http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/tags.php?tag=snooker The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Fri, 24 May 2013 01:16:34 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=57064#post-165261 Wed, 27 Feb 2013 23:07:30 +0000 Bob 165261@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Ronnie O’Sullivan, the lovable cockney pocket filler, is back on the professional snooker tour. But his actions during a recent practice session demonstrated that the troubled player's return to health is very much a long shot.</p> <p>Ronnie rejoined the tour players' practice room by lining up ten 50 pences on the first table and proposing 'winner stays on'. When he was told he could play for free, he proceeded to take off his shoes and socks and cue up using his feet. Ronnie has been known to play right and left handed, but the rules of snooker clearly state that at least one foot should be touching the floor. </p> <p>In between shots, Ronnie was often spotted trying to distract his opponent before picking up the white ball and moving it around the table. By the end of the session, he had covered his face in cue chalk and was claiming to be the first smurf to have scored a 147.</p> <p>Tempers then flared when it became apparent that Ronnie’s 50 pences had gone missing. All eyes were on John Higgins who denied any knowledge of anything.</p> <p>After calming down, Ronnie’s press conference focused on how he was intending to win the upcoming world championship. He commented “I’m gonna pot the reds, then screw back for the yellow green brown blue pink and black.”</p> <p>His words, obviously quoted from Chas and Dave’s song ‘Snooker Loopy’ summed up his state of mind: potty. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=41738#post-119045 Wed, 18 Apr 2012 11:34:37 +0000 yens123 119045@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>The premier event of snooker was today thrown into disarray as reports surfaced today that the 'Blackball' has refused to take part in this years event unless her wage demands are met.</p> <p>Blackball is apparently dissatisfied with the money on offer from Snookers governing body and was quoted as saying "not only do I get hit more than the other colours, Im worth more points".</p> <p>Reverend Al Sharpton commented "Its a shame to see a white ball hitting all the coloured balls, especially the blackball. I thought we had overcome this kind of abuse and inequality based on colour decades ago".</p> <p>Blackball has caused controversy previously in major snooker events, the most famous of which was when she decided not to go into the pocket during the deciding frame of the infamous 1985 world championships' final frame because "[Steve] Davis wasn't giving me a big enough cut".</p> <p>Organisers are considering bringing in a special purple ball that was first made famous by Oprah Winfrey's portrail in "The Color Purple" when she played an unwanted sphere set in the environment of the Welsh Snooker Open of 1982. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=5508#post-15028 Wed, 02 Jun 2010 13:39:24 +0000 riesler 15028@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>interesting. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=5508#post-15013 Wed, 02 Jun 2010 12:09:38 +0000 Svendo 15013@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Steve Davis today unveiled the filming schedule for his attempt at box office stardom with his directorial debut of "Crucible". The film will follow the life of a young snooker player attempting to become world number one even though he was born ginger. George Clooney, Liam Neeson and Mick Hucknall are all speculated in the lead role, with ex-hulk star Lou Ferigno already being tipped for the role of Hurricane Higgins.<br /> Steve Davis revealed why he was making the film in an exclusive interview.<br /> "A lot of people didnt realise the struggle I had to win my first world title. Especially the bit where the gang of ninjas tried to attack me on Sheffield High Street forcing me to defend myself with deadly kung fu before escaping and making love to a top class bird on the bonnet of a mark 3 Escort."</p> <p>Brian Blessed is also confirmed to play the commentator 'Whispering' Ted Lowe. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=3822#post-10950 Wed, 05 May 2010 14:43:04 +0000 Doctor Moptop 10950@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>British journalism was thrown into disarray after top snooker star, John Higgins, alleged that the News of The World employed members of the Russian Mafia to write articles.</p> <p>“I feared for my life,” said Mr Higgins. “There was an implicit threat that if I didn’t engage in a threesome with Petra Petrovavich and Anna Kareninavich, and let the NOTW photograph the event for a four page full colour exposé, then I wouldn’t get out of Moscow alive.”</p> <p>Mr Pat Mooney, Higgins’ manager, concurred. “It was easier just to nod and go along with whatever they suggested. To be fair, their accents were so Russian it was difficult to understand what they were saying. Who knows what we agreed to?”</p> <p>Both men looked shocked and devastated but warm in their Cossack hats. “We’ve possibly been idiots,” they said, “But we believed that we were being interviewed by serious Russian crime figures. We are the victims of clever editing.”</p> <p>A spokesperson for the News of the World strenuously denied that the paper had ever been involved in clever editing. </p>