http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/tags.php?tag=royal-baby The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Tue, 21 May 2013 17:02:30 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=58192#post-168744 Tue, 19 Mar 2013 00:32:26 +0000 Seanj87 168744@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Kate Middleton's baby will have various superhuman abilities, it was today announced by her team of doctors.</p> <p>The news came as a shock to Prince William and the Duchess of Cambridge, when they were told that their child would 'be better' than other humans. Doctors have run various tests and have confirmed that the baby will be able to levitate off the ground, and shoot laser beams from its eyes, similar to the character of 'Cyclops' in the comic book 'X-Men'. </p> <p>The royal couple issued a statement saying they 'are just glad their baby is healthy'but joked that they may have to move the expensive furniture out of the house after it is born. Kate went on to say that she would have preferred their firstborn to have the power to control the weather; 'wouldn't that be amazing? But the ability to shoot laser beams from its eyes is still great, and the flying thing, William and I are very excited by that'. After the announcement Prince William tweeted 'just found out baby has superpowers, could take over the world? No only joking, or am I?'</p> <p>The superhuman gene is thought to have been passed down from William's grandmother, the Queen. Queen Elizabeth recently revealed that she has the ability to shape shift into a corgi. She said that she enjoys morphing into a dog and going for a walk around London, 'whenever one feels like getting away from everyone, and out of the limelight.' </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=53061#post-152808 Mon, 10 Dec 2012 22:06:31 +0000 Alfred Noakes 152808@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>While thousands of well wishers have sent cards and greetings to the Duchess of Cambridge, for the coming birth of her baby, an interesting insight into the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge’s daily lives was given today. </p> <p>Prince William, believed to be the father of Kate’s future child, granted an interview, disclosing details about the domestic life of the royal parents-to-be. </p> <p>He said that originally, the couple were going to wait a little longer, in order to save a bit of money up, before starting a family, but ‘Kate said, ‘Fuck it, your grandmother’s one of the richest women in the world, we’ll be all right’. </p> <p>Prince Charles and Camilla have offered to babysit for William and Kate, and, in order that they can go out and get absolutely shit-faced drunk, once in a while, will look after the little mite the next morning as well. </p> <p>Prince Harry has offered to buy a new pram, with all the attachments and things, ‘cos they can easily cost over £500’. The Prince is banned from going to Vegas now, so has nothing else to spend his cash on. </p> <p>The Duke of Cambridge has been excitedly choosing décor and furnishings for the nursery and was going to get his overalls out and do it up this coming weekend. However, ‘Kate said ‘Fuck it. Why don’t you get the sodding servants to get their hands dirty instead and we can go Christmas shopping instead’. </p> <p>Kate, who has been in hospital, suffering from morning sickness, a condition which 95% of pregnant women experience, will take a break from her arduous work schedule of being driven around the country, waving to people. </p> <p>Rumours that Prince Harry fathered three children while on holiday in Las Vegas cannot be confirmed at this stage. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=52678#post-151869 Tue, 04 Dec 2012 14:18:54 +0000 writinginbsl 151869@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>potential</p> <p>stars </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=52721#post-151780 Tue, 04 Dec 2012 08:05:37 +0000 ionb 151780@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Following on from the recent discovery of the mystical lair of unicorns in North Korea, Doctors in the UK today announced the discovery of yet another magical animal - Babius Royalus, or a Royal Baby.</p> <p>These magical creatures have the ability to control the thoughts of a whole nation and even editors of news papers. 60 million people in the UK have already forgotten about austerity, political corruption, incompetent politicians, high taxes, low services, unemplpoyment and a whole host of other problems...</p> <p>PM David Cameron offered his congratulations to the doctors... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=52678#post-151691 Mon, 03 Dec 2012 17:20:54 +0000 WatcherMark 151691@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>The BBC has recently confirmed that the announcement of the long-overdue pregnancy of Kate Middleton has ensured that there there will be no other news <em>"for the next week or so"</em>.</p> <p>Recent stories including the fallout from the Jimmy Savile scandal, Starbucks implementing new tax regulations and the possibly fatal dangers of dental X-Ray machines have all been placed 'on hold' while the birth of our future possible monarch is fully reported.</p> <p><em>"We've got a lot planned"</em> confirmed a BBC spokesman, <em>"For the first couple of days, we intend to have a lot of talking heads discussing the huge impact this child will have on the country with Royal experts drilling in the fact that she'll be third in line to the throne as well as endless shots of William and Kate's wedding. After that we'll be speaking to the public and asking them for name suggestions as we patiently wait for shots of the Duchess leaving hospital. Finally, we intend to climax with a CGI approximation of what the baby will look like."</em></p> <p>When asked about the importance of other stories in the news at the moment, the BBC spokeman shrugged and muttered <em>"Stuff like that is hardly in the public interest at the moment. We'll possibly cover it at 2am or something."</em></p> <p>Sky is due to confirm a similar plan in the next few hours, and Kay Burley is reported to be interviewing William with questions about the couple's sex life. The Daily Express is also printing a special edition tomorrow with the headline 'DIANA WOULD HAVE LOVED A GRANDCHILD (IF SHE HADN'T BEEN MURDERED)'. </p>