http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/tags.php?tag=the-krankies The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Sat, 25 May 2013 05:44:05 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=51083#post-147186 Sun, 04 Nov 2012 16:33:44 +0000 ianslat 147186@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Nicely done. I wondered about doing something along these lines but couldn't make it work. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=51083#post-147085 Sat, 03 Nov 2012 19:12:46 +0000 arthurminnit 147085@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>serves the fucker right! spoilt many a saturday evening for me, he did! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=51083#post-147059 Sat, 03 Nov 2012 16:09:00 +0000 WatcherMark 147059@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Hot on the heels of the Jimmy Savile scandal, beloved 70s television personality and current mainstay in the Eastbourne theatre circuit Ian Krankie has been arrested by police after having been discovered to have had intimate relations with long-term comedy partner and ward Wee Jimmy Krankie, to the point where it is believed he even married the eternally young schoolboy.</p> <p>The police were first alerted by a member of the audience of one of his performances, after he was sighted kissing the boy backstage after the show. <em>"I just couldn't believe my eyes"</em> said Gladys Winslow, who had been invited backstage to meet the pair with the rest of her Women's Institute <em>"Me and the girls were very excited to meet a couple of celebrities and tell Jimmy just how lovely we thought he was but when we got back there we saw the two hugging and kissing while congratulating each other on their performance. They then saw us and came towards us with their hands outstretched to greet us. Well, we were going to stay there to spend time with an obvious pedophile and quickly left and rang the police from a nearby payphone."</em></p> <p>Police have reported that Ian Krankie was quickly arrested and Jimmy has been taken into emergency foster care, however what should have been a quick ending has turned far more dark as it is now believed that the young boy has been brainwashed by his supposed father figure.</p> <p><em>"When we tried to remove him and place him with foster parents, Jimmy kept protesting by telling us the ridiculous story that 'he' is in fact a 'she' named Janette who is actually not much younger than 'Ian' and is also married to him"</em> reported a police spokesman <em>"Clearly this young man has been mentally conditioned to believe this, and we currently have our best psychologists on hand to try and return him to the simple, football-loving boy he should be".</em></p> <p>Asked for the current status of Ian Krankie, the police spokesman said <em>"Well, he's in custody for now and has already been beaten up by my officers once or twice. After what happened with Savile, we're determined to show we're not wearing kid gloves with these sickos who think they can hide behind their fame anymore."</em> </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=38028#post-107462 Sun, 29 Jan 2012 13:19:19 +0000 dvo4fun 107462@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Well I liked it. Possibly funnier ending on the 'deal or no deal' line. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=38028#post-107443 Sun, 29 Jan 2012 00:56:44 +0000 WatcherMark 107443@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Only a few days after shocking the nation by showing a contestant submitting the word 'Wanker', Channel 4 are facing a fresh scandal against their flagship show Countdown (presented at the moment by some bloke from The Apprentice) with the revelation that dictionary corner beauty Susie Dent is actually a puppet.</p> <p>An insider for the Channel 4 show said "This is one of the secrets that Channel 4 has been keen to cover up, but I don't feel I can participate in this sham anymore. Susie is, and has always been, a puppet operated from under the desk. In fact, we have two men under there; one operating 'Susie' and the other with one of those cheap anagram solvers from Argos providing the words".</p> <p>Channel 4, who have refused to comment on the situation, have nevertheless pulled all future episodes from the schedule. This week's selection was due to show 'Susie' alongside famous double act The Krankies, however it currently unknown if or indeed when these will ever air. Channel 4 will be filling the schedule with an extra forty-five minutes of wasting time from 'Deal or No Deal'.</p> <p>The Krankies were unavailable to comment. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=3455&page=2#post-10079 Thu, 29 Apr 2010 23:19:28 +0000 AdrianJ 10079@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Perhaps he meant miss in the lack of accuracy sense of the word? Might explain why your ass hurts? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=3455&page=2#post-10078 Thu, 29 Apr 2010 23:02:47 +0000 rikkor 10078@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>You can't miss me if I don't leave. Thanks. Awfully. Oh, just an FYI: my ass hurts. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=3455&page=2#post-10038 Thu, 29 Apr 2010 16:28:59 +0000 The All New Jeni B 10038@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>So <em>that's</em> where I left it.<br /> Thanks stunts. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=3455&page=2#post-10033 Thu, 29 Apr 2010 15:59:51 +0000 edward hack 10033@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I miss Rikkor and Ram<br /> They might (thankfully) upset a few apple carts along life's pock marked highway but never less than entertaining and never dull.<br /> Plus Ram is a fountain of (genuine)knowledge too.<br /> I looked it up on the net and he was right about Henry VIII having six wives.<br /> Rikkor likes Ox-tail so gets my vote.</p> <p>What if the Nice Admin Lady sent all these people am email telling them they have won a considerable sum of money ...maybe from that Dr Congo (but don't put any kisses at the end or they might twig) </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=3455&page=2#post-10032 Thu, 29 Apr 2010 15:58:13 +0000 nealdoran 10032@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Wow! suburbandad has reappeared from the bedroom/nursery, The where are they now thread is working. How about a serial killer spree in Carshalton to halve the population, would make your work a lot easier.</p> <p>Wonder what would happen if I said Wilson765 three times while looking in the mirror.</p> <p>Stunts, that remark made me laugh out loud as the old people say these days. Glad to see you're still rocking the mushroom look today. A shade few of us can pull off. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=3455#post-10031 Thu, 29 Apr 2010 15:49:34 +0000 allmyownstunts 10031@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>um, according to your picture, you appear to be wearing it</p> <p>x </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=3455#post-10028 Thu, 29 Apr 2010 15:42:07 +0000 The All New Jeni B 10028@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>What is this?! Has NB become the "Fertility Stool" of websites?</p> <p>There are Babybiscuits churning out everywhere.</p> <p>Now, where's my full body condom.... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=3455#post-10025 Thu, 29 Apr 2010 15:26:22 +0000 NewSuburbanDad 10025@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Nice to be remembered, nealdoran! Will post again, once we've abandoned our insane plan to single-handedly double the population of Carshalton Beeches. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=3455#post-10023 Thu, 29 Apr 2010 15:22:52 +0000 PluckyMunky 10023@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>This is all very complicated. Could you please keep things simple for those of us with fewer brain cells?</p> <p>I miss Doris Day, if that's any help. She liked custard creams, I think. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=3455#post-10012 Thu, 29 Apr 2010 14:30:41 +0000 andhrimnir 10012@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>10 Across: Any connection if you doctor any of "Grim Fun Du Des" "Run if Smudged" "Reds mud fungi" "Finds rude mug" "Eds drum fungi" (7,5) </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=3455#post-10005 Thu, 29 Apr 2010 14:08:22 +0000 Mary Evans 10005@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I'm wearing shoes???? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=3455#post-9984 Thu, 29 Apr 2010 12:58:34 +0000 nealdoran 9984@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>God bless you young Mary, but no self-pitying intended -- I've been about! I consider my Clegg on smack story was the thing that got Cleggmania to tipping point. </p> <p>I'm still going, it's just these days I need a slightly longer recovery time.</p> <p>Do you mean the all new Ms B, or me on the tags front by the way? Not guilty here... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=3455#post-9983 Thu, 29 Apr 2010 12:53:06 +0000 The All New Jeni B 9983@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>T'wasn't me guv!!</p> <p>For once, I am innocent of the charge, as I toodled off to work long before tags appeared.</p> <p>But seeing as we're on the subject, you do know you're wearing two different shoes today don't you? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=3455#post-9982 Thu, 29 Apr 2010 12:40:22 +0000 Mary Evans 9982@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>And don't think I haven't noticed your lost feet tag, Ms B. Although if any one has seen my feet.. last known sighting was about Mr Mary's person around late October last year... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=3455#post-9981 Thu, 29 Apr 2010 12:36:36 +0000 Mary Evans 9981@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Tsk Tsk, we'll have none of that talk, Barbara. You are as fresh as newly-laid poop (toilet-training Master M is not going well) and anyone who says otherwise will have me to deal with. But whack off some subs, would you fella? I miss your tales of rejection and heart-ache. And your FPs. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=3455#post-9974 Thu, 29 Apr 2010 12:29:26 +0000 nealdoran 9974@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>You mean a washed-up drivelling has-been, Vince? I think you may have a point. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=3455#post-9972 Thu, 29 Apr 2010 12:22:40 +0000 Des Custard 9972@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Freud is an odd one. J'accused him of being joanbloggs once and he came back saying it was just a name he made up one afternoon to use in a particular thread. But he said it as if he were a regular and it should be obvious. Mustn't overanalyse. Ugi comes and goes, and may be watching. I wonder what happened to Jeni B... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=3455#post-9970 Thu, 29 Apr 2010 12:18:22 +0000 Mary Evans 9970@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Babs, you are the Oliver Stone of the Biscuit. And you've been undressed by Kings. What a gal. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=3455#post-9966 Thu, 29 Apr 2010 12:07:04 +0000 nealdoran 9966@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>If I wasn't feeling strangely guilty for attempted outing of pseudonyms for pseudonyms, and spreading rumours about NB swingers, I'd say I think I know who your Ms Hyde was Mary. Very pertinent comments they usually made too.</p> <p>But who are any of us to say who anyone else really is? Afterall, as a wise woman once said, 'I've been to paradise, but I've never been to me'.</p> <p>(once again, Charlene's law that any NB thread that goes on long enough will eventually have a reference to the one-hit wonder comes into effect) </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=3455#post-9956 Thu, 29 Apr 2010 11:29:20 +0000 DickIn_and_ShakeSpear 9956@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>your all idiots and no nothing barstards and i no were you live. pissing on a ded old mans grave you ar </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=3455#post-9955 Thu, 29 Apr 2010 11:21:02 +0000 Sigmund Freud 9955@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I always found Mr Magoo's Friday afternoon drive by shootings entertaining. I'm sure he's Oxy after too much grog. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=3455#post-9954 Thu, 29 Apr 2010 11:20:13 +0000 Mary Evans 9954@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>The jig's up D&amp;S. We all know you're really Christopher Marlowe. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=3455#post-9952 Thu, 29 Apr 2010 11:13:07 +0000 Dickens or Shakespeare 9952@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>So do we. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=3455#post-9949 Thu, 29 Apr 2010 11:07:19 +0000 Mary Evans 9949@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I miss Smudge too, although I feel his presence... Where did Seamus Nottrew go also? He was very active when I first cropped up, but haven't seen him round since. </p> <p>But how are we to know who's double-bluffing? Why, even some of those on here claiming to miss someone could in fact be masquerading under another guise to see if we miss them... </p> <p>On this note, I briefly masqueraded as someone else back along and it was an interesting experiment. I highly recommend it. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=3455#post-9944 Thu, 29 Apr 2010 10:49:10 +0000 nealdoran 9944@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Ooh Donny 501... I remember he disappeared after a spat with someone (Exigo?) who revealed that the Donny501 username was also being used on a swingers/wife-swapping website. </p> <p>How Exigo (if it was he) came across this nugget of information was never quite clear... </p>