http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/tags.php?tag=sun The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Sun, 26 May 2013 00:20:02 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=44694#post-127984 Fri, 29 Jun 2012 01:58:22 +0000 confuzzled 127984@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>With the north of Britain gripped in floods the inhabitants has put faith in the “fire orb”. Apparently there is a “sphere of fire” that rest in sky, but British scientist have found little evidence for this, ancient stone tablets have claim that at the beginning of time “the earth made love to the sky to create a son of born of fire”.</p> <p>Scientist have suggested that the mythical phenomenon is “like rain but only warm and dry”. Records that date back to the summer 2011 suggest that a weather condition that resemble the myth had happened but only briefly, but the majority of the British public remains skeptical. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=43786#post-125227 Wed, 06 Jun 2012 11:46:01 +0000 Duff 125227@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Amateur stargazers and top astronomers alike are said to be amazed following a sensational once in a lifetime occurrence earlier today, when reports started to surface from the world's top monitoring facilities that a white Ford Transit Van had been observed on the surface of the Sun.</p> <p>It's strongly suspected the van - Reg HGT 432 S with "I wish my Mrs was as dirty as this van" scrawled across its back doors - is a piece of the much talked about space debris that's littering our skies everywhere; in locations as far apart as St Austell and South Uist.</p> <p>Prof. Barney Lingholm explains. "Well there's so much junk and detritus up there; stuff that we've dumped following various space missions and experiments and so forth, that it was only a matter of time before something like this happened."</p> <p>And it's an ill wind, because The London Borough of Camden has laid claim to the Sun, insisting that the massive gaseous ball is closest to them, and that therefore it falls within the Borough's boundaries. The parking department, with the help of NASA scientists, is believed to be assembling a team of <em>Astro-Wardens</em> who will travel to our life-sustaining celestial neighbour to issue the offending van with a ticket for parking in contravention of the relevant bye-law. </p> <p>Spokesman, Neville Richmond, says, "We see it as our duty to issue a fixed penalty notice. It sends a message to others who may think they can park just anywhere they fancy. But with The Olympics coming up it's vitally important that, for the sake of <u>all</u> our visitors, we keep things moving. So when this driver gets back to their van they'll be in for a nasty shock. We intend to throw the book at them."</p> <p>Just how the van got there remains a mystery, but unconfirmed reports have pointed the finger of suspicion at rogue waste disposal contractor, Reg Trinder from Tonbridge Wells in Kent. Readers may remember that he was the target of a sting operation, set up by Matt Allwright, the blokey presenter of the BBC's popular consumer affairs programme, <em>Watchdog</em>. Trinder was "named and shamed" by Allwright in September 2007, as having been the mastermind behind the illegal dumping of a specially micro-chipped settee in a lay-by just off the A23. </p> <p>So far all attempts to contact Mr. Trinder have came to nothing as his phone has been ringing out continually. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=27900#post-77110 Sat, 16 Jul 2011 06:37:38 +0000 Golgo13 77110@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Welcome. </p> <p>Liked it. Five stars. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=27900#post-77064 Fri, 15 Jul 2011 21:51:33 +0000 scrumper 77064@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>In another daring move to sign mediocre British talent, Liverpool Football Club today signed free agent Rebekah Brooks for a fee thought to have broken the British transfer record. A spokesman at the club refused to comment on the fee, saying however, it will probably be revealed by an in depth Sun investigation. Brooks joins the other average underperforming trio of Charlie Adams, Stewart Downing and Andy Carroll all recently offloaded to Anfield by a freakish torrent of dosh showered on their former unsuspecting clubs .<br /> “King” Kenny Dalglish defended his bizarre buying spree, saying about Brooks “I can’t wait to see her patrolling midfield scowling at the opposition, staring down their hard men, and of course letting me know what the squad are saying behind me back.” </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=27694#post-76459 Tue, 12 Jul 2011 09:51:17 +0000 Sinnick 76459@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Good work. 5 Daily Stars. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=27694#post-76455 Tue, 12 Jul 2011 09:30:15 +0000 Vertically Challenged Giant 76455@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Good work Oxy, and completely different to what my idea was originally. 5* </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=27694#post-76400 Mon, 11 Jul 2011 16:14:32 +0000 Quaz 76400@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Nice one Oxy </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=27694#post-76395 Mon, 11 Jul 2011 15:11:51 +0000 button 76395@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Like it</p> <p>I'm sure our very own sugartits can empathise with Kaite-Jo. (In fact I'd quite like to see them empathising together) </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=27694#post-76394 Mon, 11 Jul 2011 15:07:01 +0000 Oxbridge 76394@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Sun columnist Katie-Jo, 23, from Leicester has complained that the paper is still confining her to the 'News in Briefs' column, despite her nuanced, wordy style being better suited to two-page features. The sultry brunette has worked for The Sun since she was 19 and from Derby, but has never had more than 25 words printed in a single day, although her norks have frequently occupied a full page.</p> <p>'Last week, for instance, I wrote 1,800 words on the the role of the monarchy in Commonwealth countries and how royal tours continue to cement our ties with former colonies even as trade ties weaken,' said Katie-Jo, 34-24-34. 'But what did they print? 'Katie-Jo, 23, from Leicester is happy that Wiliam and Kate's Canadian tour went so well. 'It's wonderful to see them so happy together. Diana would have been proud' she said'. What a travesty.'</p> <p>Sun insiders have advised Katie-Jo to be patient, telling her that a picture often says as much as a thousand words, especially if it contains a terrific pair of norks. However, she has warned that unless she is given more opportunities to expound on her philosophy, she may have to consider drastic alternatives.</p> <p>'Nuts magazine pays better and you get to write about all kinds of things, like how you once had sex in a lift,' she said. 'But I'm hopeful we can compromise. Maybe they can just print my picture at the top right. HR have told me they can do this, though they don't have any pictures of me with a top on. They do it like that with Johann Hari at the Independent and I hope one day he will plagiarise me too, though admittedly I don't suppose anyone wants to see his norks.'</p> <p>[From original idea by Vertically Challenged Giant] </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=27659#post-76355 Mon, 11 Jul 2011 09:36:00 +0000 button 76355@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Love this </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=27659#post-76343 Mon, 11 Jul 2011 08:56:45 +0000 Sinnick 76343@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Great idea, nice it see it on the FP with a few tweaks by Ed.</p> <p>Curious, isn't it, that someone running a subsidiary with allegations that many of its employees and agents are routinely breaking the law doesn't get a tad angry ? I'd have thought that most people in her situation would be throwing staff out the window, at least, rather than keeping quiet. I'm surprised the Murdochs aren't angrier, too.</p> <p>Just saying I'm curious and surprised, nothing more. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=27659#post-76274 Sun, 10 Jul 2011 12:17:18 +0000 virtuallywill 76274@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Mr and Mrs Rupert Murdoch, Prince of Melbourne, King of New York and Kingmaker of England arrived to adoring crowds on the Royal jet Sky 1 at an airport near their office today.<br /> The Murdoch's wearing a very dark blue suit and an entourage, walked briskly up the red carpet and gave knowing glance to their adoring subscribers.<br /> Later today The Murdoch's will grant an audience to the alleged Prime Minister as well as find time for many charitable acts such as closing a newspaper, starting a newspaper, planting a tree, burying several trusted minions and playing polo with the head of a leading politician.<br /> The official visit will continue tomorrow with a charitable donation to the Redheads dressed in black fund, Patron Rebekah Brooks, Anne Robinson if wet.<br /> As the visit was hastily organized many of the royal reporters were caught unaware and were left covering the free holiday of an R.A.F pilot and a part time accessory buyer in California. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=10204#post-28159 Wed, 11 Aug 2010 17:09:00 +0000 pinxit 28159@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>'Cracker'! ***** </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=10204#post-28158 Wed, 11 Aug 2010 16:56:22 +0000 Golgo13 28158@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Cheers! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=10204#post-28157 Wed, 11 Aug 2010 16:51:36 +0000 Skylarking 28157@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Splendid, tasteless and original. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=10204#post-28151 Wed, 11 Aug 2010 15:58:01 +0000 Tristan Shout 28151@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Very good. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=10204#post-28058 Wed, 11 Aug 2010 12:09:46 +0000 Mr Target 28058@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Thumbs up, sir. 5 to you. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=10204#post-27981 Wed, 11 Aug 2010 08:27:48 +0000 Sharpehunter 27981@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>There could be a blockbuster movie script in here.. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=10204#post-27979 Wed, 11 Aug 2010 08:23:07 +0000 sauce 27979@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Very sharp. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=10204#post-27976 Wed, 11 Aug 2010 08:19:15 +0000 SingingHinny 27976@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Very smart and builds to a triumphant finish. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=10204#post-27969 Wed, 11 Aug 2010 08:09:59 +0000 jp1885 27969@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Only 3 stars? Allow me to correct that - nice one Golgo! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=10204#post-27965 Wed, 11 Aug 2010 08:03:53 +0000 Golgo13 27965@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Police announced yesterday that the serial killer formerly known as ‘the Scented Slasher’, would for the time being be called ‘Killer A’, saying they needed more time to find a common theme to his crimes and a nickname to reflect them.</p> <p>The first two victims, found with multiple stab-wounds and doused with L’Air du Temps in woods close to their homes, were both women in their early twenties who had worked on perfume counters at central London department stores. CCTV images and cash-register records confirmed that the same man had purchased a 30ml bottle of L’Air du Temps from both women on the days of their disappearances, leading police to link the two crimes and dub him ‘the Scented Slasher’. </p> <p>His next victim, however, was a 53-year old taxi-driver, who was found by joggers shot dead in his cab in Richmond Park, with the index finger on his left hand removed, and the Chinese character for “Sun” written in blood on the windscreen. </p> <p>‘With no perfume involved, a different weapon, and the other new details, we couldn’t keep calling him the ‘Scented Slasher’, so we called in a consultant,’ explained Detective Inspector Craig King, leading the investigation. ‘We showed him what we had, and he quickly noticed that each victim had recently come back from a holiday in the Costa del Sol. ‘Sol’ was Spanish for ‘sun’ which tied in with the pictogram, and they had all stayed at the same resort, so we settled on the ‘Marbella Murderer’. It was tying together, we thought we were getting somewhere, and we had the alliteration too.’ </p> <p>That nickname lasted only two weeks, however, because the next victim, an elderly woman found asphyxiated in her Finchley nursing home bed, had had no connection with Spain. The task was further complicated because the killer had placed a Vandoren V.12 reed on her forehead, and had shortened her emergency alarm cord with a double-loop bowline, suggesting, perhaps, a nautical clarinet player.</p> <p>At a loss to bring all these elements together in one nickname, the police settled on “The London Serial Killer”, until last week, when the fifth victim, a 39-year-old bar manager, was found poisoned, his mouth stuffed with chess pieces, wearing a wetsuit, in his garden in Swansea.</p> <p>Senior criminologist, Dr Bruce Yates is calling Killer A ‘the worst serial killer in decades’, adding, ‘I mean, he is apallingly bad - completely rubbish. His clues are derivative, half-arsed and disjointed. It’s ruddy amateur hour and makes a mockery of the whole thing. There’s absolutely no coherent crescendo of menace, he hasn't taunted the investigators and he shows no signs of ‘wanting to be stopped’. I can’t imagine anyone choosing to watch a TV adaptation of this tosser.’ </p> <p>It was also announced that if evidence linking Killer A to a series of ‘boiler room’ share scams defrauding members of the public of over 12 million pounds is confirmed , the police will consider ‘Random Crime Dude’. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=3865#post-11048 Thu, 06 May 2010 06:26:47 +0000 virtuallywill 11048@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Fill it in later.... </p>