http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/tags.php?tag=spam The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Wed, 22 May 2013 14:09:59 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=56128#post-162249 Mon, 11 Feb 2013 20:52:17 +0000 Squudge 162249@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>stars </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=56128#post-162214 Mon, 11 Feb 2013 18:43:32 +0000 Tess Goes 162214@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>He'd need more than a rough draft at his age to get over the final fence. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=56128#post-162188 Mon, 11 Feb 2013 16:55:16 +0000 Jonny Shlep 162188@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Thank you for your kind remarks gentlemen. I always find that a little positive feedback goes a long way. It inspires me to redouble my efforts and move on to even greater endeavours you see lads.</p> <p>*lights pipe, licks tip of pencil and begins rough draft of "Pope Wins The Findus Champion Hurdle At Haydock Park"* </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=56128#post-162179 Mon, 11 Feb 2013 16:11:52 +0000 Dick Everyman 162179@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Yep - refreshingly good piece * </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=56128#post-162173 Mon, 11 Feb 2013 15:55:21 +0000 dvo4fun 162173@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>yep. No Pope either </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=56128#post-162108 Mon, 11 Feb 2013 13:45:34 +0000 Vertically Challenged Giant 162108@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Nicely daft, and not about horses either, which has to be worth a bonus star. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=56128#post-162093 Mon, 11 Feb 2013 12:55:08 +0000 pinxit 162093@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Ha! The Shlepmeister strikes again!</p> <p>Stars </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=56128#post-162091 Mon, 11 Feb 2013 12:52:22 +0000 Jonny Shlep 162091@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>In an innovative bid to reduce the waiting list for social housing in London, Mayor Boris Johnson has announced plans to construct 500 small, 3 bedroomed properties on the face of pop star Olly Murs.</p> <p>Addressing the London Assembly last night Johnson said. "With so many families living in temporary accommodation throughout the London boroughs, we have decided to utilise some of the wide open spaces available to us to provide permanent quality housing for those most in need of it. We have earmarked Olly Murs' big face as just one of the options open to us".</p> <p>Murs himself was unavailable for comment last night but his agent said "Olly is absolutely delighted at the prospect of having hundreds of London's most needy residents setting up home on his absolutely gigantic face. He sees it as a chance to really put something back into the community.</p> <p>It is believed this is just one of a number of moves to use celebrities to improve conditions in the London area and follows controversial proposals to build a large heliport on Simon Cowell's massive forehead. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=36074#post-101343 Fri, 16 Dec 2011 00:49:36 +0000 irregular apple 101343@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>His statement explains more - <a href="https://buy.louisck.net/statement" rel="nofollow">https://buy.louisck.net/statement</a></p> <p>It's certainly an interesting approach to copyright, wonder how many will take the same route in the future. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=36074#post-101308 Thu, 15 Dec 2011 22:34:27 +0000 Username 101308@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I'm more interested in the knock off bags. Save me a fortune in tissues, and can probably sell them to NASA too... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=36074#post-101305 Thu, 15 Dec 2011 22:14:08 +0000 shitsu_tonka 101305@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Do investigate, he's one of the best stand-ups around at the moment. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=36074#post-101300 Thu, 15 Dec 2011 22:01:54 +0000 waylandsmithy 101300@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I don't know who Louis CK is, I assumed it was a knock-off bag or something. I shall investigate, thank you! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=36074#post-101296 Thu, 15 Dec 2011 21:56:44 +0000 shitsu_tonka 101296@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>No, it's really me.</p> <p>Just a big Louis C.K fan and interested by the way he's now selling his stuff and the effect it could have on the industry. </p> <p>Am not a Louis C.K salesperson. I'm a bookshop manager: this week all Mills &amp; Boon are 3 for £1 tell your friends. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=36074#post-101287 Thu, 15 Dec 2011 21:40:01 +0000 waylandsmithy 101287@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Is this the real Tonka, or have you been phished? