to spoof re the Church. Sure, it's important to point when someone's caught repeatedly with their pants down, but too many "Altered Boys" stories gets in the way of overall cover(up)age.</p> <p>Did anyone do one on the 'all good atheists go to Heaven, oops just kidding' debacle? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=60605#post-176137 Wed, 01 May 2013 10:17:18 +0000 Lenny Bee 176137@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Very good and very original and nicely witty. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=60605#post-176129 Wed, 01 May 2013 08:24:30 +0000 Des Custard 176129@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Lovely FP Sky. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=60605#post-176091 Tue, 30 Apr 2013 20:03:59 +0000 butagirl 176091@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Fantastic stuff. Deserves FP status for sure. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=60605#post-176031 Tue, 30 Apr 2013 12:51:24 +0000 Sinnick 176031@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Fine piece of work, love the "Il Harvestore". Ego amare illud.</p> <p>Nice to see a different approach to satirising the Papacy, doesn't always have to be about paedophilia - there's plenty of time for that. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=60605#post-176011 Tue, 30 Apr 2013 09:59:21 +0000 Skylarking 176011@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>@titus Oops! Apologies. People get a bit touchy about these matters apparently. So I'm told... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=60605#post-176010 Tue, 30 Apr 2013 09:50:27 +0000 Wrenfoe 176010@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>It gets my vote - nice one! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=60605#post-176007 Tue, 30 Apr 2013 09:43:08 +0000 nickb 176007@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>bit of quality! Hooray. Who said satire is Brown Bread (geddit?) </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=60605#post-176005 Tue, 30 Apr 2013 09:35:12 +0000 Titus 176005@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>@Skylarking: not to worry - don't take <em>me</em> too seriously either! You make a valid point; repeated jokes about the the church's tradition of paedophilia get a bit tedious afer a while. There are plenty of other practices to condemn them for and I liked your initial post. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=60605#post-175998 Tue, 30 Apr 2013 09:06:46 +0000 Skylarking 175998@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I fear you may be taking me a bit too literally Titus. </p> <p>But, yes, there was a time when to write about the RC Church satirically meant writing about sexual abuse. But as I didn't have anything to say about that... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=60605#post-175995 Tue, 30 Apr 2013 08:55:24 +0000 Titus 175995@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>@Skylarking: in what way is it 'soooo last Papacy'? Have they stopped buggering choirboys, or have they stopped investigating and condemning the tradition? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=60605#post-175993 Tue, 30 Apr 2013 08:45:53 +0000 Skylarking 175993@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>"And not a mention of buggering choirboys, strange to say."</p> <p>Oh that's just soooo last Papacy daahlings. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=60605#post-175980 Tue, 30 Apr 2013 07:59:19 +0000 Oxbridge 175980@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Shurely 'Bergoglio'? Very nice though. And not a mention of buggering choirboys, strange to say. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=60605#post-175977 Tue, 30 Apr 2013 07:40:45 +0000 monkeyrepublic 175977@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Magic! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=60605#post-175971 Tue, 30 Apr 2013 06:42:17 +0000 Squudge 175971@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>VG - liked, and SirL is on to something re the cardinals - though I think they might plan to 'nail him' </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=60605#post-175942 Mon, 29 Apr 2013 21:45:59 +0000 Sir Lupus 175942@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>nice, esp the "Vatican insider". if those cardinals get any more pissed off, they might nail him up do you think? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=60605#post-175940 Mon, 29 Apr 2013 21:38:21 +0000 reforse 175940@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Great </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=60605#post-175938 Mon, 29 Apr 2013 21:34:02 +0000 Skylarking 175938@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Newly-enthroned Pope Francis is allegedly ‘pissing everybody off big time’ with his ‘low key, unostentatious manner and general Christlike humility of spirit’, according to Vatican insiders.