http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/tags.php?tag=tax The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Tue, 21 May 2013 19:21:39 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=61409#post-178585 Fri, 17 May 2013 19:49:58 +0000 drs 178585@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Accusations of search result falsification have been levelled at Google UK after it emerged that typing ‘Google tax avoidance’ into its search engine did not show any credible results until the 178th page.<br /> The top result was ‘Did you mean Amazon tax avoidance?’ followed by ‘Did you mean ‘Margaret Hodge, MP, is insane?’<br /> In a statement, the UK Head of Compliance stated ‘Google is committed to draining every last pound, sorry I meant Euro, from the countries it operates in. All UK customers who have searched using any word or phrase that is also used in the Republic of Ireland is deemed as being domiciled there. Hence all profits are calculated there as well. It just happens that their tax rates are lower.’<br /> An HMRC spokesman commented, under a guarantee of anonymity,'They are just taking the piss now.' </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=58496#post-169876 Sun, 24 Mar 2013 16:43:08 +0000 rosege 169876@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Following the failure of the plan to tax savings in Cyprus, the Cyprus Government has just announced it latest tax the Mattress Stash Tax.</p> <p>Under the proposal tax investigators will visit every home in the country and ask the occupants to declare what they have of value there. Things of interest are cash, precious metals and stones and anything that can be put on ebay. Then a value of roughly 5% of the occupants wealth will be removed. If the occupants are found to have made a false declaration and the investigators find undeclared wealth then the occupants will have 10% of their wealth taxed under the anti-sneaky provisions in the proposal.</p> <p>The news has been welcomed by the banking Troika, the IMF, European Commission and the ECB, though they announced that their preference would be for both the deposit tax and Mattress Stash Tax to be introduced given they dont trust Cypriots not to quickly move money from their Mattress back to their bank accounts now this alterative has been proposed. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=58320#post-169223 Thu, 21 Mar 2013 01:19:31 +0000 mugwump 169223@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Roger Moore soon.... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=55400#post-160060 Mon, 28 Jan 2013 14:44:53 +0000 hardev 160060@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>It appears that the “one rule of them and another rule for others” is very much alive as it was revealed by the Gotham Gazette last week.</p> <p>Reporter Vicky Vale said “Year after year, some wealthy individuals have used all sorts of scams, double-dealing and fancy accounting to pay little or no tax and this has got to come to a stop otherwise Gotham and society in general will suffer”</p> <p>The article draws attention to a number of irregularities and accuses Mr Wayne of:<br /> - Changing his home address to Nepal to benefit from their low personal tax allowances<br /> - Off-setting £4 billion to the Wayne Enterprises Applied Sciences division knowing that no products would ever come to market<br /> - Intentionally setting fire to Wayne Manor to claim £3.7 million when actual repairs were estimated to be only £1 million</p> <p>She has provided the evidence to Mayor Hamilton Hill, who will be investigating and told us that “if Bruce Wayne has a case to answer, then we will pursue him – there is no asylum for tax dodgers and not even Bruce Wayne can be two-faced about his affairs!” </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=54514#post-157315 Fri, 11 Jan 2013 09:06:19 +0000 rickwestwell 157315@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Nice idea - anyone else think it should be beefed up into a FP?<br /> Maybe "Gerard Depardieu to star in 'Red Card'"? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=54514#post-157307 Fri, 11 Jan 2013 08:36:40 +0000 ionb 157307@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>...in which he plays a Frenchman who enters into a marriage of convenience with a high ranking politician in a major Eurasian country...</p> <p>...a number of film endings have been made to ensure that the press don't try to second guess. The director of the film has stated that it is going to be exciting involving a complex interplay between two presidents and Belgium... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=45865#post-131897 Tue, 24 Jul 2012 19:36:10 +0000 kga6 131897@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Took a couple of reads. This one almost has more paragraphs than sentences. But you make an interesting point. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=45865#post-131893 Tue, 24 Jul 2012 19:14:44 +0000 scottishbird 131893@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>George Osborne tried to further excuse immoral and greedy behaviour within the upper classes and big business by suggesting individuals are keeping huge amounts in offshore accounts due to being “sensitive, light sleepers”, making the traditional low risk mattress investment model impossible.