http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/tags.php?tag=sexism The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Fri, 24 May 2013 05:55:44 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=27494#post-75708 Wed, 06 Jul 2011 15:49:53 +0000 Vertically Challenged Giant 75708@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I like the idea, think it might need a bit of re-working though.</p> <p>The Mike Newell and Ron Atkinson bit is good, not sure the most offensive comment bit really works.</p> <p>"Initially reacting like kids in a sweet shop Gray and Keys soon settled into their new role. While analysing England's decisive second goal against Japan Gray commented 'the left back has got the offside trap all wrong there, the rest of the defence stepped up and the silly mare has let the whole side down. Typical woman, probably doesn't even understand the rule, she should have stayed in the kitchen." </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=27494#post-75704 Wed, 06 Jul 2011 15:37:40 +0000 Christopher Frost 75704@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>The BBC made a grovelling apology today, for its decision to hire Richard Keys and Andy Gray to present coverage of the FIFA Women’s World Cup.</p> <p>Having been shown mercy by the corporation after their highly-publicised dismissals from BSkyB, the pair wasted little time in reverting back to their old, sexist habits.</p> <p>The final straw came during England's group match against Japan, which saw the duo let forth a string of crude sexual remarks about several of the players.</p> <p>Arguably the most offensive comment, was Gray's allegation that the Japanese centre forward "has a twat that's so tight, it can halve the girth of a man's knob."</p> <p>Explaining its controversial choice, the BBC said: “We hired them because we correctly surmised that very few people would bother watching women’s football. Additionally, their desperation to return to television, meant that they were willing to accept sweatshop wages.”</p> <p>Mike Newell and Ron Atkinson have been announced as replacements. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=21755#post-58848 Fri, 25 Feb 2011 11:53:17 +0000 beau-jolly 58848@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Campari; For an altogether more expensive hooker. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=21755#post-58844 Fri, 25 Feb 2011 11:40:01 +0000 Oxbridge 58844@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Campari. Because really hot Hollywood actresses would never have a diamond necklace when they could be necking tramp juice that tastes like that stuff you rinse with at the dentists. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=21755#post-58802 Fri, 25 Feb 2011 08:25:20 +0000 Tristan Shout 58802@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I laughed <em>and</em> got an erection. </p> <p>That's a rare piece of prose that'll do both. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=21755#post-58783 Thu, 24 Feb 2011 23:46:42 +0000 rikkor 58783@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>The headline is priceless. The rest of it, unnecessary. Not to mention, there are no 34 year-old sex symbols.</p> <p>(Oh, I can hear it now: PHWOAR! I'd still give Elizabeth Taylor a go if they could unhook her from her drips and catheter and get her out of her wheelchair.) </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=21755#post-58777 Thu, 24 Feb 2011 22:54:47 +0000 Anonymous 58777@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>No comment. But<br /> <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hjg763Fb804" rel="nofollow">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hjg763Fb804</a> </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=21755#post-58775 Thu, 24 Feb 2011 22:23:35 +0000 Peter749400 58775@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p><img src="http://almarose.files.wordpress.com/2009/06/beautiful_woman.jpg"></p> <p>9.5 out of 10 feminist poster-girl Andrea Higgins claimed last night that "sexism has now been entirely eliminated from public life". In her keynote speech to the National Feminist League, her massive boobs swinging pendulously inside her blouse, the curvaceous 34 year old proclaimed the start of a new era “beyond the glass ceiling”. </p> <p>Wearing a tight fitting pastel coloured sweater over a figure hugging pencil skirt which emphasised her fine ass, she spoke of her long battle to stand out for something other than her jaw-dropping good looks and 'chase-me, chase-me' smile. “Sure, I could have been a model or an actress, but I took the hard road up and joined the Feminist League” she annunciated through her voluptuous lips. “I didn't want to be famous for my magnificent thighs or my impeccably symmetrical features – I wanted to be famous for empowering the sisterhood!”