</p> <p>The new Pope, born Jorge Mario Bergogli has been charming the media and public alike with his easy-going approachable manner and simple lifestyle. But this same absence of bloated pomp and crazed hubris is allegedly ‘wearing bloody thin’ among his colleagues at the Vat.</p> <p>‘It was all a bit of a novelty at first’ admitted Cardinal Sergio Venturi dripping in signet rings, flanked on either side by the Swiss Guard. ‘The first thing he did when he was elected was to get an OAP pass for the municipal pool. We all thought it was rather sweet in a third world kind of way.’</p> <p>‘But it gets to you after a while; we had the Dalai Lama over last week and where did His Holiness want to hold a banquet in his honour? Only ‘Il Harvestore’ again! There I was, having to explain to Tibetan Buddhism’s supreme spiritual leader about the concept of an unlimited salad bar.’</p> <p>‘And if your esteemed guest wishes to visit the Ice Cream Factory for afters, order yourself a bloody crème brulee; don’t just sit there nodding benignly while the fourteenth incarnation of the Bodhisattva picks off his marshmallows.’</p> <p>Another Vatican insider who wished not to be identified went even further: ‘The Holy Roman Church has a long tradition of sickening excess and sociopathic power-brokering. We have toppled whole kingdoms on a single Pontiff’s whim. Anything that stood in our way we crushed under our heel. <em>Il Papa</em> has got this glorious heritage and basically he’s pissing it up a wall. Ungrateful, or what?’</p> <p>The Head of the Worldwide Catholic Church – or ‘Acting Chairperson’ as His Holiness has taken to calling himself – was unavailable for comment at time of going to press. He was said to be 'lending a hand with an ecumenical Meals on Wheels service. Or something equally crap.' </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=58315#post-169189 Wed, 20 Mar 2013 22:42:29 +0000 BewsNiscuit 169189@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>"Soap on a Rope", that trusty 60's shower room accessory and stocking filler of last resort, is understood to have inspired a remarkable vatican enterprise just in time for next Christmas. In an attempt to capitalise on the popularity and friendly informality of its new Pope, the vatican is understood to be about to launch its own "Pope on a Rope" air freshener, to be marketed as part of the vatican's new "clear the air" re-branding programme. It is intended to symbolise the church's new "holy trinity" of freshness, cleanliness and purity following a "dirty decade" of difficult headlines and "dirty bastard" slurs, not to mention paedophile priests.</p> <p>Pope Francis is personally credited with bringing forward the initiative as one of his first acts of papal power. Announcing his vision over breakfast last weekend "Frank the Informal", as he has become, less than reverently, known to his aides, is reported as having blurted out his plans over his porridge - "Hey guys, I feel an encyclical coming on. Every good Catholic home should have at least one Pope on a Rope so we can spread the message deep amongst the faithful - and just think of the great global potential for some scorching royalties - so looks like we really gonna clean up big time in more ways than one, eh? Get my drift! Pass the toast."</p> <p>There are understood to be no plans to market a new range of "Frankie Says..." tee shirts but we'll know more soon. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=57956#post-168019 Thu, 14 Mar 2013 04:41:35 +0000 Gary Gonads 168019@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=57954#post-168015 Thu, 14 Mar 2013 03:49:09 +0000 Gary Gonads 168015@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Cardinal Jorge Mario Bergoglio has narrowly beaten Polish Cardinal Arek Druc to be elected as the 266th Pope.</p> <p>“It was neck and neck for a while but in the end Jorge smoked that Pole” said American Cardinal Peter O’Malley when asked about the contest. “He must have gotten some tips from Benedict because we all know he’s smoked plenty of pole in his time.” </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=57950#post-168011 Thu, 14 Mar 2013 02:55:30 +0000 Gary Gonads 168011@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=57948#post-168009 Thu, 14 Mar 2013 02:00:58 +0000 Gary Gonads 168009@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=57884#post-167811 Wed, 13 Mar 2013 13:09:43 +0000 GreyWolf 167811@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>An uninspiring first week. The task was to search the conclave of cardinals for homosexuals, and burn them at the stake. Neither Team "Synod of Whitby" nor Team "Diet of Worms" found more than a handful each, despite having 115 suspects to choose from. Archangel Sugar (aka "Sweetie"), unimpressed by the blazes, told the teams they would have to try much harder, if they wished to stay out of the Eternal Fires of Hell. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=57814#post-167643 Tue, 12 Mar 2013 20:49:33 +0000 Scoby Watson 167643@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>. </p>