http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/tags.php?tag=ryanair The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Tue, 18 Jun 2013 06:06:52 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=62132#post-180955 Wed, 05 Jun 2013 13:59:45 +0000 John Wiltshire 180955@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>It's obvious! They will get them from other airlines, such as - oh yes, I see what you mean... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=62132#post-180902 Wed, 05 Jun 2013 04:07:45 +0000 Arthur 180902@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Have you thought this through?</p> <p>I mean, where will Ryanair get these smiling, courteous staff? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=62132#post-180893 Wed, 05 Jun 2013 00:05:36 +0000 brianflan 180893@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>The age-old saying ‘manners cost nothing,’ now seem to be a thing of the past as Ryanair has introduced a surcharge for courtesy.</p> <p>Mark Pye, Public Relations Executive said. “In today’s fast paced world we don’t really see the need for niceties, it’s just a case of flinging on the passengers without a care in the world - like we do with their baggage. However, for those who still see air travel as something of a luxury we are now offering a premium product where certain levels of politeness will be charged on a ‘per service’ rate. A smile, for instance, will cost an extra £3. A 'please' or a 'thankyou' will cost £2 each and we have included a pre-pay option, where for £25 you can have a variety of niceties, although the phrase ‘have a nice flight’ has now been taken off the schedule as we have been approached by Trading Standards.’ </p> <p>Mr Pye added that while uptake on the service has been slow, he is confident that customers will eventually embrace this novel approach. ‘For those who still just want to get on a flight and complain about anything and everything - usually those who live within 10 miles and don't even pay for parking - you will still get a surly check-in girl who regrets getting pregnant at 15 and cabin crew who would all rather be on the BA flight to Barbados.” </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=41211#post-117513 Fri, 06 Apr 2012 10:15:16 +0000 weematt 117513@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>After a successful test flight over Germany Ryanair are to go ahead with their combined flight and fairground ride concept. The test flight has entered the Guinness Book of Records for the ride with the most people falling the farthest. One hundred and thirty four passengers whooped with delight as they plunged twenty one thousand feet when the aircraft made the big dip.<br /> Passengers said that the screams were so loud some passengers had to have treatment for their ears at a local hospital on landing. Others found it a bit scary but say they would do it again just for the adrenalin buzz.<br /> One technical issue to overcome is that when the passengers all raised their arms when the dip began many of them accidentally switched on reading lights or called a cabin crew member.<br /> “We are always looking for ways to give our customers the best value and this is a way of combining the journey with part of your holiday.” said Ryanair “You arrive at your destination with the fairground visit box ticked. The in-flight entertainment will be updated to include prize bingo and 'roll the Euro' and will include a pyrotechnic display from one or more engines.”<br /> “Finally to complete the fun every flight will end with a ride down a big inflatable chute.” </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=40059#post-114070 Sun, 18 Mar 2012 22:25:48 +0000 The All New Jeni B 114070@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Nice.<br /> Except I'm flying with Ryanair in a few hours.<br /> Help!! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=40059#post-114063 Sun, 18 Mar 2012 21:34:07 +0000 nickb 114063@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>There is an undertapped source here. The Airplane autopilot sequence. What do autopilots do on their long haul nights in Bangkok Hiltons and Rio Radissons? No chocolates on pillows for them. A chance encounter with an autodidact?<br /> Work needed. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=40059#post-114047 Sun, 18 Mar 2012 18:59:38 +0000 arthurminnit 114047@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>i was once viciously attacked by a piece of green tarmac.</p> <p>it was a cyclepath! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=40059#post-113964 Sat, 17 Mar 2012 11:58:13 +0000 Drylaw 113964@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Not dat Oi'm a megalomaniac psoicopath or anytin'.......... