http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/tags.php?tag=savile The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Thu, 23 May 2013 12:08:51 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=54538#post-157436 Sat, 12 Jan 2013 09:45:19 +0000 Squudge 157436@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>The time to use this would have been today as almost every major newspaper has his mug gratuitously on their FP. Would be a nice counterpoint prehaps with an equally gratuitous gurning pic (or everything pixelated except the cigar).</p> <p>If no-one minds I'm bunging this weak effort over to Spoof (I normally give it a couple of days grace but this one is more perishable)</p> <p><a href="http://www.thespoof.co.uk/news/uk/112012/get-him-off-my-television-says-everyone">satire that should be truebiscuit?</a> </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=54538#post-157402 Fri, 11 Jan 2013 23:06:01 +0000 dvo4fun 157402@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>yep - or at least change the clip - it's not as if they can be short of footage.</p> <p>"Surely no-one needs to recognise him unless there is a danger he might somehow clamber out of his coffin and have another go"." was worth the stars on its own </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=54538#post-157387 Fri, 11 Jan 2013 21:31:41 +0000 Squudge 157387@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>oops! typing in the dark, didn't notice the stupid stray '</p> <p>thanks VCG</p> <p>Wayland - it looks like Geraldine forgot Brigstocke in the excellent TV listings too. Very remiss. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=54538#post-157386 Fri, 11 Jan 2013 21:29:50 +0000 Vertically Challenged Giant 157386@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Wrong use of it's in last para, a surefire comment generator. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=54538#post-157385 Fri, 11 Jan 2013 21:12:29 +0000 waylandsmithy 157385@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Savile? I assumed it was going to be about Marcus Brigstocke </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=54538#post-157384 Fri, 11 Jan 2013 21:00:42 +0000 custard cream 157384@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Too right - and funny! Fully agree with the sentiment and the satire! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=54538#post-157382 Fri, 11 Jan 2013 19:55:47 +0000 Squudge 157382@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>A class action is being filed on behalf of the British Public against BBC, ITV and C4 jointly to redress trauma and distress of seeing 'that bastard' every time the news is broadcast. Or any BBC retrospective.</p> <p>Keith Foss, spokesman for SOS (Sod off Savile) stated "Frankly, I was sufficiently damaged the first time around seeing that leering face looming out of the telly all the time when I was a little kid. Now we are allowing a whole new generation of children to be needlessly affected in this way. We don't need to dig him up again. And again." </p> <p>The protest group acknowledges that the enquiry must run its course and that those directly affected by the abuse gain some closure through recognition of the crimes. "But do we really need the creepiest fish-eye-lens shots of his satanic face gurning in slo-mo and his vile body 'doing energetic things' in a skimpy vest? Every bloody hour? We KNOW who he was. Surely no-one needs to recognise him unless there is a danger he might somehow clamber out of his coffin and have another go".</p> <p>Tamsin Stirrup, Head Media Whore at BBC News24 explained that they had to maintain 'brand awareness', due to some clause in Savile's old contract that was drawn up between the BBC Director General and Savile's agent (and signed 'Beelzebub', but it is unclear by whom).</p> <p>SOS have demanded an immediate cessation to any public broadcast or media image of 'that face'.</p> <p>"At the very least the whole of Britain wants its license fee refunded this year, and a wedge to pay for the therapy to wipe the memories away. Oh and some for the victims too." </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=53031#post-152767 Mon, 10 Dec 2012 04:52:33 +0000 Squudge 152767@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>a bit long, but a lovely idea</p> <p>quite like the breaking and entering line, and (despite length) want to see more on traumatised kids in sordid shopping centre 'grottos' </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=53031#post-152733 Sun, 09 Dec 2012 23:23:36 +0000 iBarryJ 152733@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Father Christmas aka Santa Claus (age unknown) is to completely bypass the UK this year. A press statement has just been issued from his North Pole HQ giving a warning for parents to make "alternative arrangements". After a tip off from 'credible inside sources' Santa has taken legal advice and is to avoid any deliveries in the UK for fears of arrest under operation Yew-tree - the police team set up to investigate the Jimmy Savile revelations.<br /> A spokes-elf said, "Santa Claus is very concerned about the recent activities of the Yew-tree team in the UK, in the wake of the Jimmy Savile revelations. He has decided not to enter UK territory this year whilst the position is clarified. He is very sorry to make this decision and requests parents take appropriate action to fulfil his Christmas activities."