http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/tags.php?tag=soccer The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Thu, 23 May 2013 13:36:50 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=7313#post-19616 Mon, 28 Jun 2010 12:09:18 +0000 Golgo13 19616@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Should modern painkillers be allowed for football injuries? </p> <p>Should the players be allowed to use motorised transport to get to the matches? </p> <p>Should the games even be televised in the first place? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=7313#post-19613 Mon, 28 Jun 2010 11:54:08 +0000 Brenda SugarTits69 19613@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Sepp Blatter's Amish upbringing revealed. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=7313#post-19612 Mon, 28 Jun 2010 11:52:05 +0000 wirralmatt 19612@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Fifa staff have had their requests for a Windows upgrade rejected by senior managers according to an irate administrator.</p> <p>The member of staff who wished to remain nameless said "We've been working on Windows 3.1 for more than 20 years and we thought a request to upgrade to Windows 95 would be passed by the management without any problems. Rejecting this upgrade is just senseless. Everyone in Fifa agrees that it is time technology was introduced to our offices!"</p> <p>A leaked memo from Sepp Blatter to senior Fifa IT Managers is reported to have said "Technology is not necessary in the game of football. Ultimately the work has to be done by a human being so let's just leave it to our administrators to do without the use of complex technology. Afterall, if we start introducing technology to our offices, where will we draw the line?"</p> <p>It is understood that the administrators at Fifa will be consulting their unions for further support on the matter. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=1040#post-2648 Tue, 16 Mar 2010 19:11:50 +0000 jmcl 2648@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>David Beckham’s close personal friend and so-called ‘resurrection guru’ Lazarus of Bethany has admitted the England footballer has ‘not a chance in hell’ of playing for England again.</p> <p>As an ancient man renowned for his ability to defy the perils of time, Beckham looked destined to go to the World Cup as part of Fabio Capello’s England squad this summer.</p> <p>But the long-term protégé of Lazarus ruptured his Achilles tendon whilst playing for AC Milan against Chievo in Italy at the weekend, all but ending his hopes of playing in his fourth World Cup and his career.</p> <p>Lazarus – who famously overcame a severe bout of death to play in a local five-a-side tournament arranged by the village elders four days later more than 2000 years ago – flew out to Milan from his base in the Holy Lands on Sunday night.</p> <p>He consoled his close friend and offer advice on recovery and resurrection techniques, including the latest technology being developed by NASA.</p> <p>But hours later the self-styled survival expert emerged inconsolable before delivering the devastating blow for England and Beckham fans around the globe.</p> <p>“We tried our best,” Lazarus said. “But it was immediately apparent that there was absolutely no hope whatsoever, not a cat’s chance in hell. Seriously it was all over. Not even I could come back from that.</p> <p>“And we can confirm that at 23.13 David Beckham’s career passed away.”</p> <p>Lazarus, whose adventures and achievements were chronicled in the Bible, insisted he had consulted ‘all his contacts including those with divine powers’ in hope of saving Beckham – but it was to no avail.</p> <p>The England midfielder enjoyed a hugely successful career with the accumulation of millions of pounds and the odd cup or shield.</p> <p>His association with Lazarus began after he was famously hanged at every in stadium in the land in a show of public dissatisfaction at his ill-time red card against Argentina in the 1998 World Cup.</p> <p>But Beckham recovered strongly to lead Manchester United to the treble that year. His natural flair for resurrection and reinvention gained plaudits from religious fanatics, politicians and celebrities around the world – including the Pope, Peter Mandelson and Madonna.</p> <p>After Beckham’s demise, speculation is now suggesting Lazarus’ career could be over.</p> <p>He has worked with AC Milan for a number of years and is also a close personal friend of former Italian left-back Paolo Maldini.</p> <p>But the resurrection guru has come under increasing pressure in recent years with the death of a number careers and his inability to rehabilitate Brazilian Ronaldinho.</p> <p>More at...</p> <p><a href="http://sportingballs.wordpress.com/" rel="nofollow">http://sportingballs.wordpress.com/</a> </p>