</p> <p>Claims that many bankers and city types already have difficulty sleeping due to being the target of the nation’s collective hate, levels of which haven’t been witnessed since the Myra Hindley trial in 1966, have triggered fears amongst the shadow cabinet that exemptions in the crack down on tax avoidance will be allowed on medical grounds. </p> <p>Ed Balls said yesterday “The Tories want you to think that your local plumber doing a ‘homer’ or giving cash discounts is the UK’s hidden economy, but truth is that tradesmen sleep too deeply due to actually doing a hard days work to notice all the billions tucked under their collective mattresses.” </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=44631#post-127820 Wed, 27 Jun 2012 19:18:35 +0000 Miss Hegas 127820@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Chancellor George Osbourne will tomorrow announce to the House of Commons new proposals to take on the tooth fairy.</p> <p>Long a feature on the UK's financial services horizon, more recently the tooth fairy has come into strong criticism from left and right of the political spectrum for its complex derivative trading operations.</p> <p>The transfer of once-fixed assets - aka the 'tooth' - in a currency transaction, frequently conducted in low-level denominations, cash-in-hand without due oversight of the tax authorities has become a target for the more populist members of the Conservative Party. </p> <p>Dentine Norries, a prominent backbench critic of both the PM David Cameron and Chancellor George Osbourne, has been particularly vociferous in her challenge to the close connections between key party donors and leading members of the tooth fairy industry. Those connections were sharply highlighted earlier this year in the so-called Col-Gate scandal, in which Colonel Herbert MacLean was forced from his post as Tory party treasurer after he was found not to have registered his role in a transfer of funds from the tooth fairy to his 5-year-old daughter Esme.</p> <p>In advance of the Chancellor's announcement, the Treasury was forced tonight to put out a statement denying that the government would now do or say anything to deflect attention from its ineptitude. 'Critics of our new tooth fairy regulations should get in the real world,' they told gathered reporters. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=44301#post-126792 Thu, 21 Jun 2012 16:32:17 +0000 Duff 126792@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Short, sharp and smile-inducing. Stars </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=44301#post-126788 Thu, 21 Jun 2012 16:00:17 +0000 dvo4fun 126788@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>yep </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=44301#post-126786 Thu, 21 Jun 2012 15:55:16 +0000 muggyfresh 126786@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Cheers :) </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=44301#post-126778 Thu, 21 Jun 2012 14:38:14 +0000 Skylarking 126778@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Excellent! Stars stars stars... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=44301#post-126745 Thu, 21 Jun 2012 11:25:38 +0000 muggyfresh 126745@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Thousands of people the length and breadth of the UK have today been reported to be signing up to a Jimmy Carr avoidance scheme.</p> <p>The highly controversial scheme allows ‘subscribers’ to filter, loan out and offset 99% of their Jimmy Carr coverage, leaving them with just a 1% Jimmy Carr burden.</p> <p>A prominent Jimmy Carr avoidance scheme advocate, Mr James Davidson told us - “Although it may seem immoral, I have checked with my advisors and it is perfectly legal. There is a distinct difference between Jimmy Carr avoidance and Jimmy Carr evasion. I have done nothing wrong. Also there are too many disabled people at my gigs”.</p> <p>It is thought that many more people will now be subscribing to the scheme, and that the founders of the scheme are hoping to capitalise on its success by introducing other schemes, such as the David Cameron bullshit-filter scheme and the Lenny Henry total-avoidance scheme, which will allow people to watch the TV in total assurance that all Premier Travel Inn adverts and Lenny Henry one off specials will be replaced with repeats of Only Fools and Horses. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=41254#post-117652 Sat, 07 Apr 2012 13:25:03 +0000 ud5 117652@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Nikko Daralas and Loukas Gojas, the last two employees in the Greek private sector, have complained that workers can no longer cope with the increasing tax burden. Nikko, 32 from Kritinia (Rhodes, Greece) admitted “I have a cat to feed, and I can only afford to live in the discarded rubber tire of a VW campervan. With tax rates at 23,111,035 % I have to borrow a huge amount of money from a [nameless]* foreign bank just to pay my taxes.”</p> <p>Greece’s Finance minister, Philippos Sachinidis and his 635 strong finance team drafted a report saying that the Greek Government could not hope to reduce the tax burden without the threat of government redundancies, which itself would incur greater costs due to the high redundancy payouts. They also said it would have a devastating effect on unemployment rates. On the television channel “ERT1” Minister Sachinidis was quoted as saying, “Mr Daralas is obviously a committed worker, but we feel there is more he should be doing to contribute to the Greek economy. He is only working 23 hours a day, which we think is very little, for someone in the private sector within the current economic climate.” In response Nikko Daralas countered that this 23 hours a day did not include the overtime he was effectively being forced to work.