</p> <p>Santa is associated with Savile from way back in the seventies when he helped 'Fix-It' for several children on the BBC TV programme: Jim'll Fix It. Operation Yewtree has seen the arrest of a number of prominent UK celebrities for allegations dating back decades. Santa is apparently also very worried that having spent a lifetime creeping around children's bedrooms, it is only a matter of time before someone makes an unfounded allegation. Probably a disgruntled child who never received a Raleigh Chopper or a Cabbage Patch Doll trying to seek revenge on the white bearded one. A police spokesperson said, "the Savile investigations have allowed us to create a list of 'others' we would like to interview, I cannot reveal if Santa is or isn't on the list at this time."</p> <p>It's not the first time Santa has had challenges in the UK, with previous problems due to breaking and entering and driving after consuming copious amounts of sherry and brandy.</p> <p>Santa's UK PR guru was unavailable for comment today, but a Zurich Gnome and close business advisor did reveal that this latest UK problem is the latest factor "driving Santa to seriously consider outsourcing the whole global operation to Amazon". </p> <p>According to the Gnome, Santa is reviewing the business model in the light of spiralling costs. "It would make good sense to streamline the whole supply chain." This could see the loss of several hundreds of jobs at Father Christmas's North Pole global logistics hub. The December delivery operation has been in place for centuries under several international brand names including, St Nicholas, Sinterklaas and Pere Noel. In the 1930's the US drinks giant Coca Cola facilitated a major re-branding exercise and image update that remains to this day.</p> <p>The Father Christmas operation has been called into question recently when a survey of UK primary school children revealed that the Santa business may have run its course. Children are fed up with being good in the run up to Christmas and claim this infringes their human rights. Also the overly complex and slow ordering process needs an overhaul. Ideally they would like to see a toy on TV and order it direct from their Smart Phone for next day delivery. "December 25th is an artificially orchestrated logistics nightmare" said 3 year old Adam Sugar.</p> <p>Another issue facing Santa is the increasing difficulty obtaining air worthiness certification for his flying sleigh. Rudolph the Red Nosed reindeer has indicated that obtaining spare parts for the ageing device is proving ever more difficult and costly. Like Concorde a decision may have to be made to retire the craft on economic grounds. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=50910#post-146685 Wed, 31 Oct 2012 16:51:48 +0000 Squudge 146685@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>both times or just the first one? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=50910#post-146679 Wed, 31 Oct 2012 16:23:16 +0000 weematt 146679@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I got the little red x too. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=50910#post-146670 Wed, 31 Oct 2012 15:56:25 +0000 Squudge 146670@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>reloading... someone who isn't a member who was trolling my efforts says he can't see the image </p> <p><img src="http://media-cache0.pinterest.com/upload/87116574013464532_6eyQzb80.jpg"><br /> NEAT-O</p> <p>...interesting... says he can see this one, but the first one is a 'little red x' </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=50910#post-146584 Wed, 31 Oct 2012 08:48:43 +0000 Sinnick 146584@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Great pic </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=50910#post-146567 Wed, 31 Oct 2012 07:22:23 +0000 Squudge 146567@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>in the unlikely event this gets used ☺<br /> ..add credit 'with nod/apologies to Curtsibling' </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=50910#post-146544 Tue, 30 Oct 2012 23:35:55 +0000 Squudge 146544@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p><img src="http://assets4.pinimg.com/upload/87116574013464532_6eyQzb80.jpg"> </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=50188#post-146216 Mon, 29 Oct 2012 11:34:27 +0000 Oxbridge 146216@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Bwahahahahahahaha. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=50607#post-146213 Mon, 29 Oct 2012 11:28:12 +0000 Oxbridge 146213@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>HFC, now I'm even being beaten to the punchline by David frigging Icke. </p> <p>[flounce] </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=50607#post-146212 Mon, 29 Oct 2012 11:21:54 +0000 pinxit 146212@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>@Oxbridge - I'm afraid <a href="http://www.davidicke.com/headlines/73605-was-there-a-paedophile-sex-ring-inside-the-bbc-jimmy-saviles-radio-one-colleague-procured-girls-for-him">David Icke got there first</a>...</p> <p>pot... kettle... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=50607#post-146088 Sun, 28 Oct 2012 11:53:21 +0000 Anonymous 146088@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>stars galore for Pinxit... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=50607#post-146084 Sun, 28 Oct 2012 11:27:05 +0000 pinxit 146084@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>It's given me the willies.</p> <p>5 Ghoulies.</p> <p><img src="http://i830.photobucket.com/albums/zz223/pinxit2/Satire/acorah.jpg"> </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=50607#post-146065 Sun, 28 Oct 2012 07:08:51 +0000 Sinnick 146065@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>5 ghostly stars </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=50607#post-146052 Sat, 27 Oct 2012 19:45:56 +0000 Oxbridge 146052@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Surely this would be a case for the Scooby Doo team? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=50607#post-145958 Fri, 26 Oct 2012 22:19:32 +0000 Anonymous 145958@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>excellently witty </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=50607#post-145956 Fri, 26 Oct 2012 22:11:27 +0000 dvo4fun 145956@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>"...the feeling of being touched in an inappropriate place, usually a dressing room." A fine line. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=50607#post-145927 Fri, 26 Oct 2012 15:09:42 +0000 Midfield Diamond 145927@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Very well-written. If I have a slight criticism, the headline is slightly misleading as the story is more about the BBC being haunted by a mysterious presence than ghostbusters or exorcism. But have 5 anyway. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=50607#post-145923 Fri, 26 Oct 2012 15:01:19 +0000 beau-jolly 145923@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Excellently wonderful. Must surely be the Haloween FP? <blockquote>the definitely legit medium</blockquote> made me guffaw.</p> <p>A mate of my ex wife keeps telling everyone she's a medium. I'm no judge but I recon she's at least an extra large. Arf! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=50607#post-145920 Fri, 26 Oct 2012 14:38:35 +0000 Gary Stanton 145920@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Ta, I ditched an ectoplasm joke as I thought it would be too smutty ( the trainee DJ was originally a cleaner and cleaning up after someone else's ectoplasm wasn't in her contract ). That's filth obviously. </p> <p>Can't reply until Monday now as have had no internet at home for the last 2 weeks thanks to the lovely folk at Talk Talk. I am now going home. Have a good weekend. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=50607#post-145886 Fri, 26 Oct 2012 09:48:28 +0000 Qoxiivi 145886@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>No ectoplasm?</p> <p>'I’ve mentioned it to the other DJs but they said it’s just ‘banter’ and asked if I was a lesbian.'</p> <p>Love that. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=50607#post-145878 Fri, 26 Oct 2012 09:31:39 +0000 Yikes 145878@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Enjoyed this one! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=50607#post-145877 Fri, 26 Oct 2012 09:25:42 +0000 Gary Stanton 145877@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>The BBC has called in a team of psychic investigators after youngsters attending a live-screening of Rastamouse claimed the lecherous cigar-smoking ghost of an elderly man had really put the willies up them. </p> <p>The weeks prior to Halloween* have seen an upsurge in paranormal activity with BBC employees reporting a variety of phenomena such as rattling jewellery, an eerie yodelling noise and the feeling of being touched in an inappropriate place, usually a dressing room. The final straw came when a trainee DJ had to flee the building after witnessing a track-suited figure having a spectral wank . </p> <p>‘I’ve always remained sceptical about this sort of thing until now,’ said MC Letitia Downing, 15, ‘but when your essential mix is interrupted by a ghost trying to thumb one out it forces you to reconsider. I’ve mentioned it to the other DJs but they said it’s just ‘banter’ and asked if I was a lesbian. This apparition is completely untouchable!’ </p> <p>Director-General, George Entwhistle, also refused to rule out supernatural goings-on. ‘Members of staff claim they’ve been felt up by a pair of unseen hands and one young presenter had her breasts jiggled while reading the shipping forecast . Dave Lee Travis wasn’t even in the building at the time.’</p> <p>Under pressure from OFCOM , Entwhistle called on kosher TV psychic Derek Acorah and his trusty spirit guide “Sam” in a bid to cleanse the premises of the incorrigble spook. ‘All we know is that there’s some kind of presence here,’ Entwhistle added, ‘and it’s much stronger than Matt Baker’s. ’</p> <p>Acorah, meanwhile, wasted no time in making contact with the ghoul. After slipping into a trance, the definitely legit medium cried, ‘This spirit person worked as a DJ. He’s trying to show me a record – the longest serving paedophile on the BBC payroll. Now then, now then.. cigar.. jewellery..cigar .. jewellery.. uh-ah-uh-ah-uh-ah-uh-ah. What’s that Sam? He’s giving me the name James or possibly Jim...’</p> <p>‘Is it Jimmy Young? ’</p> <p>*blatant Halloween sub </p>