http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/tags.php?tag=showbiz The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Sat, 18 May 2013 16:03:52 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=49093#post-141681 Thu, 04 Oct 2012 18:04:29 +0000 Vertically Challenged Giant 141681@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I like this idea, but I probably would do because I did something along the same lines a while back about a woman having not slept with Ryan Giggs, and I thought that was a good idea too.</p> <p>Don't think the story quite does it justice though, maybe wants trimming down to NiB length. Would benefit from some commas too. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=49093#post-141663 Thu, 04 Oct 2012 16:40:30 +0000 Jonny Shlep 141663@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Yep you're absolutely right Pinx (there had to be a first time I suppose). I've substituted "challenge" for "reinforce" and it puts the whole piece in the right context.</p> <p>You know yourself mate that sometimes you dash these things off, give em a quick read through and miss these little syntax faux pas.</p> <p>Or perhaps you dont you flash, ridiculously coiffured monkey you!</p> <p>Love the pic. Nice one mate :) </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=49093#post-141659 Thu, 04 Oct 2012 16:24:11 +0000 pinxit 141659@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Like the Beeb angle - with their cries of innocence and 'mea non culpa' protestations over cover-ups. There's a logic there.</p> <p>Might it not be a riposte documentary from them to the ITV allegations?</p> <p>So... "...shock claim in a forthcoming follow up BBC documentary which will <strong>challenge</strong> allegations made in an ITV expose..."</p> <p>Just a thought.</p> <p>Anyhow, the lure of the creme de menthe promise is too much. Try this squire...</p> <p><img src="http://i830.photobucket.com/albums/zz223/pinxit2/Satire/jsdoc.jpg"> </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=49093#post-141650 Thu, 04 Oct 2012 15:48:01 +0000 Jonny Shlep 141650@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Cheers Stan! At least somebody aint been bitten by the Pinxit Pedant Parasite hehehe</p> <p>All edited and chronologically correct now Pinx. Do I win £5.00?</p> <p>Creme de fucking menthe???</p> <p>What are you mate? Some kind of bummer?</p> <p>*seethe, gasp, wheeze, quiver* </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=49093#post-141647 Thu, 04 Oct 2012 15:35:44 +0000 pinxit 141647@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Language Timo, er, Jonny! No need to * flounce *.</p> <p>You still have time to edit the Savile typos, tweak the timeline as was constructively suggested by dvo4, etc.</p> <p>I'm finding the core reversal idea not quite funny enough as it stands. Mebbe attention-seeking nutters and trolls can be tough to make really funny, as they tend to be sinister and threatening or, as is often the case, funnier than anything you can think up?</p> <p>Dunno, just a thought.</p> <p>Mine's a pint of creme de menthe, with the froth blown off, if you please. =] </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=49093#post-141646 Thu, 04 Oct 2012 15:30:08 +0000 Anonymous 141646@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Nice one Jonny..</p> <p>Stars from Stan </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=49093#post-141639 Thu, 04 Oct 2012 14:54:21 +0000 Jonny Shlep 141639@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Thanks dvo. Points taken on board although to be brutally fair to myself I did kinda think of altering the timeline thing to suggest that it was a follow up documentary but you know what?................I just plain couldn't be arsed :)</p> <p>Thanks again.</p> <p>Jonny </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=49093#post-141624 Thu, 04 Oct 2012 13:32:45 +0000 dvo4fun 141624@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Slow build up but it made me laugh. </p> <p>Perhaps you could fiddle with para 2; my latest intel. is that Sir Jimmy has already been 'unmasked'. On ITV last night and on numerous trails beforehand </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=49093#post-141613 Thu, 04 Oct 2012 12:30:25 +0000 Jonny Shlep 141613@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>You absolute cunt mate! I just gave you 5 and a promise of half a lager shandy!</p> <p>Talk about harsh and uncaring!!!</p> <p>:((((((((((( </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=49093#post-141607 Thu, 04 Oct 2012 12:19:29 +0000 pinxit 141607@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>It's Savile with one 'L'.</p> <p>Dodgy stars. