http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/tags.php?tag=scientists The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Mon, 20 May 2013 21:32:15 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=22793#post-61653 Mon, 21 Mar 2011 14:23:56 +0000 Bravenewmalden 61653@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>First the accents, then the permasmiles. Have five stars. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=22793#post-61650 Mon, 21 Mar 2011 14:16:15 +0000 Anonymous 61650@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Eeh ah think tha's got summut thurr lass </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=22793#post-61627 Mon, 21 Mar 2011 12:15:42 +0000 ianslat 61627@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Evil - good to see you back! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=22793#post-61576 Sun, 20 Mar 2011 21:59:24 +0000 evilsuperstar 61576@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Thank you kindly Formerly Al. I have a doctor pal from the University of Manchester who does brain imaging shenanigans for a living but who also has a strong Newcastle accent... well I say he's a doctor who does brain imaging, he could of course be a welder and it's just that I can't understand his accent. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=22793#post-61565 Sun, 20 Mar 2011 19:38:30 +0000 FormerlyAlOPecia 61565@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Simply super. With my cockney accent I do sometimes have to work that little bit harder to convince new people that I am yer actual Prof., - Gord Bwimey Mawy Poppins, increased thermodynamic efficiency is linked to system diversity, if you know wot I mean like. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=22793#post-61563 Sun, 20 Mar 2011 19:20:08 +0000 evilsuperstar 61563@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>The minister of state for universities and science, David Willetts has written to further education establishments in England and Wales requesting that as part of their science courses they introduce mandatory modules on communication skills and elocution. </p> <p>The decision has come after a worrying increase in populist and often northern scientists and flooding the media with presentation styles which have been described as ‘earthy’ and ‘normal’. One government spokesman said this growing trend is “undermining the gravitas and integrity of British science and must stop right now.”</p> <p>The science minister has come short of pointing the finger of blame at anyone in particular but it is widely felt that the action has been taken in direct response to the BBC who have let a number of northern scientists find their way onto prime time television. </p> <p>Dr Brian Cox of the University of Manchester has cause a massive furore for the corporation by trying to explain particle physics on BBC 1 with a strong Oldham accent. One unnamed critic said she felt Dr Cox was “letting science down” and went on to say that “if he really cared about his subject he could have spent some of his time at the Large Hadron Collider developing an authentic European type accent for talking to the media with.”</p> <p>Northern scientists are not the only problem though; the BBC have doggedly refused to ban Professor Colin Pillinger from their networks despite him having a thick and humorous west country accent and electrical engineering graduate Dick Strawbridge is also given peak air time despite being similarly vocally afflicted. Many feel that the accents these two particular men have, make them hard to believe - unless they are talking about taking cattle to market or scrumping for apples.</p> <p>A spokesman for the government said that the battle against scientists with regional accents is a serious campaign that will be heavily enforced. “You wouldn’t expect a tradesman to sound like he had walked out of a Radio 4 studio and likewise we shouldn’t be willing to listen to chaos theory from people with regional voices. If our scientists want to talk like hooligans or farmers they can do it on Channel 5.” </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=4832#post-13608 Sat, 22 May 2010 06:26:35 +0000 rfreed 13608@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Bastards!- you won't even give me a rating.<br /> A pox on all your houses! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=4853#post-13524 Fri, 21 May 2010 11:29:36 +0000 Des Custard 13524@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Have stars. Worth developing further. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=4853#post-13509 Fri, 21 May 2010 10:31:53 +0000 doublehelix 13509@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Bookies favour the hugely experienced God at 9/13 on, with few pundits giving Scientists - widely regard as minnows of the tournament - much hope of meeting Krishna in the semis. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=4832#post-13473 Fri, 21 May 2010 04:40:54 +0000 rfreed 13473@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>New Zealand scientists have proven that it is another mammal other than man that is the smartest creature on earth. Recent evidence has convinced them that the dolphin uses the most brain cells and not his distant relative the homo sapien.</p> <p>The Kiwi brainiacs had found that dolphins have an extra set of bones near their midsection that might have at one time been legs for moving about on land. In other words, the amphibious creatures once left the seas to roam the earth, then returned to the ocean. For some reason, after hanging out for a couple millenniums basking in the sun, they said "Enough of this!", decided they did not like their new environment and up and marched back to the bosom of the sea.