http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/tags.php?tag=sexy-halloween-costumes The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Sun, 26 May 2013 04:25:57 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=49766#post-143704 Mon, 15 Oct 2012 08:09:05 +0000 Username 143704@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>The Big Cheese of Fromology...<br /> wonderfully daft as usual </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=49766#post-143660 Sun, 14 Oct 2012 20:42:52 +0000 waylandsmithy 143660@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Britain’s leading Fromologist has finally discovered what it was that he was supposed to be doing, just hours before his official retirement.</p> <p>Dr Tristan Moorchamps, 68, has enjoyed the trappings of success associated with his field for nearly 40 years. Indeed, many of his learned colleagues have spoken of their admiration for a man who would regularly stop at nothing in his relentless pursuit of Fromological excellence. </p> <p>Renowned for his impressively obscure vocabulary as much as his manifold speech impediments, Moorchamps was custodian to his college’s hallowed fromology library. There he would spend many a long decade, translating tomes from the original Latin into Swahili and back, looking for amusing discrepancies that could be used in after-dinner anecdotes.</p> <p>“It occurred to me on the eve of retirement that I’d never once translated the blessed things into English”, admitted Moorchamps. “Perhaps if I had done so earler, I could have realised my foreordination a little more timeously.” On discovering his field of work was in fact ‘the collection of cheese labels’, Moorchamps was relieved, slightly surprised and immeasurably pleased. </p> <p>“This serendipitous breakthrough lays to rest all suggestion that I may have inadvertently wasted my life”, insisted Moorchamps. “It also explains why there was so much cheese at our graduation dinners. No wonder that the students looked so thoughtful or inspired, when I asked why there weren't any Baby Bels.” </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=46925#post-134996 Fri, 17 Aug 2012 12:45:40 +0000 Midfield Diamond 134996@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Note to self: Check whether 11 year old son is looking over your shoulder before opening Newsbiscuit. </p> <p>Brilliant FP, love it. But I may have some questions to answer later. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=46925#post-134987 Fri, 17 Aug 2012 10:28:52 +0000 beau-jolly 134987@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Gosh! Who would have thunk it would go FP without at least using the "Greek" euphomism for anal? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=46925#post-134976 Fri, 17 Aug 2012 09:38:32 +0000 Midnight Dreary 134976@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p><blockquote>sometimes Garys work gets overlooked for some strange reason</blockquote><br /> It certainly does. Sometimes you have to shout out to get the good stuff heard.</p> <p>Great FP. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=46925#post-134962 Fri, 17 Aug 2012 07:44:00 +0000 button 134962@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>So glad it got used as sometimes Garys work gets overlooked for some strange reason, and the picture is perfect! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=46925#post-134956 Fri, 17 Aug 2012 07:07:39 +0000 kga6 134956@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>As soon as I saw the headline, I knew this was a Stanton... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=46925#post-134953 Fri, 17 Aug 2012 07:00:34 +0000 Perks 134953@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>lovely FP gary. Late stars </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=46925#post-134917 Fri, 17 Aug 2012 00:01:38 +0000 The All New Jeni B 134917@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>VCG, to the best of my knowledge, capital punishment only applies to the sovereign, not their consort, so Phil-bash away! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=46925#post-134913 Thu, 16 Aug 2012 22:16:06 +0000 Vertically Challenged Giant 134913@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>You can probably still get hanged for writing this sort of thing.</p> <p>I can't say that I condone it, and definitely haven't given it 5*. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=46925#post-134912 Thu, 16 Aug 2012 22:01:06 +0000 Midnight Dreary 134912@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Excellent stuff. Unfortunately there's a sub today about Big Brother from a favoured author, so that'll go on the Front Page. </p> <p>Thank you for your efforts, anyway. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=46925#post-134905 Thu, 16 Aug 2012 20:31:54 +0000 Gary Stanton 134905@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Thanks.<br /> Para 5 would read better as "which is hardly surprising as he'd spent the entire weekend<br /> balls-deep in an unelected Head of State"</p> <p>But that would be disrespectful.. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=46925#post-134902 Thu, 16 Aug 2012 19:58:46 +0000 arthurminnit 134902@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>i prostate myself at the feet of the master........... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=46925#post-134892 Thu, 16 Aug 2012 18:57:34 +0000 The All New Jeni B 134892@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Really taking the piss. ***** </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=46925#post-134873 Thu, 16 Aug 2012 15:52:25 +0000 Scroat 134873@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>That's what happens when you get bladdered. ***** </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=46925#post-134866 Thu, 16 Aug 2012 15:04:57 +0000 pinxit 134866@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Is nothing sacred?</p> <p>***** </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=46925#post-134813 Thu, 16 Aug 2012 11:27:46 +0000 butagirl 134813@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Has anyone got a sharp stick handy? I need to poke out my mind's eye... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=46925#post-134805 Thu, 16 Aug 2012 10:59:24 +0000 button 134805@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>5 stars, can't wait for Red's picture. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=46925#post-134804 Thu, 16 Aug 2012 10:57:39 +0000 wallster 134804@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Yup 5* </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=46925#post-134801 Thu, 16 Aug 2012 10:48:45 +0000 medici2471 134801@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Absolute fucking disgrace Stanton. Take 5 ..... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=46925#post-134795 Thu, 16 Aug 2012 10:12:30 +0000 Gary Stanton 134795@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Doctors examining the Duke of Edinburgh have urged him to practice more conventional forms of intercourse if he is to avoid further bladder infections. HRH Prince Philip spent the night in a shitty NHS hospital in Aberdeen as a "precautionary measure" after an infection, which began in the Royal Penis, ran amok . </p> <p>The Duke, a prominent advocate of ‘booty love’, can still get it up at the ripe old age of 91 due to a combination of having led a charmed life and favourable genetics. </p> <p>Dr Reginald Smithies, who is monitoring the duke's condition, said:<br /> ‘When they brought him in he had that kind of sheepish look on his face, like a naughty schoolboy. It’s surely significant that they had been enjoying a weekend at Balmoral.’</p> <p>‘This type of infection is consistent with “you know what”. We see a lot of it, especially amongst aristocrats and French tourists.’ </p> <p>‘He had the same thing last year shortly before the Queen’s Diamond Jubilee concert – and you know what they say about birthdays and anniversaries. If he wishes to engage in this kind of activity, I’ve recommended that he should “rubber up” as this will prevent germs being transmitted to the urinary tract.' </p> <p>Royal watcher Simon Patridge, from Cowes on the Isle of Wight, who saw the duke on Wednesday morning, said: "Prince Philip seemed in very good spirits, which is hardly surprising, and gave the crowd a cheeky thumbs up before entering the ambulance."</p> <p>When the duke is eventually discharged, he is likely to be told to rest, meaning he will miss the opening of the Paralympic Games, which he is said to be ‘not that arsed about’ </p> <p>A reluctant patient at the best of times, Prince Philip has now spent his 10th night in hospital since just before Christmas last year. </p> <p>Then, he was suffering from a blocked coronary artery, which may have been the result of a ‘donkey punch’ - an aggressive sexual manoeuvre administered by Her Majesty, The Queen. </p>