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=49093#post-141606 Thu, 04 Oct 2012 12:15:17 +0000 Jonny Shlep 141606@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>There were fresh allegations in the ongoing saga surrounding Sir Jimmy Savile last night when a 54 year old woman made the claim that despite the fact that she was once an underage girl she had never been sexually abused by the late Sir Jimmy Savile MBE.</p> <p>Mrs Janet Coyte from The Isle Of Mull in The Inner Hebrides makes the shock claim in a forthcoming follow up BBC documentary which will challenge allegations made in an ITV expose that the late TV star and radio DJ was a serial abuser of girls as young as 12 during his long career as a popular showbiz icon.</p> <p>In a shockingly frank interview Mrs Coyte claims "I know that a number of other women have made allegations of being sexually abused by Sir Jimmy but I can only speak for myself and state quite categorically that throughout my early teens he never once even so much as made an inappropriate remark to me let alone tried to touch me intimately. I've always found him to be a perfect gentleman."</p> <p>Between bouts of sobbing she went on. "Yes I know I have spent my entire life on a remote Hebridian island hundreds of miles from either Leeds or London where Jimmy is alleged to have committed these terrible acts but that's beside the point. If all these shocking accusations were true then why didn't he simply get the ferry from the mainland and subject me to a terrifying and traumatic ordeal when I was 13 or 14? It just doesn't make any sense and I'm convinced these women are simply attention seeking mischief makers determined to besmirch the name of a great man when he's unable to defend himself. I think it's disgusting to be honest with you"</p> <p>Mrs Coyte was unavailable for comment last night but it's believed that she's also prepared to categorically deny that foul mouthed celebrity chef Gordon Ramsay ever told her that her cooking was "Absolute fucking shite" </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=28268#post-78479 Fri, 22 Jul 2011 17:13:30 +0000 waylandsmithy 78479@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>You took the bit out about stuffing donkeys with marmalade? Oh well, your choice. 5! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=28268#post-78478 Fri, 22 Jul 2011 17:10:16 +0000 Corrigan 78478@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Cheers. will do. Anyone who reads your comment about the kidneys now is going to wonder what the fuck you're on about. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=28268#post-78473 Fri, 22 Jul 2011 16:59:28 +0000 waylandsmithy 78473@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Has the potential to be great, and is really, really good but the last bit threw me.</p> <p>You can edit your posts, by the way, if you want to. Click on the green 'Edit' </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=28268#post-78469 Fri, 22 Jul 2011 16:51:25 +0000 Corrigan 78469@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Should have got someone to read it first. It's supposed to be the doctor talking to the reporter offering to buy one of his kidneys. Never mind. Cheers for the comment. Enjoyed your stuff too. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=28268#post-78467 Fri, 22 Jul 2011 16:45:27 +0000 waylandsmithy 78467@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I really like it, but then I got to the kidneys and didn't understand the joke. What's the story about the kidneys? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=28268#post-78466 Fri, 22 Jul 2011 16:40:43 +0000 Corrigan 78466@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>News has emerged that tween idol Robert Pattinson suffered a serious pouting injury on the set of his new film ‘Cosmopolis.’ The incident was apparently hidden from the press at the time so as not to scare jittery studio executives.</p> <p>The accident is said to have occurred as a result of a reaction shot that got out of hand. An on set source said: ‘It was totally gross! David (Cronenberg, the film’s director) set up a reaction shot and asked Rob to pretend that his PA had forgotten to put sugar in his cappuccino. This must have really got to him because he gave the most ass slapped pout I have ever seen. Next thing, his face just seemed to implode. The cheeks went first, and then the rest of his features were sucked in too. It was like what happened to the Nazis at the end of ‘Raiders of the Lost Ark.’ Just Horrible.’</p> <p>R: Patts fans need not worry however. Plastic surgeon to the stars Dr Blake Alverez commented: ‘There is unlikely to be any lasting damage. A good doctor would have been able sort it in a few minutes with nothing more than a household plunger and a steady hand. I’ve dealt with these kinds of injury many times before. I was smuggled onto the set of ‘Troy’ three times to treat Brad Pitt. A few days later, no one is any the wiser.’ </p>