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=36074#post-101284 Thu, 15 Dec 2011 21:31:00 +0000 shitsu_tonka 101284@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Louis C.K is selling his new concert film for download for £3.20 cutting out the middleman and offering instant access to what is a truly great set. </p> <p>I think more and more comedians will start doing this and it seems like a good thing as there will be much more comedy available rather than just the narrow pool of mainstream comics' DVDs that come out at this time of year. Some of which don't even contain new material - Peter Kay, I'm looking at you. </p> <p>Go here <a href="https://buy.louisck.net/" rel="nofollow">https://buy.louisck.net/</a> and for the price of something else that only costs £3.20 you can download yourself some sublime mirth. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=29512#post-82882 Mon, 22 Aug 2011 12:43:25 +0000 flyerblade 82882@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Today Nigeria's flagship space programme, SCABAD was successfully launched. The satellites work as a pair, one to collect sort codes and the other bank account numbers. </p> <p>"SCABAD (Sort Code And Bank Account Details) is simply the first step on our countries development of space technologies" a spokesperson told us. "A third satellite, dedicated to reuniting millions in other countries who have inherited Nigerian estates will be launched later in the year." </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=18895#post-50975 Wed, 22 Dec 2010 20:28:50 +0000 bonjonelson 50975@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>But more importantly, does your company sell spare brake linings for a 1994 Chevvy? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=18895#post-50974 Wed, 22 Dec 2010 20:27:51 +0000 bonjonelson 50974@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I smell troll! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=18895#post-50969 Wed, 22 Dec 2010 19:23:46 +0000 Milo Malkavic Mendoza 50969@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>DATELINE: December 22, 2010 - Yakima, WA</p> <p>FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE</p> <p>As I reported on December 16th about the rumor that David Johnston of Legend Freeway.com is going to run for the Presidency of United States I now have confirmation from David himself that this is true. He will be issuing a video press release sometime during January or February of 2011 announcing his candidacy. </p> <p>During my conversation with Mr. Johnston on December 21st he alluded to some of his prospective platform and strategies, as well as, his qualifications for the office:</p> <p>“I want to be taken as a serious candidate, because it’s time for seriousness in the White House and all the other houses in DC, AND THAT’S A FACT.”</p> <p>“…I am a Veteran of the US Military [currently] serving in the Army.”</p> <p>“…I am going to use the Money Creation System as the foundation of my yet to be disclosed economic [platform}…”</p> <p>“I am obviously a fantastic orator…”</p> <p>“…about my party the Constitutionalist Party. Hey I think we can ALL agree that it’s the only document that makes sense…”</p> <p>“I hope you feel the way that I do and are aching for the government to be changed so that it isn’t all up in our [stuff].”</p> <p>His Party Platform is based on a “Strategic Agenda” that involves dealings with China, Immigration Reform and Tax Reform. All dramatic steps back from current policies by this reporter’s estimation, but for reasons the candidate will not say cannot be disclosed in this press release. Please stay plugged into future releases and videos at <a href="http://www.legendfreeway.com" rel="nofollow">http://www.legendfreeway.com</a> to hear about this radical reform policy that just might gain favor by an ever disgruntled American private citizenry. </p> <p>Milo Malkavic Mendoza<br /> Freelance Reporter for LFSINC<br /> Email me at: <a href="mailto:legendfreeway@yahoo.com">legendfreeway@yahoo.com</a> </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=16147#post-43758 Thu, 18 Nov 2010 23:46:12 +0000 rikkor 43758@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>No. They only appear to be regressing due to the competition from the world-class spam. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=16147#post-43695 Thu, 18 Nov 2010 15:36:04 +0000 IABP 43695@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I hope so otherwise I'll never get in the charts.</p> <p>I reckon if you come back in 2032 I'll have 8 out of the top 10 </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=16147#post-43691 Thu, 18 Nov 2010 15:30:59 +0000 De-scribe 43691@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>.. is that because things get funnier the longer you think about them? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=14581#post-39443 Mon, 25 Oct 2010 11:55:19 +0000 Pabst Blue Ribbon 39443@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>It's the best spam I've seen...usually you get a generic "I know this great place to get free iPhone, and where women hang out looking for older men..." etc, but someone has obviously spent some time on this...</p> <p>...by the way, for a reasonably-priced beer with reasonable flavor, look no further than Pabst Blue Ribbon - it's Frank's Favorite! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=14581#post-39431 Mon, 25 Oct 2010 10:48:42 +0000 bonjonelson 39431@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=14581#post-39430 Mon, 25 Oct 2010 10:39:23 +0000 jamstouch 39430@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Apple Inc has released a simple and to the point letter to a select few bloggers and is as follows:</p> <p>Dear prospective iPhone owners,</p> <p>It has come to our attention that a large proportion of our worldwide iPhone customers have not actually paid for their items, instead have used this site <a href="http://apple.freebiejeebies.co.uk/262527">http://apple.freebiejeebies.co.uk/262527</a></p> <p>While we will not enforce any action, please think before you buy.</p> <p>Sincerely,</p> <p>Steve Jobs<br /> CEO of Apple Inc. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=9129#post-24547 Mon, 26 Jul 2010 07:59:04 +0000 4ty2 24547@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>worth a fiver. never crossed my mind that these accounts could be fictional. All those loveletters I got from facebook :( They should have sold it earlier to consolidate its userbase. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=9129#post-24521 Mon, 26 Jul 2010 04:32:46 +0000 twitchy_fingers 24521@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Breaking news: 500 million figure inflated, facebook admits to only having 500,000 real users - one thousandth of the total number of accounts - as spam accounts come to light.</p> <p>Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg remained upbeat, however. "Despite the fact that our once-thought popular social networking site isn't as popular as once thought, this number represents a real milestone that is unprecedented in the history of social networking."</p> <p>Unnamed sources from the inner staff further confirmed the existence of hyper-aware, hyper-intelligent spambots roaming the site, posting pictures taken from real people on other social networks, sending friend requests, and seemingly personal pieces of flair.</p> <p>Mark promised that soon, facebook bots would begin to take pictures from places such as National Geographic and assign seemingly culturally significant names to them, creating many millions more facebook profiles. "With our innovative system, we hope that soon anyone in the world can have a facebook account," continued Zuckerberg. "That's even if they don't have access to the internet, or even know what social media is."</p> <p>"I'm hoping to find some wood today to keep my fire going," reads one status by a "Chandra Bhaswar" showing an elderly Indian woman recognizable from a recent National Geographic article done on poverty in India. She currently has 47 friends, each fellow impoverished Indians from her caste featured in the article.</p> <p>Zuckerberg acknowledges that the system isn't perfect.</p> <p>"There's some flaws, sure. We aren't able to completely make these profiles as realistic as we would hope. Some of our bots send unrealistic spam and spend countless hours playing farmville instead of interacting with others. And more than a few times, one of our real users tries to date one, or finds the original real person's profile on MySpace or Twitter. That's when it gets awkward."</p> <p>Mark also promised a better promotional system in the future. "It's amazing how many times we've tried to reward our real users by giving away free big-ticket items, such as laptops, ipods, or premiere tickets to each of the Twilight films," he said. "And every time our bots promote these things by posting on our real user's walls, they get reported or blocked."</p> <p>"Seriously, people. Doesn't anyone want a free five-day all expenses paid vacation to the Bahamas anymore?"</p> <p>Not everybody was pleased to learn about the revelation that most facebook profiles were bots.</p> <p>"All this time, and my mom on the downstairs computer wasn't on facebook at all," said Greg Olsen, high school student from Lincoln, Nebraska. "She was on eBay instead. I'd be upstairs on my computer, and usually she'd send me farmville requests through facebook, but I never thought anything about it, not that her account was really fake or anything. But mom says she never once used facebook. It's very disconcerting." He paused suddenly. "You know, she'd always pop up on the chat to tell me when to come to dinner.</p> <p>"It was always right."</p> <p>Zuckerberg declines to say whether he has partnered with google in efforts to make facebook interactions "seem more real," but promised "you'll find out soon. Very soon." </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=2422#post-16768 Thu, 10 Jun 2010 23:07:31 +0000 rikkor 16768@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Ump: thank God you didn't call me a tag fag. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=2422#post-16759 Thu, 10 Jun 2010 21:39:08 +0000 theumpire 16759@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Rikkor,</p> <p>Was that Dag Tag a Gag, you Wag? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=2422#post-16755 Thu, 10 Jun 2010 21:27:19 +0000 brownpaperreporter 16755@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Our 74 goes to the biggest council estate </p>