http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/tags.php?tag=sherlock-holmes The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Tue, 21 May 2013 21:26:39 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=51772#post-148925 Thu, 15 Nov 2012 16:17:07 +0000 Jonny Shlep 148925@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>The British Medical Association are claiming that their members are being unfairly targeted following the recent furore surrounding the posthumous striking off of Sherlock Holmes loyal companion Dr John H Watson last week.</p> <p>Watson's track record as a GP was examined by the General Medical Council after a number of aggrieved relatives came forward claiming that he'd been guilty of gross negligence whilst treating their forebears in the 1880s due to the fact that he was constantly absent from his London surgery owing to his frequent adventures with the famous Baker Street sleuth and that he'd often miss house calls to go wandering around bleak moorland in search of spectral hounds and would even give patients the wrong medicine after becoming preoccupied with plotting the downfall of Holmes' arch nemesis Moriarty.</p> <p>Since the investigation a number of other relatives have come forward with similar complaints aimed at a number of deceased physicians, including Dr Fu Man Chu, Dr Jekyll and Doctor Doom out of Marvel Comics.</p> <p>A spokesman for the BMA told reporters. "Whilst we realise that Watson was a pretty dismal physician and perhaps would have been better suited to a career at Scotland Yard, my colleagues and I feel very strongly that there's been an almost unhealthy zeal about the way the media has handled this business which quite frankly borders on hysteria. People's lives and careers are at stake here and immense care has to be taken to ensure that only the guilty are brought to book."</p> <p>Fresh rumours were again ignited last night as the Twitter social networking site was swamped by an avalanche of tweets making thus far unfounded allegations and complaints about Dr Josef Mengele, dubbed The Angel Of Death, who, it's alleged, conducted a number of macabre experiments on concentration camp prisoners during the second world war.</p> <p>His great grandson Herman Mengele strongly defended his grandfather last night saying. "He may well have experimented on helpless camp internees but he didn't want to do it, Hitler forced him into it.. He wanted to let them off!"</p> <p>In a rather bizarre twist Scotland Yard earlier announced to the media that ex Radio 1 DJ Dave Lee Travis has been arrested and taken in for questioning after being linked to the recent Jimmy Savile child abuse scandal. The yard issued a statement which said. "We have arrested a 61 year old male on suspicion of a number of sexual offences and while he's not a doctor as far as we know, he is a complete and utter nob and as far as I'm concerned he's had it coming for a long time". </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=50455#post-145545 Wed, 24 Oct 2012 21:07:00 +0000 Chubbington 145545@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Following recent, widespread accusations of authorities' failure to deal with institutionalised paedophilia over a period of time spanning decades, authorities have turned to legendary consulting detective Sherlock Holmes to shake up Britain's Child Protection Services. </p> <p>The move comes in light of fresh allegations made by Tom Watson MP of a paedophile ring implicating the very highest levels of government, which prompted Scotland Yard chiefs to enlist the help of the fictional Victorian crimefighter as 'Big Chief Paedo Hunter'.</p> <p>Constable Charles Dibble of The Metropolitan Police explained: “As we began to investigate claims of Paedophilia at the BBC in recent weeks it became apparent that everybody who worked in these institutions at the time of the alleged abuse was too detached from the reality of the situation for any law enforcement from this terrestrial realm to be able to help them.”</p> <p>“This left us no choice but to enlist some external help from the realm of fiction – which coincidentally was the source of most 70s BBC Employees' accounts of why they were unable to report the abuse at the time it was happening.”</p> <p>“We chose Mr Holmes ahead of Judge Dredd and Inspector Rebus because the latest paedophilia scandal surrounding government officials is basically the same plot as his most recent case, 'The House of Silk', though apparently even that far-fetched yarn full of improbable feats of cunning and gaping plot holes only contains a fraction of the flights of fancy we are expecting to experience when government officials start explaining how this paedophile ring operated for so long without them realising.”</p> <p>“We are encouraged by the work already done by Mr Holmes and his trusty assistant (Tom) Watson (MP), since the former spotted the fossilised remains of a terrified, crushed gerbil in a chest of drawers in 10 Downing Street and we are confident that his experience in hackneyed ruses will be invaluable in dealing with the testimonies of all the people who were washing their hair the whole time the abuse was happening.”</p> <p>“The fact that he himself is not actually real may be something of a stumbling block, but we are confident that it will not make our investigations in more ineffectual than they already are.” </p>