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=40059#post-113961 Sat, 17 Mar 2012 10:30:57 +0000 weematt 113961@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>CEO Michael O'Leary announced today that in future Ryanair would cease to operate aircraft with fancy complicated autopilots and the like.<br /> "We like to keep tings simple and cheap at Ryanair." he said. "For now we will just switch the automatic stuff off. To be sure, its just a pilot scheme." </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=28819#post-80797 Fri, 05 Aug 2011 15:39:07 +0000 tezza 80797@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>The Irish budget airline Ryanair has attracted significant criticism after it emerged that cabin staff gave a sandwich and a drink to a passenger suffering a cardiac arrest, only to later charge him for the goods.<br /> When asked to comment on this incident, Chief Executive Office of Ryanair Micahel O'Leary seemed bewildered by the public reaction.<br /> <blockquote>"I don't believe this. We've been doing this kind of thing for years and nobody has ever complained before. What they don't understand is that this is no f****** charity! It's a privilege to fly on my airline and they are certainly not getting anything free from me. Can you imagine if we didn't charge for those items? We would have everyone on my planes faking heart attacks just to stuff their fat, greedy faces!"</blockquote><br /> The story has sparked outrage among the public and even encouraged past passengers to speak out about their similar experiences when flying with the airline. One of these incidents include a female passenger being forced to pay an extra £7.50 for using the reading light over the allotted time given to each passenger. After protesting to the staff, they informed the passenger that it was all part of their terms &amp; conditions and that they would be forced to fly her back if she was not willing to pay.<br /> This sort of publicity however fails to shake the fiery airline owner who is set to announce more measures to ensure that passengers are not taking his services for granted. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=25057#post-68004 Fri, 13 May 2011 12:58:21 +0000 acwanaut 68004@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Ryanair's Micheal O'Leary has joined the cabinet of the new taoiseach Enda Kenny in the Irish Republic today following the swift departure of Michael Noonan for mis-handling renewed talks with the IMF. O'Leary, with no direct Government experience but a long history of self-promotion, is seen as the ideal candidate to facilitate the cost-cutting needed to stem Ireland's debt.</p> <p>Although not officially beginning the role until Monday, O'Leary has already outlined his new agenda by taking out a cheeky ad in the Irish Times. In the ad O'Leary indicates how much cheaper it will be to live in Ireland with a base rate of tax at only 7%. He also claimed that Ireland will be a cheaper place to live than any other country in Europe. </p> <p>However, opposition members from Fianna Fail are already criticising O'Leary's agenda, "We all know that he is the king of cut price, but Ireland's citizens should expect to have to pay for a lot of things they didn't even realise they received." Further details in a leaked document show that on top of the base rate of 7%, Ireland's tax payers will now be subjected to additional charges for voter registration, shamrocks on their guinness head and fees for the top of the stairs - so called 'landing charges'. </p> <p>O'Leary is also planning to revolutionise the country's tax collecting body, giving them the ability to charge for bellies deemed too big for standard bus seats and also to sell scratch cards and perfumes while performing tax assessments. It is expected that Ireland will return to profitability in 2013 and that mass migration to America, flying with United, will begin again in late 2012. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=14720#post-40007 Fri, 29 Oct 2010 08:27:04 +0000 acwanaut 40007@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Also considered:<br /> In line with their policy of promoting self-service air travel, Ryanair will introduce the 'self security check'. Members of the travelling public will be encouraged to pat themselves down, look inside their own shoes and use a mirror to check if they are looking shifty. Passengers will be able to check a box on the website to prove that they have performed security checks before boarding. Any passenger still wanting traditional security checks will have to pay a supplement of 20 euros per leg. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=14720#post-39904 Thu, 28 Oct 2010 11:27:24 +0000 acwanaut 39904@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>The latests in a long line of transparency measures in air travel pricing by Ryanair has been unveiled today as the airline begins optional additional security checks for passengers. Ryanair Chief, Michael O'Leary revealed at today's press conference, "Where rivals like BA want to cut daft security checks at airports we think that it is the passenger's right to receive these services. Consequently we also think that they should pay to receive them, only what it cost us of course, so each passenger will now pay ten euros per leg, or 15 euros for the whole body, to ensure that they aren't carrying anything illegal. We have also worked with Group 4 to come up with some innovative new services in this area. Now you can pay to have a specific member of your party experience the thrill of a full body cavity search from one of our long-armed security staff."</p> <p>Outspoken representative of the Society of Airline Passengers, Ivor Siddle, retorted, "This is typical of Ryanair, they started with pay to pee, pay to check in and now pay for a pat down. Our members have long enjoyed the thrill of a rough security check after leaving a coin in their pocket."</p> <p>Ryanair expect to increase revenues this year as their new standing seats come into operation, due to be retro-fitted with pedalo-style engine contributors in 2013. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=5611#post-15276 Thu, 03 Jun 2010 18:05:38 +0000 Dumbnews 15276@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Superb! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=5611#post-15268 Thu, 03 Jun 2010 17:51:59 +0000 thackaray 15268@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>BA passengers stuck in far flung exotic destinations such as Thailand, Australia and Iraq, are being offered the chance to come back on BA flight 1 week later than planned or book with the local agent of Human Trafficking gangs.</p> <p>Tracy from Essex, on holiday in Dubai with her 3 kids, said 'Well, I wasn't sure which option to take: on one hand, you had agents who looked dodgy, didn't give toss and wore BA uniforms, or the well dressed man, wearing big 80's shades, greasy slicked back hair and going by the name of "Ahmed". I chose "Ahmed" in the end, because I'm part-time at Tesco's and I was promised a well paid job as a nanny in the UK as part of the deal."</p> <p>Other repatriated BA passengers told similar stories. Margaret, 83, speaking from the "Oriental Flower" massage parlour in Wolverhampton, said "I've had a wonderful journey coming back, visiting countries I never expected to visit, meeting new and wonderful friends along the way. Even though some of the long journey was by coach, hanging on for dear life underneath it, the gang members were so helpful. They even told me I didn't need to repay the cost of the journey, I told them I wouldn't take no for an answer. And at my age in life, I'm having a wonderful time working here."</p> <p>Although, stranded BA passengers are profusely praising the trafficking gangs, others are outraged at the preferential treatment. Iqbal, from Pakistan said "I've been waiting to get into Britain for 14 months, and they're barging in front of the queue. Who do they think they are? British?!"</p> <p>The surprising nature and success of the trafficking gangs in getting people home, travel insurance companies are offering travellers a new type of insurance so that they don't become indentured to the gangs so by having to work in Kebab shops in Leicester.</p> <p>One passenger, David Marshall, summed it all up by saying "For the ticket price of £10,000, I got warm meals, all my luggage arrived with me at the same destination. Even the free accomodation and the movie choices was first rate. BA has many lessons to learn."</p> <p>They are reports that Ryanair and Easyjet are getting in on the Human trafficking act by under cutting the large criminal players by forcing people to book online and charging extra, for food, luggage and for paying large amounts in cash. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=4560#post-12806 Sun, 16 May 2010 08:58:36 +0000 virtuallywill 12806@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>more later... when the <strike>dust</strike> ash has settled </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=2780#post-8243 Mon, 19 Apr 2010 09:31:02 +0000 StoopyDeGunt 8243@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>lOVE IT.</p> <p>Although I myself might be a target customer for Obesey Jet </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=2780#post-8240 Mon, 19 Apr 2010 08:59:35 +0000 MADJEZ 8240@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Go straight to the front page, do not pass Go, do not collect £200 ! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=2780#post-8235 Mon, 19 Apr 2010 08:22:52 +0000 Mary Evans 8235@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>S'alright. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=2780#post-8221 Mon, 19 Apr 2010 07:20:33 +0000 Ostsee 8221@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>A classic, well done. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=2780#post-8194 Sun, 18 Apr 2010 20:15:05 +0000 Genghis Cohen 8194@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Muchly ta, people. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=2780#post-8169 Sun, 18 Apr 2010 15:01:09 +0000 PluckyMunky 8169@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I loved the 'today's bigger-boned' passengers'! A great piece. Thanks. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=2780#post-8168 Sun, 18 Apr 2010 14:57:19 +0000 The All New Jeni B 8168@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Fab post.<br /> I remember when Mr B used to complain that as a tall, skinny bloke he was always seated next to the fat people as he used less seat width.<br /> Nowadays, with his hard-earned beer belly, he's in need of a chunky seat! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=2780#post-8165 Sun, 18 Apr 2010 14:03:24 +0000 MightyBlair 8165@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Love the James cordon bit. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=2780#post-8153 Sun, 18 Apr 2010 11:59:10 +0000 sauce 8153@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Hahahahaha - grossly funny. Love the "wide-haul" concept and the charging extra for each chin. Mr Sauce says that, these days, chucking me under the chin reminds him of riffling through file folders in a filing cabinet. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=2780#post-8142 Sun, 18 Apr 2010 09:50:11 +0000 Genghis Cohen 8142@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Budget airline easyJet has caused controversy by launching a dedicated service for today’s bigger-boned passenger, promising roomy seats, numerous cup holders and a menu boasting the best in foil-sealed freshness.</p> <p>‘All we’re doing is recognising the growing demand for wide-haul flights,’ said Sir Stelios Haji-Ioannou, founder of easyJet. ‘Our customers don’t want to be patronised by standard airlines charging them for two seats. We treat all our travellers like grown outs – sorry, grown ups. We give them one big seat at twice the price plus charges. Oh, and insulin. All the insulin they can eat.’</p> <p>The launch of obeseyJet follows Air France’s recent announcement that it would be charging overweight customers for two seats following an incident in which one overloaded cross-channel flight failed to get airborne and had to be re-branded Sea France. The airline denied that the presence on the ‘flight’ of actor James Cordon was the cause of its difficulties, but admitted that he did inspire the two-seat policy after it proved impossible to sell the seat next to him.</p> <p>Despite the fanfare accompanying the launch, obeseyJet’s first passengers have reported disappointment with the standard of customer service. ‘Okay, I had a fair bit of luggage,’ said recent flyer, John Prescott, ‘but I couldn’t believe it when they asked me at check-in if I’d forgotten the hotel was full-board.’ The airline has since apologised to Mr Prescott and acknowledged that some customers may need an additional baggage allowance to transport their sun lotion, but it stands by its policy of only allowing a passenger to board the plane from one side when an equally-sized passenger is ready to board from the other.</p> <p>The arrival of obeseyJet has inevitably sparked competition among other budget carriers, but many industry commentators believe Ryanair has taken the idea too far. CEO Michael O’Leary today unveiled a new ‘pound-for-pound’ charging tariff, confirming it would be extra for each chin, but has been widely criticised after removing lifejackets from its planes in a cost-cutting bid and insisting they were unnecessary for the naturally buoyant. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=239#post-704 Fri, 26 Feb 2010 20:57:53 +0000 Mrblacker 704@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>The budget Irish airline Ryanair say it will charge a passenger who won a lottery on a flight and then ate the ticket, a £10 surcharge for 'eating a meal during a flight'.</p> <p>The firm confirmed that the passenger had booked a flight with no food and as far as they are concerned, he consumes nourishment when he wate the ticket in a fit of rage.</p> <p>"Look, he only asked to be flown from A to B. He didn't ask for food and therefore broke the agreed rules of his carriage when he ate the ticket." The firm's Dan Hagen said.</p> <p>"I mean, there's a degree of nutrition in card and ink. It at least provides roughage in the diet, so he's actually got healthier as well. And it's only fair that he pays up for the benefits he otherwise wouldn't have received." </p>