http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/tags.php?tag=urine The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Thu, 20 Jun 2013 06:04:58 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=4650#post-13033 Tue, 18 May 2010 08:36:04 +0000 muhniepie 13033@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Nicki Marper has suffered from hyper urinaria absurdum, a rare genetic condition also known as ‘Noah’s Ark Syndrome’ since birth. She is believed to be one of only 200 people in the world with the condition.</p> <p>It is a little known and extreme condition that affects the part of the brain called ‘Irédale’s Casket’ which regulates fluid reabsorption and expulsion. It is characterised by chronic onsets in which dangerous levels of urine are released in huge bursts or ‘waves’. The condition is often deadly as a sufferer can fatally dehydrate in a matter of minutes.</p> <p>Nicki’s condition has caused her to come close to death from dehydration on a number of occasions, as well as causing considerable flood damage to her home.</p> <p>“I have to carry large amounts of drinking water with me at all times incase a wave is released.” Nicki said. </p> <p>“The worst time it happened was on a bus. I ended up being sued by a non-swimmer sat in front of me who was washed down the bus and hit his head. The bus company even charged me for water damage to the bus. It was so upsetting”.</p> <p>Foreign Secretary William Hague is the highest profile sufferer of the condition. In 1989 as a newly elected Member of Parliament his seat in the House of Commons was hit by a particularly brutal onset. The wave cost the tax payer £5,600 in flood damage to the famous green seats as well as fusing some of the electrics below the chamber causing the tragic death of beloved House of Commons caretaker Thomas Rhythm.</p> <p>White House security was on alert this week preparing with mops and scuba equipment for Mr Hague’s first official visit as Foreign Secretary to the USA. He met with US Secretary of State Hilary Clinton who said she was “relived” that the meeting remained dry because “she isn’t really a strong swimmer”. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=1138#post-2885 Thu, 18 Mar 2010 12:27:55 +0000 Oxbridge 2885@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Rufus, a border terrier from Sandown, Isle of Wight, has announced plans to change his pattern of frenzied water-gulping in the morning. This follows the repeated failure to accumulate enough urine to mark both the fifth lamp-post away from his house in St Marks Crescent and have enough in reserve for the park.</p> <p>'Normally I get 70% of my morning spray needs from my water and the rest from my breakfast,' explained the two-year-old grizzle and tan. 'Unfortunately, my beloved owner, who has been quite stressed lately, has several times forgotten to give me my breakfast until after our morning walk, with potentially disastrous consequences.'</p> <p>Rufus went on to explain that the traditional view that he is marking his territory is only partially correct. Whilst the pungent, hormone-laden streams of wee that scorch creosote from fences and cause small children to cry do mainly serve this purpose, he also needs to keep some weaker, less nauseating reserves in his tank for purely social reasons - to advertise to his friends that he has been by.</p> <p>'It's just polite,' he told reporters, in between licking and sniffing frantically at a soggy tree stump in Stevenson Park. 'Look - my Patterdale-Border cross girlfriend Twinkle has left a message that she passed by the park 20 minutes ago and I need to do the same or she'll take the hump and go off with that growly little pillock of a Yorkie from down the road.'</p> <p>In view of the apparent unreliability of pre-walk kibble suppliers, Rufus will therefore be taking it on himself to increase his water intake from the downstairs toilet by 15% until further notice. This figure has been carefully calibrated to ensure an optimum weight distribution, while leaving enough in the tanks to cock his back leg over the entire neighbourhood.</p> <p>'I blame myself that it's come to this - I just keep forgetting,' admitted Rufus's owner, hairdresing salon owner Jane Winters, 55. 'And he's such a good little lad, he never complains, do you poppet? Oooh, look at him, he's so like me,' she added, prior to sniffing another woman's genitalia and eating rabbit droppings from off the path. </p>