http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/tags.php?tag=satirists The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Thu, 23 May 2013 23:45:11 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=11448#post-31267 Wed, 01 Sep 2010 12:31:22 +0000 Scroat 31267@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Nice one JP. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=11448#post-31265 Wed, 01 Sep 2010 12:27:31 +0000 IABP 31265@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>If they need help then they should send for Shaft </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=11448#post-31258 Wed, 01 Sep 2010 12:00:41 +0000 Brenda SugarTits69 31258@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I long for the comforting drone of the vuvuzela. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=11448#post-31256 Wed, 01 Sep 2010 11:50:03 +0000 Golgo13 31256@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Excellent. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=11448#post-31248 Wed, 01 Sep 2010 11:24:53 +0000 jp1885 31248@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Rescuers are battling to free a team of 33 professional comedy writers, who became trapped when a seam of potential satire that they were exploring collapsed after being practically mined hollow.</p> <p>According to colleagues, the team began digging for material following the news that a group of Chilean miners were trapped underground. 'The theme of several men, stuck for months down a mineshaft... well, it's no surprise that these writers chose to exploit it,' explained one leading internet satirist. 'With all due deference to those miners and their families, that's comedy gold that is.'</p> <p>Experts have accused the satirists of probing the meme without first taking the necessary precautions. 'The situation had already been extensively mined by amateur joke writers and freelance bloggers, so the whole thing was shaky from the start. Scraping any useable punchlines from the bottom of the meme would have taken the kind of skill that many writers lack. At the very least they should have secured the services of a physical comedian and used props to keep the ceiling from falling in.'</p> <p>The satirists are currently said to be in good spirits and are maintaining morale by coming up with ideas for a new topical review show, provisionally called 'Down the Tube - a sideways look at being trapped down a mineshaft'. They are also being regularly supplied with copies of Private Eye and tapes of Mock the Week. In response the trapped writers have sent up a recording of them singing their national anthem - the theme tune to That Was the Week That Was.</p> <p>Leading the rescue effort is Hilary Shearbourne, producer of Have I Got News for You? Her crack team of stand-up comedians has started to drill a relief shaft through a nearby stratum of Pakistani cricketing news, but has found that the going is tough. 'It looks like we might have hit a hollow pocket of binned cat jokes, which might compromise the entire operation unless we can divert the drill into Tony Blair's memoirs sometime soon.'</p> <p>Rescuers are said to be considering a back-up plan, where proof readers from the BBC Writers' Room will send rejected material from a BBC Radio 7 topical sketch show down a supply chute. 'If this doesn't force them to claw their way screaming back to the surface, nothing will.' </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=785#post-2066 Thu, 11 Mar 2010 17:08:53 +0000 rfreed 2066@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Much to the dismay of true humour lovers the world over anti-Obama satirists have become robotic, running the same treadmill every day in an effort to bring him down. Their constant decrying of the new President no matter what he does always boils down to the same tired formula-'Obama bad, Obama stupid, troglodytes good.' They have gone on autopilot with their complaints. The brain has been disengaged and the reptilian nerve ganglia has taken over and spits out constant spiteful bile at any new Obama policy that comes out. Zombie-like, they seize upon any live meat they see and chew it to death. The repetitive emptying of their retentive memory is equal to the emptying of ones bladder constantly.<br /> As with all things that become automated their drivel in pseudo-humourous form eventually becomes more and more abstract, resulting in strange concepts:<br /> 'Obama To Allow Illegal Foreigners From Other Planets To Get On Welfare.'<br /> ' America Hating Liberals To Incorporate Palestine As 51st State.'<br /> 'Obama To Hand Los Angeles Freeway Over To Terrorists For Use In Experimental Roadside Bombing.'<br /> 'Democrats To Ship All Medicare Recipients To Moon To Freeze To Death.'<br /> 'Alaska Socialists To Allow Free Housing In Igloos.'<br /> 'Obama Health Plan To Include Grinding Medicare Recipients Into Tar For Road Construction,'<br /> 'Anti-Capitalism Anarchists Invent Car That Runs On Sewage Just To Spite Normal Americans.'<br /> 'Left Wingers Sell New Jersey And Connecticut Back To Redcoat British Empire.'<br /> 'Pinko 'Plastic Surgery' Clinic in Godless San Fransisco Actually Liposuctions Out Fetuses.'.<br /> More on this will surely surface tomorrow; in fact it will probably continue unabated until 2012. </p>