http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/tags.php?tag=twat The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Mon, 20 May 2013 12:06:56 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=58847#post-171006 Sun, 31 Mar 2013 11:55:55 +0000 Idiot 171006@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>They signs normally say 'Polskie Sklep' so the joke doesn't work. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=58847#post-171000 Sun, 31 Mar 2013 11:21:47 +0000 nickb 171000@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Nurse! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=58847#post-170994 Sun, 31 Mar 2013 10:52:14 +0000 godly1966 170994@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Oh dear, it must be the school holidays again </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=58847#post-170991 Sun, 31 Mar 2013 10:40:36 +0000 Tripod 170991@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>A bit of a theme developing, TWL. You're aware that this is a comedy site? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=58847#post-170990 Sun, 31 Mar 2013 10:39:04 +0000 Thewoodenleg 170990@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Apparently Polish is now Britain's second language. There are several Polish shops in my town. On the front of each shop is written 'Polish Shop'. </p> <p>So I went in and asked for a tin of polish. For my shoes, I said. And another one for the table. You know. Polish. I want to shine things up.</p> <p>The man in the shop looked bemused and spoke in foreign.</p> <p>'This is a polish shop. Sell me some polish, then.' I rapped my walking stick on the counter.</p> <p>The man said I was being racist. I picked the man up, took him to the customer toilet and wedged him in. </p> <p>The man's mate had to call a Polish plumber to get him out. As the first man squatted there with his arm trapped in the s-bend I covered his face with boot polish. Yes, I had brought some with me anticipating they wouldn't sell any. This is called thinking ahead.</p> <p>When the Polish plumber finally arrived he refused to touch the trapped man because he 'didn't like blacks.'</p> <p>'So who's the racist now?' I said. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=58483#post-169819 Sun, 24 Mar 2013 10:34:03 +0000 Jesse Bigg 169819@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>The beggar can't even log in right. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=56928#post-165074 Tue, 26 Feb 2013 20:48:04 +0000 dvo4fun 165074@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Trumped by the NiB on RF I suspect but nice idea </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=56928#post-165069 Tue, 26 Feb 2013 20:30:25 +0000 sillybugger 165069@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>5 stars from me Tripod</p> <p>Tourette biscuit is sooo jealous he can't make swearing funny like this, aaah poor lovey </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=56928#post-165023 Tue, 26 Feb 2013 12:23:37 +0000 Tripod 165023@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p><blockquote>Your swearing isn't as bollockingly funny as it should be, it's not fucking working for you a piss.</p> <p>Maybe cut out the swearing, and where it shitting well was, consider dropping in a big cocking joke instead?</p> <p>Just a cunting bit of advice. </blockquote></p> <p>That's what I like... a constructive critique... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=56928#post-164910 Mon, 25 Feb 2013 21:36:10 +0000 Truebiscuit 164910@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Very cunting discerning, AReader. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=56928#post-164906 Mon, 25 Feb 2013 21:17:27 +0000 AReader 164906@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I give it 5 stars just for the casual swearing </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=56928#post-164905 Mon, 25 Feb 2013 21:16:41 +0000 Golgo13 164905@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Like it. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=56928#post-164904 Mon, 25 Feb 2013 21:10:23 +0000 Titus 164904@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Funny, I keep mis-reading that as Tourettebiscuit. (Must get some new glasses - me feeble old git.) </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=56928#post-164900 Mon, 25 Feb 2013 20:44:10 +0000 Truebiscuit 164900@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Your swearing isn't as bollockingly funny as it should be, it's not fucking working for you a piss.</p> <p>Maybe cut out the swearing, and where it shitting well was, consider dropping in a big cocking joke instead?</p> <p>Just a cunting bit of advice. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=56925#post-164897 Mon, 25 Feb 2013 20:34:36 +0000 The All New Jeni B 164897@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Tsk! Tsk! Wallster!! Not enough exclamation marks!!!!</p> <p>FFS!!!! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=56925#post-164895 Mon, 25 Feb 2013 20:30:03 +0000 Truebiscuit 164895@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>You forgot to give me five stars, so I've done it for you. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=56925#post-164894 Mon, 25 Feb 2013 20:18:34 +0000 wallster 164894@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>This is fucking hilarious. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=56925#post-164893 Mon, 25 Feb 2013 20:17:07 +0000 Truebiscuit 164893@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Wallster, it's this one you forgot to mention. Brilliant isn't it? Fucking funny. It's about that priest who was waving his cock about. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=56931#post-164882 Mon, 25 Feb 2013 19:20:40 +0000 Tripod 164882@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=56928#post-164878 Mon, 25 Feb 2013 18:58:15 +0000 Tripod 164878@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Sir Ranulph Fiennes - ‘Ran’ to his friends - has pulled out of his latest yawn-inducing adventure due to the fact that the public really couldn’t give a flying fuck whether he reaches the South Pole or whether he falls into a crevasse and dies. The explorer has survived many dangers - from suffering a nasty paper cut to having his head bitten off by a bear - but it was public apathy that finally made him decide to fuck off home and put his feet up for a while. </p> <p>When told that he had sawn his own gangrenous fingers off with a hacksaw blade, following a nasty case of frostbite, the entire population of Great Britain rolled their eyes. Describing themselves as “utterly indifference” to Sir Ranulph’s exploits, they said they didn’t care whether he crawled up Everest on his hands and knees or attempted something more suited to a man of advancing years, like trying to get up out of a low chair... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=56925#post-164873 Mon, 25 Feb 2013 18:30:50 +0000 Truebiscuit 164873@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Never use exclamation marks in a headline, unless it's fucking hilarious. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=56838#post-164579 Sat, 23 Feb 2013 23:21:11 +0000 Audible Minority 164579@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Midnight Dreary, we don't need spoofs. There are plenty of immature and mindless contributors dumping what they have for intellect elsewhere on the Internet without encouraging them here. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=56838#post-164577 Sat, 23 Feb 2013 23:11:53 +0000 shaggy 164577@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>OK i admit defeat. You guys are too good. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=56838#post-164560 Sat, 23 Feb 2013 21:33:14 +0000 Tripod 164560@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p><blockquote>but I am actually a spoof of the spoof of the spoof</blockquote></p> <p>Ah, now I understand...</p> <p><img src="http://muftah.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/ceci-n-est-pas-une-pipe.jpg"> </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=56838#post-164559 Sat, 23 Feb 2013 21:31:41 +0000 Midnight Dreary 164559@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I think you're just the Spoof. I hear they'll get their forum back soon, so maybe we won't see so much of you. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=56838#post-164557 Sat, 23 Feb 2013 21:29:03 +0000 shaggy 164557@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Midnight - afraid you have missed the subtlety here - easily done I admit - but I am actually a spoof of the spoof of the spoof of the people who just say the first thing that comes into their heads. Ach du liebe zeite ich musse zu schlafen gehen! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=56838#post-164551 Sat, 23 Feb 2013 21:15:25 +0000 Midnight Dreary 164551@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Well, we've all done it. Er, been a U-boat captain, I mean. Obviously. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=56838#post-164550 Sat, 23 Feb 2013 21:10:50 +0000 Yikes 164550@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>IMO this is very funny, accidental or not!</p> <p>No chance of a NiB length expansion??? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=56838#post-164548 Sat, 23 Feb 2013 21:08:01 +0000 Midnight Dreary 164548@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Shaggy - truebiscuit is taking the piss - he's a spoof of people who just post the first thing that comes into their heads - makes you think, eh? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=56838#post-164525 Sat, 23 Feb 2013 20:28:22 +0000 shaggy 164525@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>you go first </p>