http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/tags.php?tag=scrappage The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Wed, 19 Jun 2013 17:51:56 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=2208#post-7022 Mon, 12 Apr 2010 00:08:48 +0000 MADJEZ 7022@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>wot no votes ! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=2208#post-6498 Thu, 08 Apr 2010 12:14:38 +0000 MADJEZ 6498@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>David Cameron denied trying to buy the election when he announced a new scrappage scheme for out of date and polluting governments today. Every household will have the opportunity to vote out their existing model in exchange for £2000 and a shiny new Tory cabinet. Dealers in some marginal constituencies are already offering up to £4000 trade-in made up of tax breaks and local investment to get people to update.</p> <p>The new Tory model uses a Cameron-litic converter which vents 90% of PR through the leader who contains precious metals (such as a silver spoon) which filter out negative press. This enables him to emit only sweet smelling middle-class friendly policies. Labour on the other hand belch out hot gas through a variety of ministers and backbenchers. Their leader is based on an outdated 1970s British Leyland model and can’t be updated as old Labour parts are no longer available.</p> <p>It is hoped the scheme this will cut emissions with a 50% reduction in spin and soundbites.<br /> Cameron said <blockquote>Our aim is to get as many of these clapped-out old bangers of the street as possible, mainly Downing Street.</blockquote> </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=1487#post-4287 Fri, 26 Mar 2010 16:37:55 +0000 MADJEZ 4287@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p><strong>Help Ed</strong> can you knit this lot together or can someone do rehash. I don't have the time (or the talent) to make a good job of all this. There are some cracking ideas here but I'm not sure where to take it (as some of you have gone on a tangent to what I was doing). </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=1487#post-4097 Thu, 25 Mar 2010 17:26:19 +0000 Zen 4097@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Excellent !!!<br /> Although it's the first time Cider buyers I feel sorry for. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=1487#post-4095 Thu, 25 Mar 2010 17:14:29 +0000 malgor 4095@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>It'll all be history when we've all gone green and bought Lectric Hondas. Oh, hang on, electricity's quite expensive too... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=1487#post-4076 Thu, 25 Mar 2010 15:32:21 +0000 fun and games 4076@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>A Berkshire girl, who turned up at a Newbury showroom yesterday to pick up her brand new Kia Placenta, was left ashen faced when she was unable to pay the cashier at her local Esso garage, who proceeded to offer her a two year fixed rate to pay for her tank of fuel.</p> <p>Torica Johnson-Sawdon , 17 was given the vehicle by her father, a London stockbroker after getting her fifth certificate at Pony Club. “It was sooo, like, embarrassing”, said Johnson-Sawdon “and in the end Daddy had to come down with his gold Amex”.<br /> Others have not been so fortunate, with a succession of first time buyers becoming stranded at the pumps,like beached sales, as customers have suffered the credit crunch backlash. </p> <p>Shell have defended its decision to charge £299 just to apply for a tank of fuel, with customers tied in for the first year and expected to stay on the variable rate for a further 12 months to help pay their debt off. "In these recessionary times we have to be careful that our business doesn't go up in smoke" said a spokesman.</p> <p>Critics have hit back, however, asking that if drivers struggle to get on the petrol ladder, how can they ever hope to upgrade their Vauxhall Amoeba to a Leyland Leylandii? </p> <p>This is just a development of Madjez' idea also using suggestions from Ludicity. It is still very much a work in progress. Consider the baton passed on... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=1487#post-4075 Thu, 25 Mar 2010 15:23:01 +0000 MADJEZ 4075@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Thanks all. It was a thinly padded out one liner, will have a tweak later one. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=1487#post-4037 Thu, 25 Mar 2010 11:06:48 +0000 StoopyDeGunt 4037@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Like it, good headline </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=1487#post-4032 Thu, 25 Mar 2010 10:43:58 +0000 curry muncher 4032@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>A reference to Lord Mandelson and government loan guarantees should complete the set. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=1487#post-4030 Thu, 25 Mar 2010 10:40:04 +0000 Ludicity 4030@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>High Octane idea. There must be a full sub in this. </p> <p>As a first time pumper I am still having to rent most of my petrol. Many garages are now refusing to consider anyone with less than a four star rating. And then there was the sub-prime pump scandal in which garages would lend petrol to almost anyone. A few stupid quotes from Jeremy Clarkson should help to fill it up. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=1487#post-4027 Thu, 25 Mar 2010 10:31:57 +0000 Ostsee 4027@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Oh yes! Great sub. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=1487#post-4025 Thu, 25 Mar 2010 10:26:54 +0000 edward hack 4025@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Agreed, great headline </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=1487#post-4019 Thu, 25 Mar 2010 10:18:34 +0000 Stan Laurel 4019@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Perfect headline. Take Five! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=1487#post-4017 Thu, 25 Mar 2010 10:12:59 +0000 MADJEZ 4017@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Despite government assurances that the budget would help them out millions still can’t afford their first gallon of petrol. With the threat of unemployment and wage freezes allied to the credit crunch young couples are struggling to get the deposit together to get their cars running.</p> <p>In addition the scrappage scheme successfully rid the roads of all well maintained cars in good condition over 10 years. This left only rusty polluting old bangers for the youngsters as every well-off pensioner in the country had sold their immaculate Honda or Toyota in exchange for a brand new Kia Placenta. </p>