</p> <p>The audience, who were conspicuously less attractive than the speaker, applauded their helms-woman enthusiastically, rolling up the sleeves of their oversized knitted cardigans and stamping their flat shoes on the floor while their flabby ankles jiggled up and down. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=2819#post-8365 Mon, 19 Apr 2010 19:33:59 +0000 Gary Stanton 8365@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Evenin' all. Many thanks Mr Chigley, Stunts, Mazza and Sauce and to all the lovely people who voted for me. </p> <p>Time for my bath... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=2819#post-8311 Mon, 19 Apr 2010 15:21:41 +0000 sauce 8311@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>And well done for your careful historical research. He wasn't called Pepys for nothing. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=2819#post-8265 Mon, 19 Apr 2010 12:24:31 +0000 Mary Evans 8265@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Gazza! Good to see you back. This made me laugh my well-covered tatty bojangles off. Lovely stuff. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=2819#post-8252 Mon, 19 Apr 2010 10:21:53 +0000 allmyownstunts 8252@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Be better if it was called Tat Monday up here, given the amount of tattoos that get unleashed when the sun comes out.</p> <p>Nice work Gaz, just the right mix of brains and puerile smut. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=2819#post-8246 Mon, 19 Apr 2010 09:49:00 +0000 MrChigleysAunt 8246@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Brilliant.<br /> I believe the French say of a woman in a low-cut dress something like "tout le monde c'est sur le balcone" </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=2819#post-8241 Mon, 19 Apr 2010 09:18:17 +0000 Gary Stanton 8241@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Climate Scientists seeking to explain the extraordinary lateness of this year’s Tit Monday, the first monday of the year on which women deem it warm enough to shed those extra layers, believe they have fingered the sun as the likely cause. </p> <p>By plotting the number of sun spots on the x axis versus historical kit-off dates on the y axis, John Tyndall, tit-obsessed Professor of Meteorology at Reading University, claims he has found a clear correlation between low sun spot counts and colder winters. </p> <p>Professor Tyndall believes the sun was also responsible for the period known as The Great Breast Drought, a period that ran from 1450 to 1850 during which winters were harsh, tops stayed on and frost fairs were regularly held on the Thames. Such conditions were reported by the noted diarist and dirty bastard Samuel Pepys:</p> <p><em>‘The thirteenth day of May in the year of our Lord 1642. Alas, while the wind doth remain in the east, the arryval of Tit Mondaye is to the goode people of London nought but a dream. Verily, not a single cleavage could I spy on my perambulations twixt Whitehchapel and Stepney Green. Though as I came within earshot of Bow Bells, a girl of some ill repute did take it upon herself to raise her skirts skyward affording me an ample view of her cunny. After stopping to engage my tumescence, I was moved on by the Parish Constable.’ </em></p> <p>Despite this misfortune, Pepys’ day was not entirely ruined as he later found himself at a gentlemens’ club sitting across from an old portrait of Queen Elizabeth I in a low cut dress, which , according to Pepys :</p> <p><em>‘..shewed just enough tit as to reinstate my former proudness. Indeed, such was my desire for the virgin monarch and so lifelike her image, I was able to confirm that a bit did leake out. In my defence, her depyction hath impressed upon me that she was clearly gagging for it..’ </em></p> <p>Tyndall has warned breast fans that as solar activity continues to dip, we could be heading into a prolonged period known as a Maunder Minimum characterised by fewer sun spots, bitterly cold winters and long roll-neck jumpers which leave far too much to the imagination.</p> <p>‘While this may provide some respite from anthropogenic global warming, it’s very bad news for those with a penchant for big melons. Red-blooded fellas should seriously think about moving to the south of France.’ </p> <p>‘At this latitude warmer temperatures coupled with a liberal beach policy mean you don’t have to walk very far without copping an eyeful, whereupon one might be prompted to ask <em>' Si vous vendez ces chiots, Je voudrais celui avec le nez rose! '</em></p> <p>'Or - if you're selling those puppies, I'll have the one with the pink nose' </p>