</p> <p>Loukas Gojas, who is Mr Daralas’ union representative, said that it is ‘almost a full time job’ representing Mr Daralas, and that he would personally go on to the streets to protest for Mr Daralas’ working rights. Thankfully for Loukas, as a union representative, he was able to utilise a tax by-law to avoid paying tax this year. “Without this tax by-law, I would be in the same position as Nikko” Loukas shouted towards the Greek general public as he drove past them in his BMW.</p> <p>*Goldman Sachs </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=40321#post-114699 Thu, 22 Mar 2012 20:22:15 +0000 weematt 114699@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Our history correspondent reports.</p> <p>Archaeologists were not surprised when about £350K in Roman coins from about 270AD were found in Bath. Around that time, in what we now call England, there was a top rate of tax equivalent to 50p in today's money and many wealthy Romans came up with schemes to hide their wealth from the then chancellor Gordonius Parsimonius. This has resulted in a number of what archaeologists call stashes being created and later uncovered.</p> <p>Significantly, a few centuries later following a change of government, the new Chancellor Georgius Verigenerus, lowered the top rate of tax to the equivalent of 45p. It has been noted that since that date very few stashes have been discovered leading us to believe that Verigenerus' strategy of lowering the top rate of tax led to the almost complete cessation of this early form of tax evasion.</p> <p>Critics of this style of pandering to the rich point out that it didn't take long after the 45p rate was introduced for the Roman Empire to go into terminal decline and external investment in Britain dried up. Roman encampment after Roman encampment closed their gates throwing local workers into long term unemployment.</p> <p>Fortunately most of our senior politicians, having been to a good public school and a select university, have a good grounding in history and are unlikely to allow this unfortunate chapter of our history to repeat itself. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=38756#post-109790 Thu, 16 Feb 2012 14:41:57 +0000 GrahamB 109790@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Following the revelation that 25 civil servants may have paid 18% less tax as a result of having their salaries paid into personal holding companies, Health Secretary Andrew Lansley today revealed plans to increase the NHS budget by 18% by moving all the money offshore to a company controlled by a Nigerian benefactor.</p> <p>"I've received the firmest assurances possible from Mr Poverty Egboko," Mr Lansley told stunned MPs, "who will take good care of the money for us. Freed from UK corporation tax, it should grow very satisfactorily, thereby securing the future of the NHS."</p> <p>Under the scheme, the NHS will receive a postal order each week for the next five years to meet its expenses. A last minute hitch arose because Mr Egboko planned to send it on Friday, when Mr Lansley was concerned there would be insufficent time to get it to a Post Office before the weekend, but finally Mr Egboko agreed to make the payments on Thursdays instead. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=32904#post-93534 Sun, 30 Oct 2011 19:23:13 +0000 kga6 93534@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>With the economy still lying on the brink, David Cameron has today announced a Christmas tax, to be enforced from the first of November. The additional 20% tax covers any item that is considered linkable with Christmas, including turkey, crackers, Christmas trees and anything that could be deemed 'a present'. The taxation on the printing of the word Christmas means that from November, it must legally be referred to as 'Crismas'.</p> <p>David Cameron explained the tax, saying, "Crismas is a luxury calendar event. People get a few days off work and indulge in wanton gluttony. In a bid to keep tax low on everyday items, we have to increase taxation on those optional, lavish products."</p> <p>Enforcing the tax appears a tall order, but Cameron has detailed novel methods of tax collection. "Every 5 days during December, Eric will call to collect the advent chocolate for the day. All jokes from crckrs will be removed before sale and read out daily up to Crismas in Parliament to keep morale up."</p> <p>The Christmas Dr. Who special has been cut down by 10 minutes and the Queen's speech has been cancelled after her planned skirt was deemed too short. All 1m tinsel will be restricted to 80cm and presents must have a minimum of 20% of the item unwrapped and visible.</p> <p>It is rumoured many Nativity plays will feature only two wise men to avoid any legal disputes. Dasher and Dancer have also been laid off.</p> <p>People wishing to give a dog or cat to a loved one must ensure either a leg or the tail is missing, although sending a donkey or goat to a unprivileged region will remain tax exempt. "We aren't completely heartless," says Cameron.</p> <p>Britain is set to have the last laugh though, as every fifth mad relative will be directed to an MP's house to join them for Christmas dinner. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=32215#post-91446 Wed, 19 Oct 2011 06:23:23 +0000 apepper 91446@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Unions organising the general strike in Greece have expressed surprise to discover that the Greek Inland Revenue have actually been on strike since 1984.</p> <p>"We asked if the revenue department would join us, but it turns out they haven't worked for nearly 30 years - no wonder it's a popular profession." </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=23061#post-62413 Sat, 26 Mar 2011 10:57:50 +0000 Mrblacker 62413@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>The future of the entire UK economy rests on the shoulders of the Lib Dem leader and Deputy Prime Minister Nick Clegg, according to leaked papers from the Treasury.</p> <p>The documents show that George Osborne predicated his projections for the future on Nick Clegg continuing to smoke and being the last smoker left in the country by 2015.</p> <p>"These are incredible claims." Dennis Lambert, an analyst at city economists Wallace Faulkner Barnes. "They show that the rise in excise duty on the average pack of 20 cigarettes will means more smokers will give up than ever before over the next 3 years, and that only those with enough money to afford to continue their habit will be left to fund a large part of the country's tax intake."</p> <p>A pack of 20 currently costs an average of £6.50 after the inflation plus 2% rise in the budget and at those costs, many smokers are predicted to give up by the end of this year.</p> <p>If that happens, the Treasury will miss out on billions in tax income.</p> <p>"Smokers in the UK currently fund the Government to the tune of £10.5bn, which in these times of financial restraint, has already been accounted for and spent in current year projections." Mr Lambert says. "Therefore, if the numbers of smokers drop, then the Treasury will be forced to increase the tax on on tobacco which the die-hards will be asked to pay."</p> <p>"And because those costs will continue to rise exponentially, it'll be the likes of Nick Clegg will be among the last smokers left in the country and will end up paying for most of the spending the Government is committed to."</p> <p>In a statement, the Treasury confirmed the existence of the documents and said the figures were 'broadly accurate'.</p> <p>But an un-named source in Whitehall said that the Government had badly miscalculated the situation.</p> <p>"We should be encouraging more people to smoke, which would not only increase the tax take for the Treasury, but also kill off more people, leading to increased employment opportunities and a boom in the funeral sector. As for Nick Clegg being the last smoker left in the country, he'd need to dramatically increase his cigarette output to make up the shortfall. He's a social smoker now and would have to end up smoking at least 1500 fags a day to make any contribution worthwhile. And let's face it, sacrificing his health for the sake of the nation, would be the best thing he could do." </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=22864#post-61777 Tue, 22 Mar 2011 11:38:15 +0000 BillyBitzer 61777@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Perhaps I should have used more gratuitous swearwords. (First time I've seen the Daily Mash, honest :-) ) </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=22864#post-61770 Tue, 22 Mar 2011 10:42:02 +0000 Oxbridge 61770@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Very nice, though sadly the Daily Mash did the subject already this morning. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=22864#post-61768 Tue, 22 Mar 2011 10:39:15 +0000 BillyBitzer 61768@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>:-)</p> <p>What is funny is that Google chooses to put an ad for chartering my own private jet on the banner for this page </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=22864#post-61751 Tue, 22 Mar 2011 09:12:10 +0000 be reasonable 61751@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Nice and genuinely 'edgy'. 4* </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=22864#post-61747 Tue, 22 Mar 2011 08:36:14 +0000 BillyBitzer 61747@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>A letter today in the Times, signed by over 20 Businessmen, Pop Stars and Sportsmen slammed Chancellor George Osbourne’s plans to impose duty on flying in private jets as an “attack on employment”.</p> <p>“It is expensive enough as it is, with the purchase of the planes, the maintenance and landing fees of £1500 and upwards. However, adding £12 per passenger for a short hop to Barcelona could cost as much as £72 to even the most modestly sized G6”</p> <p>A spokesman for Harrods Aviation confirmed that plans were already afoot to reduce the workforce at their Luton base. “We think that by downsizing our valet team from 4 to 2 we may be able to keep our services affordable. I'm afraid these are just the realities of the trickle-down effect. We have considered outsourcing, but the security checks required to get an airside pass seemed to put off the companies we approached.”</p> <p>Victoria Beckham is reported in today’s Sun to have written to her two Nannies saying they will be liable to pay their own APD in future, and in another shock move MacLaren F1 driver Lewis Hamilton announced he was to begin taking flying lessons so that their pilot “could be released to look for other career opportunities”. Reports that Ron Dennis has applied for a Easyjet Fasttrack pass were denied by the company. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=9071#post-24381 Sat, 24 Jul 2010 16:33:35 +0000 hairy007 24381@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>The body charged with reviewing the UK's byzantine tax code has eschew logic and steadfastly kept the existing 10000 page document.</p> <p>Officials said in a statement 'We had considered suggesting introducing a progressive "payment transaction tax", but after due consideration decided we couldn't introduce a scheme that rendered us and thousands of others in the finance sector unemployed, particularly in such a difficult economic climate'. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=7856#post-21328 Mon, 05 Jul 2010 21:52:36 +0000 la maga 21328@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>As part of his crusade to reduce the burden on the taxpayer and lower the national debt David Cameron has today announced plans to make costing the government money a crime. "Just because people pay taxes, people think they can spend taxes," he said. "It's just not on."</p> <p>The planned bill, which the coalition hopes to get through Parliament within the current term, will make it a crime to be young, old, sick, unemployed, pregnant or giving up smoking. "The harshest penalties will clearly be reserved for young unemployed mothers who are pregnant again and trying to stop smoking," explained the Prime Minister. "But really we've got to be harsh on all these people. I mean, Labour wanted to spend money on schools! It was a crazy, irresponsible idea."</p> <p>When asked whether CEOs in the arms industry will also be criminalised the Prime Minister explained that they did not fall within the remit of the bill. "What you've got to understand is that there is such a thing as good government spending," he said. "There are all sorts of things we politicians need to spend money on. But spending on <em>people</em> is bad government spending, because they don't deserve it. If they did deserve it, why would they need help?"</p> <p>The impact of the new law will be far-reaching. It is estimated that an extra 50,000 police officers will be needed nationally to enforce the law. An extensive privatised prison-building program is also envisaged to cope with the increased number of criminals. "The building of the prisons alone will create thousands of jobs to keep Eastern Europeans out of the domestic building trade," explained the Prime Minister. "And the running of the prisons will create tens of thousands of permanent jobs for people with inadequate educations."</p> <p>A leaked memo from the Treasury estimates that the number of jobs created if the proposal become reality will roughly equal the number of jobs being lost as a result of public sector cutbacks. "We wish the Treasury would stop leaking like a sieve," said a Conservative spokesman. "But in this case it shows that we really do understand how to fix Britain's economy without endangering jobs." </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=6950#post-18598 Tue, 22 Jun 2010 19:48:32 +0000 Mrblacker 18598@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>The small print of the budget delivered by George Osborne has revealed new and creative ways the Government will raise taxes to pay off the national debt.</p> <p>The details are contained within the Treasury's Red Book, outlining the current financial position and revealing how Treasury forecasts of revenue will help pay down the almost 1 trillion pounds of debt.</p> <p>One of the more surprising revenue streams affects the media; from midnight, all uses of the word 'coalition' when describing the Conservative-Liberal Democrat Government will incur a 1% tax.</p> <p>Elsewhere, plans to generate revenue by selling replicas of the famous black door at Number 10 and a new flexible, weather-based tax are also detailed.</p> <p>In the latter, the rates of income tax, VAT and fuel duty will increase by half of one per cent on sunny days and decrease by the same amount when it's raining; it's expected taxpayers in Scotland will be exempt due to the lack of sunshine. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=6337#post-17213 Sun, 13 Jun 2010 15:37:56 +0000 Izziere 17213@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Harry Redknapp, mamager of Premier League's Tottenham Hotspur has, according to the News of the World, turned down an offer to manage Dubai's Al Ahli football club. Despite being offered a £3m tax-free pay packet to manage the UAE national champions, Mr Redknapp said the job wasn't challening enough.</p> <p>Mr Redknapp said, "I welcome the opportunity to clear my name in court over the charge of defrauding HMRC of £40,000. Clearly if I was to take money and <em>legally</em> not pay tax my heart would not be in it - where is the challenge in that?</p> <p>In addition, my work at Spurs is not yet over. I have run my previous clubs into the ground - Bournemouth, Portsmouth, Southampton and West Ham - but have not yet achieved that at Spurs. Sadly this offer was a season too early. Of course, I would welcome the opportunity to bankrupt a club in Dubai but such success would always be overshadowed by Sheikh Mohammed's success in bankrupting <em>all</em> of Dubai." </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=1017#post-2593 Tue, 16 Mar 2010 13:58:08 +0000 malgor 2593@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Me, too. <strong><strike>COF</strike>FEE NATION</strong>. </p>