</p> <p>This shows their superior intelligence- the dolphins returned to a protected environment full with the abundant necessitates of life. Meanwhile our monkey fore-bearers insisted on staying on dry land and we humans now suffer on the surface of this world dealing with extremes of heat and cold, tornadoes, earthquakes, floods, winds, winter, and any number of other threats to life and health. The dolphins luxuriate in a near perfect environment where the temperature changes little, they are able to move with ease, there is an abundance of food, they are protected from the upper environment of sky and land by the buffer of the sea, and there are few predators threatening them. It is little wonder they often stick their heads out of the water and chuckle- they are laughing at us!</p> <p>Douglas Adams, the great British humorist, depicted in his Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy books that dolphins are one of the two most intelligent beasts on the planet (the white mice I am not so sure about). What is scary in the book is that when they leave the planet knowing it will be destroyed they tell us “So long and thanks for all the fish”. We could very well be standing there twiddling our thumbs and wondering what is going on when it happens.</p> <p>(Proofreaders comment) Another question that should be asked is this- what happens if they grow their legs back and decide to come out of the water for another go at things? If they are so smart they might start taking over things. They would be like aquatic yuppies, thinking they are so smart and all and start bossing us around. Heaven forbid should they get hold of our guns or start messing around with our women. They seem all nice and friendly and smiley, but then so do used car salesmen. I say we should let the tuna fisherman start catching them in their nets again. Enough of this 'Save The Dolphin' stuff. That should keep them off our streets. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=3265#post-9483 Mon, 26 Apr 2010 22:04:27 +0000 fernandomando 9483@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Norfolk. Twinned with Norfolk. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=3265#post-9464 Mon, 26 Apr 2010 19:44:50 +0000 Genghis Cohen 9464@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Thanking you kindly folks. Never been to Reepham and I don't know the first thing about the place, but they probably don't get the internet there so I should be okay. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=3265#post-9421 Mon, 26 Apr 2010 16:23:51 +0000 sauce 9421@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Looks like another FP from this angle. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=3265#post-9415 Mon, 26 Apr 2010 15:58:04 +0000 Oxbridge 9415@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>How dare you sir? Reepham is nothing like this. Now Shotesham on the other hand... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=3265#post-9403 Mon, 26 Apr 2010 15:05:08 +0000 Zen 9403@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Bootiful..... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=3265#post-9352 Mon, 26 Apr 2010 09:55:35 +0000 MightyBlair 9352@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>'triffic. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=3265#post-9350 Mon, 26 Apr 2010 09:50:38 +0000 Genghis Cohen 9350@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Conservationists have stepped in to help prevent the small Norfolk village of Reepham from dying out as its inhabitants are lured away by the bright lights of major metropolitan centres such as Fakenham, Norwich and King’s Lynn. The move is a last-ditch attempt to return Reepham to former its glory days when it boasted a population of several hundred and up to five distinct family names.</p> <p>‘The programme will draw on the region’s age-old customs,’ said Steve Jones today, professor of genetics at University College London. ’Adolescent brothers, sisters and cousins will be brought together in a specially designed enclosure called a family home, safe from the distractions of modern life such as skipping ropes and the wireless. We are confident that in these excellent inbreeding conditions, it will only be a matter of time before nature takes its course and a new generation of Reepham-ites come paddling forth.’</p> <p>Sociologists have warned that if the people of Reepham were allowed to die out, generations of proud heritage would be lost, including the practice of calling newborn babies Lesley until their gender can be determined and families using their members’ IQ scores as their lottery numbers. The future also appears uncertain for the thousands of special needs teachers and biologists employed in the region to teach children about the birds and the birds, while some are concerned that the extinction of Reepham would halt advances in our understanding of how things were a rung or two down the evolutionary ladder.</p> <p>But conservationists are confident that the scheme will be a success. ‘It’s exciting to be involved in a project to preserve such a really close-knit community,’ said Professor Jones. ‘All the residents have their fingers crossed, many since birth, and every face seems to carry that same look of dreamy hopefulness. Plus it’s great for us as scientists. For many of our team, this will be their first exposure to reproductive theory since GCSE biology.’ </p>